JS  IT  11/ 


A  BOOK  vov  srs&y  hkv, 

A  COMPANION  TO 

WHY    NOT? 

A    Book    for    Every  Woman. 


BY 

Prof.  HORATIO    ROBINSON  STORER,  M.D., 

OF    U08T0N, 

Vice-President  of  the  American  Medical  Association. 


noma  sum,  humani  nihil  a  me  alienum  puto.    Terence. 


BOSTON: 

LEE     AND     SHEPARD. 
1868. 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1867,  by 

LEE    AND    SHEPARD, 

In  tile  Clerk's  Office  of  tlie  District  Court  of  the  District  of  Massachusetts. 


Stereotyped  at  the  Boston  Stereotype  Foundry, 
If  Spring  Lane. 


TO 


DR.  THOMAS   ADDIS   EMMET, 

OF    NEW    YORK, 

Surgeon  to  the  State  Woman's  Hospital; 

ONE    OF    THE    ONLY    TWO    PURELY    UTERINE    SPECIALISTS 

AS  YET  PRACTISING  IN  AMERICA  ;  * 

flje  ^upil  anir  Successor  of  PErion  ^ms, 

AND  HIMSELF,  AS  AN  OPERATOR,  HIS  GREAT  MASTER'S 
MORE  THAN  EQUAL. 


*  As  contradistlnguiehed  from  especialists,  of  whom  there  are  many. 


My  dear  Dr.  Emmet  : 

The  little  "Why  Not?"  of  the  American  Medical 
Association  is  having  so  large  a  sale  that  my  publishers 
have  besought  me  to  write  a  book  for  men,  to  cover 
ground  that  I  had  left  untouched,  relating  to  the  cau- 
sation and  prevention  of  various  forms  of  uterine  dis- 
ease. Many  physicians  and  many  lady  patients  have 
desired  me  to  do  the  same  thing,  and  I  have  yielded  to 
their  advice.  Our  friend  Dr.  Brown-Sequard  permitted 
me  to  dedicate  the  second  edition  of  the  former  book  to 
himself,  kindly  saying  that  he  deemed  it  something 
more  than  a  compliment.  At  the  outset  I  was  uncer- 
tain of  success,  and  so  the  first  edition  went  without 
sponsor. 

In  allowing  me,  in  the  case  of  the  book  now  in  press, 
thus  to  manifest  my  personal  esteem  for  yourself,  and 
my  appreciation  of  your  many  contributions  to  the  ad- 
vancement of  our  science,  you  will  become  my  coadjutor 
in  this  attempt  to  preserve  women  from  bodily  and 
mental  anguish,  from  disease  and  from  crime. 

Yours,  ever  sincerely, 

Horatio  R.  Storer. 
Boston,  June  3,  1867. 


CONTENTS. 


Faor 

Prefatory  Remarks 7 

I.   It  is  not  Good  to  be  Alone 17 

II.   Marriage  as  a  Sanitary  Measure 35 

III.  How   Early  in  Life   is  Marriage  to  be  Ad- 

vised?      ^S 

IV.  The  Rights  of  the  Husband 87 

V.   Are  these   Rights   Absolute,   or  Reciprocal, 

with  Duties 99 

VI.    Should   mere   Instinct,    or   Reason,   be    the 

Rule.? I" 

VII.    Arguments   and   Counter   Arguments    as  to 

Divorce 118 

VIII.   A  Plea  for  Woman 127 

Appendix. — A  Woman's  View  of  "Why  Not?"     .  1 19 


PUBLISHERS'    NOTE. 


Since  the  first  edition  of  "  Whv  Not?"  was  pub- 
lished, we  have  received  many  letters  of  approval,  and 
of  inquiry  relative  to  its  author.  In  issuing  this  new 
treatise,  which  we  believe  destined  like  the  first  to  be- 
come a  standard  book,  and  to  have  even  a  greater  circu- 
lation than  that,  we  have  thought  that  a  few  lines  of 
information  on  our  part  would  not  be  considered  inap- 
propriate. 

Professor  Storer's  writings  are  no  inapt  index  to  his 
own  character.  He  is  thoroughly  alive  to  his  duties ; 
sagacious  to  discern  the  truth,  fearless  in  asserting  it. 
Progressive,  without  being  too  radical,  he  is  still  suffi- 
ciently conservative  to  respect  the  opinions  of  others, 
even  though  at  variance  with  his  own.  Perhaps  no  Amer- 
ican physician  of  his  own  age,  holds  at  the  present  time 
a  more  prominent  position  in  his  profession.  He  has 
already  been  quoted  as  authority  by  European  writers  ; 
and  in  this  country  he  seems  everywhere  to  have 
received  the  most  flattering  acknowledgment  of  his 
scientific  labors,  save  here  in  his  own  city,  where  for 
many  years  he  has  met  with  uninterrupted  opposition, 
and  even  personal  abuse,  from  a  professional  clique  — 
the  result,  doubtless,  of  jealousy  upon  their  part,  envy, 
and  that  spirit  of  antagonism  which  has  long  rendered 
the  disagreements  of  physicians  a  by-word. 

Dr.  Oliver  Wendell  Holmes  has  happily  described  the 

(vii) 


Vm  PUBLISHERS     NOTE. 

present  instance  in  the  last  chapter  jet  published  of 
his  "Guardian  Angel,"  where  he  sajs,  "There  is  no 
possible  success  without  some  opposition  as  a  fulcrum  ; 
force  is  always  aggressive,  and  crowds  something  or 
other,  if  it  does  not  hit  or  trample  on  it." 

There  is  one  other  reason  which  has  undoubtedly 
gone  far  to  render  Prof.  Storer  no  exception  to  the 
rule  that  a  leader  is  seldom  appreciated  by  those  in  his 
own  immediate  vicinity,  until  —  as  is  rapidly  occurring 
in  the  present  ii  stance  —  he  has  conquered  renown. 
Resident  for  a  long  time  at  Edinburgh,  in  very  inti- 
mate relations  with  the  celebrated  Sir  James  Y.  Simp- 
son, the  discoverer  of  chloroform  as  an  ancesthetic, 
Prof.  Storer  is  peculiarly  a  representative  of  the  Scotch 
school  of  obstetrics,  and  has  zealously  and  successfully 
upheld  its  peculiar  tenets,  in  opposition  to  the  many 
disciples  of  the  French  and  Viennese  schools  among 
his  contemporaries. 

It  has  been  asserted  of  Dr.  Storer  that,  when  engaged 
in  professional  controversy,  he  is  pitiless  and  unsparing. 
These  statements  seem  traceable  to  opponents  who  have 
been  worsted,  and  speak  from  bitter  experience.  There 
may,  however,  be  some  reason  to  believe,  that,  like  his 
teacher,  Dr.  Simpson,  he  has  profited  by  the  advice  of 
Polonius  :  — 

"  r.cware 
Of  entrance  to  a  qnarrel ;  but,  being  in, 
Bear  it  that  the  opposer  may  beware  of  thee." 

The  character  of  the  weapons  that  have  been  used 
Against  our  author  maj'  be  judged  by  an  extract  from  a 
personal  attack  contained — without  a  word  of  pallia- 
tion or  excuse  from  the  editors  —  in  one  of  the  latesl 
numbers  of  the  Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal. 


PUBLISHERS     XOTE.  IX 

In  attempting  to  save  a  poor  invalid  —  sure  otherwise 
soon  to  perish  —  Dr.  Storer  had  performed  one  of  the 
most  tedious  and  difficult  operations  in  surgery,  hith- 
erto successful  in  a  most  notable  instance  at  his  hands, 
namely,  the  removal  of  the  womb  by  incision  through 
the  abdomen  :  an  operation  with  which  his  name  will  be 
forever  identified.  In  commenting  upon  it,  the  would-be 
critic  used  the  following  language  :  "Allow  me  publicly 
to  protest,  most  solemnly,  against  such  practice,  and 
earnestly  to  beg  of  my  professional  brethren,  every- 
where, to  use  their  utmost  influence  to  prevent  their 
patients  and  friends  from  employing  or  consulting  such 
practitioners." 

Abuse  like  this  is  sure,  of  course,  to  react  upon  those 
who  employ  it,  and  to  gain  for  its  object  the  sym- 
pathy and  active  interest  of  all  lovers  of  fair  play  and 
justice.  By  a  happy  coincidence,  the  article  referred  to 
chanced  to  be  followed,  on  the  same  page,  by  another, 
which  we  also  quote  :  — 

"  At  a  meeting  of  the  Physicians  and  Surgeons  in 
attendance  upon  Prof.  H.  R.  Storer's  course  of  Lectures 
on  the  Surgical  Diseases  of  Women,  just  delivered  at 
Hotel  Pelham,  in  Boston,  the  following  preamble  and 
resolutions  were  adopted  :  — 

"  Whereas,  We,  the  attendants  upon  Prof.  Storer's  first 
private  course  of  Lectures  on  the  Surgical  Diseases  of 
Women,  being  regular  practising  physicians  and  sur- 
geons, have  long  experienced  the  disadvantages  arising 
from  the  very  imperfect  manner  in  which  these  subjects 
have  been  treated  in  our  text  books,  and  by  the  pro- 
Tcssors  in  our  colleges ;  many  of  the  most  important 
diseases  and  operations  being  entirely  ignored  by  men 
who  think  deeply  and  reason  candidly  in  all  other  mat- 
ters pertaining  to  medicine  and  surgery;  and,  whereas, 
we  cannot  but  feel  that  this  class  of  diseases  is  the  most 


X  PUBLISHERS     NOTE. 

important,  believing  it  to  be  the  cause  of  n-.ore  suffering 
than  any  other,  therefore  — 

"  Resolved,  That  we  tender  to  Dr.  Storer  our  sincere 
gratitude  for  taking  the  advance  step  which  he  has, 
thereby  giving  us,  as  we  hope  he  will  hereafter  give 
others,  the  opportunity  of  hearing  these  subjects  dis- 
cussed' thoroughly  and  impartially. 

"  Resolved,  That  a  copy  of  these  resolutions  be  pre- 
sented to  Prof.  Storer,  and  sent  to  The  Boston  Medical 
and  Surgical  Journal,  and  The  New  York  Medical 
Record,  for  publication. 

(Signed)      Chas.  M.  Carleton,  Norwich,  Conn. 

Daniel  Manx,  Pelham,  N.  H. 

G.  E.  BuLLARD,  Blackstone,  Mass. 

J.  A.  McDoNouGH,  Boston,  " 

M.  C.  Talbott,  Warren,  Pa. 

H.  Gerould,  Erie,  Pa. 

E.  F.  Upham,  W.  Randolph,  Vt. 

W.  A.  I.  Case,  Hamilton,  C.  W. 

W.  L.  Wells,  Howell,  JNIich." 

These  resolutions  derive  their  significance  from  the 
fact  that  the  signers  are  neither  students  nor  recent 
graduates,  but  practitioners,  chiefly  of  many  years 
standing,  who  have  become  alive  to  the  importance  of 
the  special  diseases  of  women. 

It  will  be  perceived,  by  our  title  page,  that  Dr.  Storer, 
although  as  yet  hardly  forty  years  of  age,  has  already 
attained  the  highest  medical  honor,  save  one,  that  can 
be  conferred  in  this  country — the  exception  being  the 
Presidency  of  the  National  Medical  Association,  a  posi- 
tion lately  occupied  by  his  distinguished  father.  The 
success  of  the  son  will  not  be  wondered  at,  when  the 
extent  and  variety  of  the  contributions  that  he  has 
made  to  medical  science  are  taken  into  consideration. 
In  reply  to  several  requests  that  have   been  made  of 


PUBLISHERS     NOTE.  xi 

US,  we  append  a  list  of  the  various  professional  works 
and  monographs  of  Dr.  Storer,  so  far  as  we  have 
been  able  to  collect  them.  This  list  is  probably  not 
entirely  complete,  in  consequence  of  the  author's  dis- 
inclination to  give  us  all  the  aid  we  could  have  wished 
in  its  compilation,  partly  Ave  suppose  from  a  lack  of 
leisure,  and  partly  from  a  desire,  as  we  have  reason  to 
believe,  to  avoid  any  imputation  of  courting  publicity. 
We  are  ourselves  satisfied  that  the  book  that  we  now 
present  to  the  community  will  in  nowise  lessen  his  well- 
earned  reputation. 


I. 

The  Obstetric  Memoirs  and  Contributions  of 
Sir  James  Y.  Simpson,  Professor  of  Midwifery  in  the 
University  of  Edinburgh.  Edited  by  his  assistants,  Drs. 
W.  O.  Priestley  (now  Professor  in  King's  College,  Lon- 
don), and  H.  R.  Storer  (now  Professor  in  Berkshire 
Medical  College).  Two  large  volumes.  Edinburgh: 
Adam  &  Charles  Black.   1855. 

Also,  The  Above.  American  edition.  Philadelphia: 
J.  B.  Lippincott  &  Co.  1856. 

II. 

A  Word  in  Defence  of  an  American  Surgeon. 
(Dr.  J.  Mason  Warren,  of  Boston.) 

Controversy  with  Dr.  Gillespie,  of  Edinburgh. 

Letter  I.  London  Medical  Times  and  Gazette,  May, 
1855- 

Letter  II.  American  Journal  of  the  Medical  Sciences. 
Philadelphia :  October,  1S55. 


XII  PUBLISHERS     NOTE. 

III. 

Boston  Lying-In  Hospital  Reports.    Boston  Med- 
ical and  Surgical  Journal,  1855,  1856,  &c. 

IV. 

Elm  Tents  for   the  Dilatation  of  the  Cervix 
Uteri. 

Read  before  the  Medico-Chirurgical  Society  of  Edin- 
burgh, May  1855. 

Article  I.     Asrociation  Medical  Journal  of  London, 
May,  1855. 

Article   II.    Boston    Medical   and    Surgical  Journal, 
November,  1855. 

V. 

Cases  Illustrative  of  Obstetric  Disease. 

Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  1856  to  1865. 

VI. 
New  Form  of  Intra-Uterine  Pessary. 
Read  before  the  Suftblk  District  Medical  Society. 
Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  November,  1856. 

VII. 
Review  of  Clay's  "  Complete  Handbook  of  Ob- 
stetric Surgery." 
Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  November,  1S56. 

VIII. 
Caustic  Potash  as  an  Application  to  the  Inte- 
rior OF  THE  Uterus.     Its  first  suggestion. 
Article  I.    Read   before   the  Suffolk  District  Medical 


PUBLISHERS     NOTE.  XIU 

Society.     Boston  Medical  and   Surgical  Journal,  Octo- 
ber, 1856. 

Article  II.    Ibid.,  October,  1858. 

Article  III.    Ibid.,  July,  1859. 

IX. 

Cases  of  Nymphomania. 

Read  before  the  Boston  Society  for  Medical  Observa- 
tion, July,  1856. 

American  Journal  of  the  Medical  Sciences,  October, 
1856. 

X. 
Report  of  the  Committee  appointed  by  the 
Suffolk  District  Medical  Society,  "  to  consider 
whether  any  future  legislation  is  necessary  on  the  sub- 
ject of  Criminal  Abortion ;  and  to  report  to  the  Society 
such  other  means  as  may  seem  necessary  for  the  sup- 
pression of  this  abominable,  unnatural,  yet  common 
crime." 

Drs.  H.  R.  Storer,  Chairmait. 
H.  I.  Bowditch. 
Calvin  Ellis. 
Read  before  the  Society,  May,  1857. 

XI. 

Cupping  the  Interior  of  the  Uterus. 
Read  before  the  Boston  Society  for  Medical  Observa- 
tion, February,  1857. 

American  Journal  of  the  Medical   Sciences,  January, 

1859. 

XII. 

The  Use  and  Abuse  of  Uterine  Tents. 
American  Journal  of  the  Medical  Sciences,  January, 
1859. 


XIV  PUBLISHERS     NOTE. 

XIII. 

Cases  Illustrative  of  Criminal  Abortion. 
American  Journal  of  the  Medical  Sciences,  April,  1S59. 

XIV. 

The  Uterine  Dilator  ;  a  New  Method  of  reach- 
ing THE  Uterine  Cavity,  and  of  inducing  Prema- 
ture Labor. 

American  Journal  of  the  Medical  Sciences,  July,  1859. 

XV. 
Report    of    the    Committee    of   the   American 
Medical  Association,  "  to  investigate  the  subject  of 
Criminal   Abortion,   with    a   view  to    its    general    sup- 
pression." 

Drs.  H.  R.  Storer,  of  Mass.,  Chairman. 
T.  W.  Blatchford,  of  New  York. 
Hugh  L.  Hodge,  of  Pennsylvania. 
E.  H.  B.'VRTON,  of  South  Carolina. 
A.  Lopez,  of  Alabama. 
W.  H.  Brisbane,  of  Wisconsin. 
A.  J.  Semmes,  of  District  Columbia. 
Rendered  at  Louisville,  May,  1859. 
Transactions  of  the  Association,  i860. 

XVI. 

Is  Abortion  ever  a  Crime? 

North  American  Medico-Chirurgical  Review,  January, 

1859. 

XVII. 

Its  Frequency,  and  the  Causes  thereof. 

North  Arr.erican  Medico-Chirurgical  Review,  March, 

1859- 


PUBLISHERS     NOTE.  XV 

XVIII. 

Its  Victims. 
Ibid.,  May,  1859. 

XIX. 
Its  Proofs. 
Ibid. 

XX. 
Its  Perpetrators. 
Ibid. 

XXI. 
Its  Innocent  Abettors. 
Ibid.,  Julj,  1859. 

XXII. 
Its  Obstacles  to  Conviction. 
Ibid.,  September,  1859. 

XXIII. 

Can  it  be  at  all  controlled  by  Law? 

Ibid.,  November,  1859. 

Also  the  above,  from  XVI.  to  XXIII.,  in  a  collective 
form,  under  the  title  of  Criminal  Abortion  in  Amer- 
ica.    Philadelphia  :  J.  B.  Lippincott  &  Co.     1S60. 

XXIV. 
A  Medico-Legal  Study  of  Rape. 
New  York  Medical  Journal,  November,  1865. 

XXV. 

The  Abetment  of  Criminal  Abortion  by  Med- 
ical Men. 

Read  before  the  Massachusetts  Medical  Society,  May 
iP,  1S66. 

New  York  Medical  Journal,  September,  1866. 


XVI  PUBLISHERS     NOTE. 

XXVI. 

Subcutaneous  Injection  as  a  Cure  for  the  Tooth- 
ache OF  Pregnancy. 

Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  October,  1S59. 

XXVII. 

Studies  of  Abortion. 

Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  February,  1863. 

XXVIII. 

Artificial  Dilatation  of  the  Os  and  Cervix 
Uteri  by  Fluid  Pressure  from  above;  a  reply  to 
Drs.  Keiller,  of  Edinburgh,  and  Arnott  and  Barnes,  of 
London. 

Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  July,  1863. 

XXIX. 
On   Chloroform  Inhalation   during   Labor.     A 
reply  to  Dr.  Robert  Johns,  of  Dublin. 

Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  August,  1863. 

XXX. 

Report  op  the  State  Commission  on  Insanity. 

Hon.  Jos  I  ah  Quincy,  Jr. 

Drs.  Alfred  Hitchcock, 
and  H.  R.  Storer. 
Mass.  Legislative  Document,  (Senate  72.)    Feb.,  1864. 

XXXI. 

The  Employment  of  Anesthetics  in  Childbirth 
Read   before   the  Massachusetts  Medical   Society,  at 
Pittsfield,June,  1863. 

Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  October,  1863. 


PUBLISHERS     NOTK.  XVii 

The  above  was  republished,  under  the  name  of  Euto- 
KIA ;  A  Word  to  Physicia.x's  and  to  Women.  Boston  : 
A.  Williams  &  Co.    1863. 

XXXII. 

The  Medical  Management  of  Insane  Women. 

Article  I.  Read  before  the  Suffolk  District  Medical 
Society,  December,  1863 ;  and  the  American  Academy 
of  Arts  and  Sciences,  February,  1S64. 

Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  April,  1864. 

Article  II.    Ibid.,  October,  1864. 

Article  III.    Ibid.,  November,  1S64. 

XXXIII. 
The  Relations    of   Female    Patients   to  Hospi- 
tals for  the  Insane. 

Transactions  of  the  American  Medical  Association. 
1864. 

XXXIV. 

The  Surgical  Treatment  of  Amenorrhcea. 
American  Journal  of  the  Medical  Sciences,  January, 
1864. 

XXXV. 

Report  to  the  American  Medical  Association 
OF  its  Delegate  to  the  Association  of  Superin- 
tendents OF  Asylums  for  the  Insane. 

Transactions  of  the  American  Medical  Association. 
1866. 

XXXVI. 

A  new  Operation  for  Umbilical  Hernia,  with 
Remarks  upon  Exploratory  Incisions  of  the 
Abdomen. 

Article  I.    New  York  Medical  Record,  April,  1S66. 

Article  II.    Ibid.,  July,  1S66. 
2 


Xviii  PUBLISHERS     NOTE. 

XXXVII. 

Successful  Removal  of  the  Uterus  and  both 
Ovaries  by  Abdominal  Section. 

Read  before  the  American  Academy  of  Arts  and 
Sciences,  November  14,  1S65. 

American  Journal  of  the  Medical  Sciences,  January, 
1S66. 

XXXVIII. 

The  Clamp  Shield  ;  an  Instrument  designed  to 

LESSEN   certain    SuRGICAL    DANGERS,    MORE    PARTICU- 
LARLY   THOSE     OF     EXTIRPATION    OF     THE    UtERUS     BY 

Abdominal  Section. 

Article  I.  Transactions  of  the  American  Medical  As- 
sociation.   Vol.  XVII.    1866. 

Article  II.  Read  before  the  Berkshire  District  Medical 
Society,  July  25,  1866. 

New  York  Medical  Record,  October,  1S66. 

XXXIX. 

Vesico-Vaginal    Fistula,    and    the    Operations 

therefor,     a  Review. 

American  Journal  of  the  Medical   Sciences,  October, 

1857- 

XL. 

The  Causation,  Course,  and  Rational  Treat- 
ment OF  Insanity  in  Women. 

Transactions  of  the  American    Medical  Association. 

1S65. 

XLI. 

The  Unfitness  of  Women  for  Medical  Practi- 
tioners. 

Letter  of  Resignation  as  Surgeon  to  the  New  England 
Hospital  for  Women  and  Children. 

Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  September,  1866. 


PUBLISHERS      NOTE,  XIX 

XLII. 

iNEBRiiiTY  IN  WoMEN ;  an  Appendix  to  the  Treatise 
on  Methomania,  or  Alcoholic  Poisoning,  bj  Dr.  Albert 
Day,  now  Superintendent  of  the  New  York  State  As  vlum 
for  Inebriates,  at  Binghamton.  Boston  :  James  Camp- 
bell.    1S67. 

XLIII. 

On  the  Decrease  of  the  Rate  of  Increase  of 
Population  now  obtaining  in  Europe  and  America. 

Read  before  the  American  Academy  of  Arts  and 
Sciences,  December  14,  1S58. 

American  Journal  of  Science  and  Art,  New  Haven, 
March,  1S67. 

We  are  happy  to  be  able  to  add  that  Prof.  Storer  has 
half  promised  to  prepare  for  us  a  book  upon  the  Causa- 
tion and  Rational  Treatment  of  Insanity  in  Women, 
his  report  to  the  American  Medical  Association  having 
never  been  reprinted  from  the  Transactions  of  that 
body,  although  permission  has  been  given  him  to  do 
BO.  For  this  work  it  is  already  well  known  that  Dr. 
Storer  is  preeminently  fitted.  His  opportunities  both 
for  private  and  official  observation  have  been  unusual, 
and  his.  views  are  scientific,  reasonable,  and  in  great 
measure  at  variance  with  the  antiquated  ones  hitherto 
generally  entertained.  The  subject  is  cne  of  intense 
interest  to  every  member  of  the  community,  and  we  are 
sure  that  the  appearance  of  the  book  will  be  eagerly 
looked  forward  to  by  thousands,  alike  of  men  and  of 
women,  and  that  it  will  do  a  great  deal  of  good. 

LEE  &  SHEPARD. 
Boston,  August  i,  1867. 


PREFATORY    REMARKS. 


By  its  action  in  1864,  in  offering  a  prize  for 
the  best  "  short  and  comprehensive  tract  for  cir- 
culation among  females,  for  the  purpose  of  en- 
lightening them  upon  the  criminality  and  physical 
evils  of  forced  abortions,"  and  again  in  1S65,  in 
authorizing  the  general  circulation  of  the  suc- 
cessful essay,  the  American  Medical  Association 
initiated  a  system,  or  rather  method,  of  general 
professional  influence  hitherto  entirely  unknown. 
The  experiment  was  a  hazardous  one.  There 
were  many  who  viewed  it  with  extreme  anxiety, 
lest  it  should  result  in  the  destruction  of  "  the 
barrier  which,  for  the  mutual  protection,  both  of 
science  and  the  community,  had  always  been 
allowed  to  stand,"  there  were  those  who,  from 
having  given  no  observation  whatever  to  the  sub- 
ject, were  inclined  to  think  that  its  importnnce 
had   been  ovr vrated  ;   and  others  still,   who,   ad- 

(7) 


8  PREFATORY    REMARKS. 

mitting  the  facts,  thought  their  discussion  ii> 
deHcate,  unwise,  or  positively  dangerous.  The 
event,  however,  has  shown  the  propriety  of  the 
course  pursued  by  tlie  Association.  The  demand 
for  the  little  essay  has  been  so  great  as  to  aston- 
ibli  even  booksellers  themselves.  Every  medical 
journal  throughout  the  country,  I  am  told,  with- 
out exception,  has  given  it  a  kindly  notice.  The 
secidar  press  has  everywhere  praised  the  profes- 
sion for  its  united  eflbrt  thus  to  enlighten  the  so 
general  ignorance  upon  a  professional  topic  ;  and 
even  the  pulpit  has,  in  many  places,  joined  itself 
hand  in  hand  with  our  own  body  in  the  good 
work,*  so  that  the  times  of  old,  when  the  clergy- 
man was  to  the  physician  an  aid  and  a  support, 
rather  than  as  is  now  so  frequently  the  case,  an 
adversary  and  a  stumbling-block,  have  seemed 
almost  to  be  restored. 

Upon  carefully  considering  the  whole  subject, 
I  am  satisfied  that  though  much  has  thus  been 
accomplished  by  the  Association  towards  enhan- 
cing the  general  weal,  there  is  still  further  work 
to  be  done  ere  all  that  is  necessary  can  be  effected. 

*  I  refer  more  particularly  to  articles  in  the  North 
Western  Christian  Advocate,  by  Rev.  Dr.  Eddy,  of  Chi- 
cago, and  in  the  Congregationalist,  by  Rev.  Dr.  Todd,  of 
Pittsfield,  the  latter  having  been  republished  hy  Messrs. 
Lee  &  Shepard  of  Boston,  under  the  title  of  "  Serpents 
in  the  Doves'  Nest." 


PREFATORY    REMARKS.  9 

III  the  prize  essay  referred  to,  I  portrayed,  and 
endeavored  to  do  it  with  fideHty,  the  criniinaHtv 
of  wiH'ully  tampering  with  the  Hfe  of  the  unborn 
child,  and  the  physical  injury  sure,  sooner  or 
later,  to  result  therefrom  to  the  mother,  ordina- 
rily causing  her,  far  sooner  than  would  pregnan- 
cies naturally  completed,  to  lose  the  bloom  of  her 
youth,  and  with  it  one  of  the  securities  of  her 
husband's  love,  predisposing  her  to  a  wide  range 
of  disease  otherwise  escaped,  and  in  fact  rapidly 
breaking  her  down  in  health  and  in  hope,  alike 
of  things  earthly  and  of  things  spiritual ;  for  to 
most  foeticidal  women,  after  the  climacteric,  oi* 
so-called  "  turn  of  life,"  has  passed,  there  comes 
a  realizing  sense  of  the  home  they  have  lost 
through  their  own  folly,  their  own  sin.  To  stem 
the  tide  of  fashion,  —  for  it  was  fast  becoming 
the  way  of  the  world  to  bear  no  children,  —  and 
to  show  matters  in  their  true  light  by  holding  the 
mirror  up  to  nature,  was  thus  attempted  by  the 
Association.  The  nail  upon  which  society  is  to 
hang  its  faith  has  been  driven  ;  to  clinch  it,  and 
so  tD  render  its  hold  secure,  another  blow  is 
needed.  The  necessity  I  proceed  to  show,  and 
the  stroke  to  give,  only  regretting  that  my  feeble 
arm  is  not  that  of  some  one  of  the  Association's 
stronger  men,  and  my  pen  tipped  with  the  flame 
which  should   cause   these   words  to  burn  their 


IQ  PREFATORY    REMARKS. 

way  to  the  ver)  hearts  of  those  to  whom  they  are 
addressed. 

It  may,  perhaps,  be  alleged  that  the  topics  of 
which  this  book  must  treat  are  such  as  cannot 
'lossibly    be    discussed   without    offending   good 
taste  or  transcending  propriety.     This   opinion, 
like  many  that  are  merely  preconceived,  may  be 
found  an  erroneous  one.     It  may  also,  perhaps, 
be  said  that  the  field  of  inquiry  is  one  that  has 
been  given  over,  by  tacit  consent,  to  a  class  of 
writers  who  are  theorists  only,  without  previous 
opportunities    of   extended    observation,   or   self- 
constituted   moralists,  who   argue  from  abstract 
speculations  rather  than  from  the  facts  that  na- 
ture  daily   furnishes   to   the   physician   in   active 
practice.     This  has  undoubtedly  been  the  case. 
I  have  been  astonished  at  the  mass  of  material 
of  the  description  referred  to,  that  my  publishers 
have   sent  me  from  their  shelves  for   inspection 
since  the  manuscript  of  this  book  was  placed  in 
their  hands.     Essays  of  the  most  incoherent  char- 
acter, some  of  them  utterly  unintelligible   even, 
have   vied    for    circulation    with    others,  which, 
under  the  guise  of  a  rational  physiology,  or  phi- 
losophy, or  religion,  inculcate  doctrines  the  most 
pernicious  alike  to  body,  mind,  and  soul.     It  is 
my  aim  to  avoid  being  confounded  in  any  way 
whatever  with  this  class  of  writers.     The  views 


PREFATORY    REMARKS.  II 

that  I  present  are  those  accepted  as  true  by  the 
physicians  of  our  time  most  competent  to  judge, 
and  ii  will  be  seen  that  they  are  consistent  with 
sound  common  sense.  The  result  of  many  years 
of  study,  under  very  unusual  opportunities  for 
observing  disease,  I  have  not  the  slightest  doubt 
as  to  the  verdict  that  will  be  passed  upon  them 
by  the  grand  jury  to  whom  they  are  now  sub- 
mitted. 

I  have  said  that  the  Prize  Essay  upon  Abor- 
tions has  elicited  extended  and  very  favorable 
comments.  Among  those  that  have  been  brought 
to  my  notice  there  have  been  two  of  a  very  strik- 
ing and  very  peculiar  character,  both  of  them 
apparently  made  in  the  most  perfectly  good  faith, 
and  from  the  most  diametrically  opposite  quar- 
ters. As  to  the  personal  identity  of  their  authors, 
I  know  nothing.  One  of  these  criticisms  is 
offered  by  a  woman,  "  the  wife,"  she  is  styled, 
''  of  a  Christian  physician  ;"  her  plea  is  evidently 
the  result  of  extended  observation,  in  no  way, 
I  trust,  from  personal  experience,  though  it  must 
have  been  the  unlocking  of  a  warm,  and  brave, 
and  sympathetic  heart.  Its  arguments  are  so 
weighty,  and  they  are  so  well  put,  that  I  copy  the 
letter  entire  in  an  Appendix  to  this  essay,  and 
trust,  with  the  editors  of  the  journal  in  which  it 
appeared,   ^'  that  it  ma}    find    its   way,    in   some 


i2  PKKFATORY    REMARKS. 

more  popular  form  than  their  pages  afforded,  to 
the  eyes  of  every  husband  in  the  land."  * 

The  other  article  to  which  I  refer  is  of  a  later 
date,t  and  this  is  written  by  one  of  our  own  sex, 
who  comments  upon  the  preceding,  or  "  A  Wo- 
man's View,"  stating  that  he  is  upon  the  eve  of 
marriage,  "  and  though  not  a  whit  more  sensual 
;han  most  men,  cannot  be  too  grateful  for  having 
thus  forcibly  brought  to  his  mind  a  view  which 
he  for  one  had  doubtless  scarce  otherwise  con- 
sidered." ''  I  would  to  God,"  he  continues,  "  that 
it  might  meet  and  claim  the  serious  considera- 
tion of  every  man  born  of  woman's  agony."  The 
first  of  these  articles,  to  again  quote  from  the 
editorial  remarks  concerning  it,  '"certainly  ex- 
presses, with  exceeding  delicacy  and  truthfulness, 
the  universal  feeling  of  her  sex  upon  a  subject 
which  deserves  more  attention  from  our  profes- 
sion than  it  has  hitherto  received."  The  gen- 
tlemen making  this  assertion,  Drs.  Abbot  and 
White,  of  the  Medical  School  of  Harvard  Uni- 
versity, are  generally  considered  men  of  a  con- 
servative cast  of  mind,  very  conservative  indeed 
for  Massachusetts,  and  not  in  the  least  prone 
towards  recognition  of  any  "  woman's  rights " 
that  are  at  all  of  a  doubtful  character.     What, 

*  Boston  Med.  and  Surg.  Journal,  Nov.  1866,  p.  274. 
t  Ibid.,  Jan.  1S67,  p.  490. 


PREFATORY    REMARKS.  I3 

however,  they  do  refer  to  will  probably  make 
itself  evident  in  the  following  pages.  It  is,  in- 
deed, the  fact,  that  besides  our  appeal  to  women 
upon  these  matters,  so  pertinent  to  her  physical 
and  moral  health,  and  to  the  well  being  of  so- 
ciety, we  must  pillory  the  tnan^  who,  under  the 
guise  of  affection,  steals  from  the  maid  her  pearl 
of  great  price  ;  who,  under  the  plea  of  a  husband's 
prerogative,  enforced,  perchance,  by  scriptural 
texts,  makes  of  his  wife,  disappointed,  suffering, 
perhaps  despairing,  but  the  constant  object  of  his 
savage  lust,  and  makes  of  himself  what  is  worse 
than  the  savage,  a  brute  ;  —  or  who,  charged  with 
the  sacred  duty,  alike  a  grateful  privilege,  of 
guarding  the  public  health,  and  of  fathoming  the 
mysteries  both  of  sanitary  and  of  social  science, 
yet  under  the  dread  of  being  thought  a  visionary, 
or  what  so  many  consider  as  identical  with  this, 
a  reformer  or  a  philanthropist,  folds  his  hands 
demurely,  and  closes  his  eyes  upon  what  he 
else  must  see.  Must  these  evils  still  endure,  or 
ought  we  not  all  of  us,  whether  in  or  out  of  the 
professional  ranks,  when  the  nian  is  thus  placed 
foce  to  face  with  his  victim,  to  inquire  of  our- 
selves, soberly  and  in  all  sincerity,  "  Is  it  I  ?  " 

In  one  of  the  papers  referred  to,  that  by  the 
lady,  it  is  stated  that  "  if  Dr.  Storer  will  per- 
form as   noble  service  for  our  brothers  and  hus- 


lA  PREFATORY    REMARKS. 

bands  as  for  ourselves,  ?.nd  send  the  two  books 
out  hand  in  hand,  they  will  bring  him  back  a 
rich  harvest  of  gratitude  and  amendment  in  mor- 
als." To  attempt  to  do  this  is,  I  am  well  aware, 
a  dangerous  task.  There  are  undoubtedly  those 
who  will  deny  its  necessity,  find  fault  with  its 
execution,  and  perhajDS  impugn  the  motives  of 
the  writer.  Such,  however,  was  the  case,  in 
each  of  these  respects,  with  my  former  essay,  and 
as  that  met  with  so  hearty  and  so  general  ap- 
proval on  the  part  of  the  profession,  I  am  em- 
boldened again  to  enter  the  arena,  trusting  again 
to  disarm  mistaken  or  unfriendly  criticism.  Be 
this  as  it  may,  I,  for  my  own  part,  have  become 
deeply  impressed  with  the  need  of  addressing  a 
word  to  men  ;  and  believing  in  this  as  a  duty,  I 
wait  not  for  others  to  decide  the  question  for  me. 

Accepting  the  labor  in  this  light,  I  do  not 
hesitate  to  repeat  the  language  of  my  previous 
essay,  and  state  that  "  the  writer  presents  the 
accompanying  paper  neither  for  fame  nor  for 
reward.  It  has  been  prepared  solely  for  the 
good  of  the  communit3\  If  it  be  considered 
worthy  its  end,  their  approbation  and  that  of  the 
profession  at  large  would  be  more  grateful  to 
the  writer  than  any  tangible  and  therefore  trivial 
recompense." 

E:xouraged  by  the  action  of  the  Association. 


PREFATORY    REMARKS.  15 

both  at  the  sessions  of  1864  and  iS6^,  by  which 
it  showed  most  unmistakably  its  behef  that  re- 
searches hke  the  present  are  for  the  advance- 
ment of  science,  and  their  pubHcation  for  the 
welfare  of  the  race,  I  intrust  this  book  to  the 
wheel  of  fate.  Its  manuscript  has  already  passed 
through  one  trying  ordeal  with  a  certain  meas- 
ure of  success.  vSubmitted  to  the  touchstone  of 
the  Prize  Committee  of  the  Association  for  the 
present  year,  it  was  distanced  by  the  essays  of 
Drs.  Black  of  Ohio,  upon  the  Cause  of  Inter- 
mittent and  Remittent  Fevers,  and  Fallen  of 
Missouri,  upon  the  Treatment  of  certain  Abnor- 
mities'of  the  Uterus,  treating  as  these  did  of 
subjects  of  more  dii'ect  and  especial  interest  to 
the  medical  profession  ;  but  it  elicited  the  fol- 
lowing letter  from  the  distinguished  professor 
in  the  University  of  Maryland,  who  represented 
the  committee  as  its  chairman,  and  was,  of 
course,  unaware  of  the  identity  of  the  author, 
which  had  been  carefully  disguised  till  I  wrote 
to  reclaim  the  manuscript. 

"  Baltimore,  21st  May,  1867. 
"  Dear  Doctor  : 

"  I  have  read  your  essay  with  very  great  interest,  and 
hope  that  you  will  publish  it.  It  certainly  will  do  good. 
The  subject,  although  one  of  great  delicacy,  is  handled 
with  marked  ability.  The  whole  profession  ought  to 
fee.  grateful  to  you  for  your  efforts  to  check  the  fearful 


1 6  PREFATORY    REMARKS. 

amount  of  crime  in  relation  to  abortions.  Your  essay 
will,  I  have  no  doubt,  meet  with  the  general  approval 
of  the  Association. 

"Very  respectfully, 

"  F.  Donaldson. 
"Dr.  H.  R.  Storer,  Boston." 

Such  is  the  character  and  such  the  source  of 
the  above  indorsement,  which  was  wholly  un- 
solicited, that  I  consider  my  object  in  submitting 
the  essay  to  the  Committee  as  fully  gained. 


IS  IT  U 

A   BOOK   FOR   EVERY   MAN, 


I.  —  It  is  not  Good  to  be  Alone. 

As  stated  in  the  prefatory  remarks,  the  pres- 
ent essay  is  written,  and  is  intended  for,  the 
perusal  of  men.  It  is  not  impossible,  however, 
that  copies  of  it  may  fall  into  the  hands  of,  or 
be  shown  to,  individuals  of  the  other  sex.  The 
subject  upon  which  I  shall  speak,  itself  a  very 
delicate  one,  is  thus  rendered  still  more  dif- 
ficult to  treat.  Inasmuch,  however,  as  in  my 
work  upon  the  physical  evils  of  forced  abor- 
tions,* published  for  the  edification  of  women, 
under  the    authority   and   with    the    sanction   of 

*  Why  Not?  A  Book  for  Every  Woman.  Lee  & 
Shepard,  Boston. 

(in 


i8  IS  IT  I  r 

the  American  Medical  Association,  I  seem  to 
have  so  far  succeeded  in  the  duty  intrusted  to 
me  as  to  win  the  encomiums  of  many  of  the 
sterner  sex,  I  make  bold  to  strike  out  for  my- 
self a  similar  path,  let  me  hope,  to  the  con- 
viction and  betterment  of  all  my  readers.  If 
in  doing  this,  I  am  found  roughly  to  hew  down 
certam  old  branches  of  custom,  and  to  root  up 
summarily  certain  privileges  and  alleged  rights, 
usurped  rather  than  legitimately  granted,  it  is 
that  I  may  let  in  light  where  it  has  long  been 
needed,  that  I  may  remove  causes  of  offence 
from  the  road  of  life's  pilgrims,  and  widen  that 
way,  now  too  generally  trodden  in  single  file, 
even  where  wedlock  exists,  to  its  intended  dimen- 
sions, sufficient  for  two  to  pass,  side  by  side  and 
hand  in  hand ;  and  this  work,  for  humanity's 
sake,  I  shall  endeavor  to  do  without  fear  or 
favor. 

To  all  men  I  speak  —  the  young,  middle  aged, 
and  the  old ;  to  the  rich  and  to  the  poor ;  to  the 
gentle  and  the  unrefined  ;  to  the  single,  the  mar- 
ried, and  the  widower ;  to  the  happy  and  to  the 
miserable  ;  to  the  ardent  and  to  the  cold  ;  to  the 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  I9 

religious  and  to  the  blasphemer.  The  subject  is 
one  that  concerns  all,  for  it  lies  at  the  foundation 
of  society,  —  sexual  health  and  disease,  the  need 
or  advantage  of  marriage,  the  need  or  advantage 
of  divorce,  the  chance  of  home  being  such  or  an 
empty  name,  an  earthly  heaven,  or  a  worse  than 
purgatory,  —  these  are  topics  that  affect  each  man, 
however  careless  or  unconcerned  he  may  think 
himself,  or  may  appear  to  be.  Therefore  is  it 
that  I  am  sure  of  the  attention  of  the  continent, 
that  he  may  gain  still  greater  reason  for  self-con- 
trol ;  of  the  prurient,  for  the  very  title  of  my 
essay  will  serve  to  arrest  his  attention  ;  and  of 
the  brutish  man,  impelled  by  curiosity  to  learn 
upon  what  grounds  I  shall  condemn  him. 

Is  it  asked,  if  the  disclosures  that  I  shall  make 
are  not  by  their  very  publication  subversive  of 
good  morals,  and  the  calling  attention  to  the 
true  relation  of  the  sexes  suggestive  to  bad  men 
of,  and  conducive  towards,  their  false  relations? 
I  answer,  — 

First,    that    to    ignore    the    existence    of    sin, 
error,    misery,    is    in    reality   to    encourage    and 
to  increase  them.     It  is  like  walking  upon  thinly- 
?> 


20  IS    IT    If 

crusted  lava,  or  upon  breaking  ice,  certain  to 
prevent  our  saving  others,  ready  indeed  to  in- 
gulf even  ourselves.  We  varnish  over  or  seek 
to  conceal  vice,  and  it  loses  half  its  grossness  —  it 
becomes  attractive  perhaps,  or  fashionable  ;  but 
if  we  strip  it  of  its  veil,  any  soul,  not  wholly 
smirched,  will  recoil  with  horror. 

Again,  all  of  us  learn  the  lessons  of  life  by 
experience  —  sad  experience,  indeed,  it  too  often 
is.  Many  a  man  would  give  even  his  own  soul 
could  his  past  life  be  restored  to  him,  and  its 
follies,  its  sins  be  effaced.  Too  often  his  soul  is 
no  longer  his  own  to  give  :  inextricably  entangled 
in  passion's  web,  wound  about  and  about  \vith 
its  myriad  threads,  there  remains  but  the  dead 
and  worthless  semblance  of  himself,  that  can  be 
restored  by  nought  save  the  boundless  grace  of 
God.  Who  would  not  gladly  escape  such  risk, 
and  welcome  every  premonition  of  danger? 

Still  again,  many,  claiming  to  be  immaculate 
themselves,  will  ask,  "  Am  I  my  brotiier's  keep- 
er?" And  yet,  living  together  in  communities, 
as  we  do,  it  must  be  confessed  that  we  are  re- 
sponsible, every  one  of  us,  and  to   a  very  great 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAX.  21 

extent,  for  the  shortcomings  and  evil  deeds  or  all 
the  rest,  and  it  must  also  be  confessed  that  there 
does  not  exist,  that  there  probably  never  existed, 
a  perfectly  immaculate  man,  who  never  once  has 
erred  in  the  very  matter  we  are  now  consider- 
ing, either  in  deed,  or  in  word,  or  in  thought. 
Consoling  indeed  for  those  of  us  who  humbly 
confess  our  infirmities  is  this  very  fact.  Take 
the  very  basest  of  us,  and  he  at  times  is  con- 
scious of  vain  regrets  of  his  own  misdeeds,  and 
a  fond  desire  that  those  whom  he  loves,  for  ever}"- 
man  has  such,  may  be  better  than  he.  Take  the 
very  best  of  us,  and  he  sees  a  height  beyond  any 
he  has  yet  attained,  that  he  prays  he  may  yet 
reach  and  pass. 

And  further :  not  merely  are  researches,  such 
as  this  essay  is  founded  upon,  publications  for 
the  general  weal,  such  as  it  claims  to  be,  per- 
fectly legitimate  and  advisable  in  themselves ; 
they  have  been  sanctioned  by  precedents  that 
have  already  been  established.  I  do  not  refer  to 
the  attempts  of  unprincipled  empirics  to  terrify 
the  masses  by  overdrawn  pictures  of  disease,  nor 
of  holy  and  well-meaning  men   to   turn   them  to 


22  IS   IT    ir 

better  ways  by  fervent  descriptions  of  the  wrath 
to  come.  We  shall  take  neither  the  fear  of 
things  present  nor  future  as  our  standard  in  this 
discussion,  but  appeal  solely  to  each  man's  rea- 
son—  and  such  appeals  have  been  made  before. 
They  have  been  made  in  France  by  Ricord,  by 
Lallemand,  and  others  of  the  great  medical  philos- 
ophers of  the  day  ;  by  Pai-ent-Duchatelet  and  by 
Diday.  In  England,  tliere  are  men  like  Acton, 
who  dare  to  sound  the  trumpet  of  alarm,  bring- 
ing forward  their  facts  from  private  practice, 
from  the  hospital,  and  from  the  dead-house,  and 
drawing  from  these  indisputable  conclusions.  In 
our  own  country  there  are  men  like  those  brave 
souls,  now  one  of  them  at  least  translated  to  a  bet- 
ter country,  Blatchford,*  and  Hodge,  and  Pope, 
and  Barton,  and  Lopez,  and  Brisbane,  physicians 
of  the  very  highest  rank  in  their  profession,  who 
were  not  ashamed,  in  the  question  of  the  fre- 
quency and  the  ill  results  of  criminal  abortion,  to 

*  Dr.  Thomas  W.  Blatchford,  of  Troy,  N.  Y.,  died  on 
the  7th  of  January,  1866.  One  of  the  oldest  and  most 
influential  members  of  the  American  Medical  Associa- 
tion, he  was  beloved  h\  all  who  knew  him. 


A   BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  23 

take  stand  beside  me  upon  the  platform  of  our 
personal  knowledge,  and  knowing  they  dared 
maintain.  I  will  cite  but  one  instance  more.  It 
is  that  of  a  good  man  now  gone  to  his  rest,  and 
a  very  rock  he  was  to  the  swelling  tide  of  moral 
as  well  as  physical  evil  — the  late  Professor  John 
Ware,  of  Massachusetts.  His  little  work  on  a 
portion  only  of  the  topic  we  are  now  consider- 
ing,* has  stayed  many  a  headlong  step  and  saved 
many  a  soul  alive.  The  book  to  which  I  refer 
has,  however,  probably  obtained  but  a  limited  cir- 
culation compared  with  that  at  which  I  now  aim, 
and  its  author,  so  good  himself,  used  only  the 
gentle,  persuasive  eloquence  of  a  tongue  attuned 
by  Nature  to  peaceful  themes.  For  myself, 
accustomed  as  I  have  been  in  the  practice  of  my 
profession  in  the  especial  department  most  bear- 
ing upon  this  subject,  to  probe  humanity  to  its 
lowest  depths,  I  shall  not  hesitate  to  speak 
plainly  the  truth  as  it  is,  to  pile  argument  upon 
argument,  to  resort  to  invective  if  need  be,  ay, 
and  to  apply  the  lash,  till  every  man  who  reads 

*  Hints   to  Young  Men  on  the  True  Relation  of  the 
Sexes.     Boston,  1850. 


24  IS    IT    I? 

nie  stammers,  conscience-stricken  or  indignant, 
"  Is  it  I  ?  "  For,  one  of  themselves,  both  by  birth 
and  by  nature,  I  know  my  ground,  and  my 
answer  shall  be,  "  Thou  hast  said." 

I  shall  try,  I  have  stated,  while  speaking 
cogently,  to  keep  my  language  within  the  bounds 
of  the  strictest  decorum.  Treating  of  similar 
topics  with  Michelet  and  Jean  Jacques  Rous- 
seau, I  would  fain,  while  discussing  the  sphere, 
the  charms,  and  the  complaints  of  woman,  the 
force  and  the  claims  of  the  passion  of  love, 
whether  pure  or  illicit,  and  the  unalloyed,  un- 
redeemable evils  of  purely  selfish  gratification, 
escape  all  semblance  alike  of  approving  sensu- 
ality and  of  condemning  a  rational  yielding  to 
natural  laws  —  which  last,  as  I  shall  be  found  to 
define  it,  must  be  considered  a  far  difl;erent  thing 
from  the  lustful  appetite  of  a  satyr  or  the  nightly 
phantom  of  the  ascetic,  who  is  such  from 
cowardice  alone.  Composed  as  we  are,  in 
this  fleshly  "tabernacle,  of  many  a  member,  and 
many  an  adaptation  of  these  to  use,  combined  as 
one,  there  is  the  old,  old  combat  described  by  St. 
Paul,  —  our    instincts    warring   with    our   bettei 


A    BOOK    FOR    liVKKY    MAN.  25 

selves,  our  will  and  our  reason,  for  mastery.  To 
govern  a  slave,  and  govern  him  well,  one  need 
not  crucify  him.  To  govern  one's  self,  it  may  be 
necessary  severely  to  discipline,  but  not  always 
to  kill,  the  body  in  which  we  have  been  placed 
for  so  many  useful  ends.  To  use,  as  not  abusing 
ourselves  or  others,  is  but  collateral  to  the  rule 
called  "  golden  "  —  together  they  form  for  us  the 
safest  of  Creeds. 

All  men,  old  or  young,  seek  companionship. 
This  is  necessary  for  their  very  self-possession, 
both  in  body  and  in  mind  ;  and  the  companion- 
ship which  they  instinctively  seek,  as  truly  and 
as  unvaryingly  as  the  loadstar  seeks  its  pole,  is 
that  of  the  opposite  sex.  Where  this  special 
yearning  is  absent  or  has  never  existed,  there  is 
to  be  found,  always,  the  effect  of  disappointment 
or  of  disease.  The  disease,  if  such  is  present, 
may,  it  is  true,  have  been  self-occasioned,  but  the 
vessel  itself  was  either  improperly  built  for  the  ' 
voyage  of  life  or  was  stopped  in  its  course  by 
some  hidden  shoal :  it  has  foundered  or  been 
wrecked,  and  we  shall  find  that  in  by  far  the 
majority    of    cases   this   was    from    neglect    in 


26  IS    IT    1? 

obtaining  the   necessary   sailing    chails  or   from 
non-adjustment  of  the  compass. 

And  here  let  me  answer  in  advance  one 
question  that  would  undoubtedly  be  put  to  me 
by  every  one  of  my  readers,  Do  I  believe  in  fair- 
weather  sailing  alone  ?  in  hugging  the  shore,  and 
never  daring  to  put  to  sea?  Do  I  expect  that 
each  craft  should  be  so  stanch  as  to  defy  every 
wave  and  every  blast  of  danger?  I  do  neither. 
It  is  not  the  zephyr  that  calls  into  being  the 
sturdiness  of  the  oak,  nor  the  mere  heat  of  the 
sun  that  separates  from  the  dross  its  fine  gold. 
It  is  the  burning  that  causes  a  child  to  dread 
the  fire,  and  the  philosophy  that  learns  these 
things  tentatively,  and  not  from  chance,  is  not 
of  necessity  sheer  wickedness.  I  am  no  apolo- 
gist for  vice.  A  habit  of  evil  doing  is  one  thing, 
and  a  slip,  or  even  a  momentary  plunge  into  the 
mire,  is  a  very  different  thing.  The  last,  by  its 
very  taste  of  earth,  may  engender  a  longing,  else 
unknown,  for  heaven.  For  myself  I  have  little 
faith  in  passive  goodness ;  that  is,  in  us  men. 
Those  who  have  never  been  exposed  to  tempta- 
tion, from   staying  quietly  at  home   or  through 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  27 

accident  alone,  are  the  soonest  to  yield  if  the 
tempter  comes.  Having  never  tested  their 
strength,  they  find  it  but  w^eakness.  As  with 
eagles  reared  in  a  cage,  there  is  no  power  of 
wing.  It  is  the  fall  to  the  ground  from  the 
eyry,  and  the  often  disappointment  when  too 
fully  self-relying,  that  gives  the  force  of  pinion 
to  soar  to  the  highest  ether,  face  to  face  with 
nought  but  the  sun.  That  I  may  be  rightly 
understopd  upon  this  very  threshold  of  our  in- 
quiry, let  me  quote  a  few  lines  from  one  of  the 
most  thoughtful,  most  chaste,  and  most  accepted 
writers  of  the  present  day,  the  late  Rev.  Mr. 
Robertson,  of  England.  "  The  first  use,"  he 
says,  "  a  man  makes  of  every  power  and  talent 
given  to  him  is  a  bad  use.  The  first  time  a  man 
ever  uses  a  flail,  it  is  to  the  injury  of  his  own 
head  and  of  those  who  stand  around  him.  The 
fi.rst  time  a  child  has  a  sharp-edged  tool  in  his 
hand,  he  cuts  his  fingers.  But  this  is  no  reason 
why  he  should  not  be  ever  taught  to  use  a  knife. 
The  first  use  a  man  makes  of  his  affections  is  to 
sensualize  his  spirit.  Yet  he  cannot  be  ennobled 
except  through  those  very  affections.     The  first 


28  IS  IT  ir* 

time  a  kingdom  is  put  in  possession  of  liberty, 
the  result  is  anarchy.  The  first  time  a  man  is 
put  in  possession  of  intellectual  knowledge,  he 
is  conscious  of  the  approaches  of  sceptical  feel- 
ing. But  that  is  no  proof  that  liberty  is  bad, 
or  that  instruction  should  not  be  given.  It  is 
a  law  of  our  humanity  that  man  must  know  both 
good  and  evil  ;  he  must  know  good  through  evil. 
There  never  was  a  principle  but  what  triumphed 
through  much  evil ;  no  man  ever  progressed  to 
greatness  and  goodness  but  through  great  mis- 
takes." * 

These  remarks  apply  more  particularly  to 
the  young  man,  just  becoming  conscious  of  his 
newly-awakened  emotions  and  physical  powers. 
Should  he  be  viewed  and  treated  as  a  child, 
or  allowed  to  go  out  from  home  to  the  dangers 
of  the  world  ?  In  acquiescing,  as  a  general  rule, 
in  the  latter  course,  I  know  that  I  shall  shock 
the  sensibilities  and  prejudices  of  many  super- 
ficial observers.  Yet  Sydney  Smith  did  not 
hesitate  to  avow  a  similar  opinion.  "  Very  few 
young  men,"  acknowledges  the  reverend  gentle- 

*  Discourses,  &c.,  pp.  87,  88. 


I 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  29 

man,  "  have  the  power  of  negation  in  any  great 
degree  at  first.  Every  young  man  must  be  ex- 
posed to  temptation  ;  he  cannot  learn  the  w^ays 
of  men  without  being  witness  to  their  vices. 
If  you  attempt  to  preserve  him  from  dangei 
by  keeping  him  out  of  the  way  of  it,  you  render 
him  quite  unfit  for  any  style  of  life  in  which 
he  may  be  placed.  The  great  point  is,  not  to 
turn  him  out  too  soon,  and  to  give  him  a  pilot." 
He  must  be  taught  purity. 

There  is  no  doubt  that  in  very  many  children 
an  improper  tone  of  thought  is  established  even 
before  the  period  of  puberty,  unnatural  as  this 
must  be  allowed  to  be,  and  that  oftentimes  this 
sexual  precocity  is  induced  very  directly  by 
causes  within  our  control.  For  a  boy  in  our 
cities,  or  even  our  villages,  to  reach  his  teens 
without  learning  from  his  associates  or  by  obser- 
vation something  of  these  matters,  is  simply 
impossible.  It  is  for  us  to  see  to  it  that  he 
does  not  receive  the  idea  that  they  constitute 
the  whole  or  the  best  part  of  life.  ''  Remem- 
ber," says  Herbert  Spencer,  "  that  the  aim  of 
your   discipline    should    be    to    produce    a    self- 


30 


IS    IT    I, 


governing  l^eing,  not  to  produce  a  being  to  be 
governed  by  others.  As  your  children  are  by 
and  bye  to  be  free  men,  with  no  one  to  control 
their  daily  conduct,  you  cannot  too  much  accus- 
tom them  to  self-control  while  they  are  still 
under  your  eye.  Aim,  therefore,  to  diminish 
the  parental  government  as  fast  as  you  can  sub- 
stitute for  it  in  your  child's  mind  that  self- 
government  arising  from  a  foresight  of  results. 
All  ti-ansitions  are  dangerous,  and  the  most  dan- 
gerous is  the  transition  from  the  restraint  of  the 
family  circle  to  the  non-restraint  of  the  world. 
Hence  the  policy  of  cultivating  a  boy's  faculty 
of  self-restraint  by  continually  increasing  the 
degree  in  which  he  is  left  to  his  self-restraint, 
and  so  bringing  him,  step  by  step,  to  a  state  of 
unaided  self-restraint,  obliterates  the  ordinary  sud- 
den and  hazardous  change  from  externally  gov- 
erned youth  to  internally  governed  maturity."  * 

With  reference  to  this  point,  who  of  us  does 
not  agree  with  the  strictures  of  Acton  upon  the 
carelessness  or  prejudice  which  subjects  a  boy 
to  unnecessary  and  too  early  temptations,  sanc- 

*  Moral  Education,  p.  140. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  31 

tioning  perhaps  by  parental  advice  his  exposure 
to  the  wiliest  and  most  dangerous  of  foes,  his 
own  unbridled  imagination?  Humphrey  Clinker 
and  Roderick  Random  are  no  longer  to  be  found 
upon  the  family  book-shelf.  GrifTith  Gaunt,  and 
the  exciting  issues  of  the  modern  French  press, 
have  taken  their  place.  Lempriere,  Ovid,  and 
the  other  such  meat  for  strong  men,  are  put  into 
the  boy's  hands  with  an  expurgated  text.  What 
lad,  however,  who  has  not  been  tempted  to  ran- 
sack his  father's  library,  and  eveiy  other  col- 
lection of  books  within  his  reach,  in  the  hope 
of  finding  an  original  edition,  just  precisely  as  at 
a  certain  time  of  his  youth,  longer  or  shorter  as 
this  may  have  been,  he  has  found  himself  turning 
to  the  coai^sely  translated  and  sometimes  flagrant 
pages  of  the  Old  Testament,  rather  than  to  the 
chaste  and  ennobling  language  of  the  Gospels? 
"  It  has  often  surprised  me,"  writes  Acton,  * 
"  that  the  filthy  stories  of  the  loves  of  the  heathen 
mythology  should  have  been  so  generally  placed 
i-i  the  hands  of  lads.     In  such  works  the  youth 

*  Functions  and  Disorders  of  ihe  Reproductive  Or- 
gans, p.  3S. 


32 


IS  IT  I  r 


gloats  over  the  pleasures  which  the  heathen 
deities  are  supposed  to  have  indulged  in,  while 
his  imagination  runs  riot  amid  the  most  las- 
civious passages.  The  doctrine  laid  down  in 
these  volumes  seems  to  be,  that  lust  went  on 
unchecked,  that  it  was  attended  with  no  evil 
results,  either  physically  or  morally,  to  the  indi- 
vidual, or  to  the  society  in  which  such  scenes  are 
supposed  to  have  existed.  To  enable  him  to 
live  as  these  gods  of  old  are  supposed  to  have 
done,  with  what  companions  must  he  not  asso- 
ciate? He  reads  in  them  of  the  pleasures, 
nothing  of  the  penalties,  of  sexual  indulgence  ■ 
and  it  is  at  a  later  period  that  the  poor  school- 
boy is  first  to  learn  that  sexual  pleasure  is  not 
to  be  indulged  in  with  impunity.  He  is  not 
intuitively  aware  that,  if  the  sexual  desires  are 
excited,  it  will  require  greater  power  of  will 
to  master  them  than  falls  to  the  lot  of  most  l.ids ; 
that  if  indulged  in,  the  man  will  and  must  pay 
t  le  penalty  for  the  errors  of  the  boy ;  that  for 
one  that  escapes  ten  will  suffer ;  that  an  awful 
r!sk  attends  abnormal  substitutes  for  sexual  inter- 
course ;   and  that  self-indulgence,  long  pursue*!, 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  •.53 

tends  ultimately  to   early  death   or    self-destruc- 
tion." 

Thus  educated,  and  thus  vainly  imagining, 
a  large  proportion  of  our  boys  pass  from  child- 
hood into  youth,  with  the  preconceived  idea 
they  soon  find  apparently  confirmed  by  their 
own  sensations,  that  it  is  not  good  to  be  alone. 
Let  Kingsley  tell  us  what  is  but  too  often  the 
very  reasonable  result.  Lancelot  had  discovered 
"•  a  new  natural  object,  including  in  itself  all  — 
more  than  all  yet  found  beauties  and  wonders  — 
Woman,  What  was  to  be  expected  ?  Pleasant 
things  were  pleasant,  there  was  no  doubt  of  that, 
whatever  else  might  be  doubtful.  He  had  read 
Byron  by  stealth  ;  he  had  been  flogged  into 
reading  Ovid  and  Tibullus,  and  commanded  by 
his  private  tutor  to  read  Martial  and  Juvenal  for 
the  improvement  of  his  style.  All  conversation 
on  the  subject  of  love  had  been  prudishly 
avoided,  as  usual,  by  his  parents  and  teacher. 
The  parts  of  the  Bible  which  spoke  of  it  had 
been  kept  out  of  his  sight.  Love  had  been 
to  him,  practically,  ground  tabooed  and  carnal. 
What  was  to  be  expected?    Just  what  happened. 


34 


IS    IT    I? 


If  woman's  beauty  had  notiiing  holy  in  it,  why 
should  his  fondness  for  it?  Just  what  happens 
every  day  —  that  he  had  to  sow  his  wild  oats  for 
himself,  and  eat  the  fruit  thereof,  and  the  dirt 
thereof  also."  * 

"  Here,  then,"  says  Acton,  "  is  our  problem  : 
A  natural  instinct,  a  great  longing,  has  arisen  in 
a  boy's  heart,  together  with  the  appearance  of 
the  powers  requisite  to  gratify  it.  Everything, 
the  habits  of  the  world,  the  keen  appetite  of 
youth  for  all  that  is  new,  the  example  of  com- 
panions, the  pride  of  health  and  strength,  oppor- 
tunity, all  combine  to  urge  him  to  give  the  rein 
to  what  seems  a  natural  propensity.  The  boy 
does  not  know  that  to  his  immature  frame  every 
sexual  indulgence  is  unmitigated  evil.  He  does 
not  think  that  to  his  inexperienced  mind  and 
heart  every  illicit  pleasure  is  a  degradation,  to  be 
bitterly  regretted  hereafter;  a  link  in  a  chain  that 
does  not  need  many  to  be  too  strong  to  break."  f 
The  only  answer  to  this  problem  is  for  the  boy 
to  learn  to  possess  his  soul  in  patience,  and 
through  example  and  advice,  and  earnest,  prayer 

*  Yeist,  p.  3.  f  Loc.  cit.,  p.  46. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  35 

fill  efibrt,  to  compel  his  own  self-control,  till  he 
attains  that  full  and  complete  development  of 
all  his  powers  that  distinguishes  the  man.  How 
small  the  proportion  of  all  my  readers  who  can 
lay  their  hands  upon  their  hearts  and  say,  with 
perfect  truthfulness,  that  up  to  the  time  of  reach- 
ing their  majority  they  had  never,  for  the  sake 
of  selfish  or  illicit  gratification,  been  guilty  of 
any  offence  against  purity  ! 

With  these  reflections,  which  are  not  of  a 
character  to  make  us  particularly  self-confident 
or  vainglorious,  I  approach  the  second  chapter 
of  my  task. 

II.  —  Marriage  as  a  Sanitary  Measure. 

Having  now  shown  that  while  it  is  natural  for 
young  men  to  be  impelled  towards  women  by  an 
instinctive  yearning,  this  is  not  unfrequently  pre- 
maturely excited,  I  proceed  briefly  to  call  atten- 
tion to  its  evil  effects,  in  many  instances,  both 
upon  the  individual  and  upon  society.  I  cannot 
do  better,  in  commencing  my  remarks  upon  this 
subject,   than  to   quote    a  few  words   from   Dr 


36  IS    IT    I.'' 

Ware.  ''  Unhappily  fur  the  young,  a  just  and 
elevated  view  of  the  relation  of  man  to  woman 
is  forestalled  by  impressions  of  a  totally  diiFerent 
sort,  early  made  and  deeply  rooted.  Among  the 
first  lessons  which  boys  learn  of  their  fellows  are 
impurities  of  language,  and  these  are  soon  fol- 
lowed by  impurities  of  thought.  Foul  words  are 
hi  use  among  them  before  they  can  actually  com- 
prehend their  origin,  or  attach  to  them  any 
definite  meaning. 

"Most  men  who,  when  young,  have  been  in 
the  habit  of  unreserved  communication  with  oth- 
ers of  their  own  sex,  will  recognize  the  truth  of 
this  statement.  Happy  is  he  who  can  look  back 
upon  no  such  recollections  ;  happy  is  he,  the 
surface  of  whose  mind  does  not  bear  upon  it, 
through  life,  stains  which  were  impressed  thereon 
by  the  corrupt  associations  and  the  corrupt  habits 
of  youth  ;  happy  indeed  is  he  if  the  evil  have 
not  eaten  into  the  soul  itself,  and  left  behind  it 
such  marks  of  its  corrosion  as  neither  time  nor 
even  repentance  can  ever  obliterate.  When  this 
is  the  training  of  boyhood,  it  is  not  strange  that 
the  predominating  ideas   among  young  men,   in 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  37 

relation  to  the  other  sex,  are  too  often  tliose  of 
impurity  and  sensuality.  Nor  is  this  evil  con- 
fined to  large  cities,  though  it  there  manifests 
itself  more  distinctly  in  open  and  undisguised 
licentiousness,  and  in  the  illicit  commerce  of  the 
sexes.  It  equally  exists  in  the  most  secluded  vil- 
lages in  the  corruption  of  die  thoughts  and  lan- 
guage, and  in  modes  of  indulgence,  which,  if  less 
obvious  and  remai-ked,  are  not,  therefore,  the  less 
dangerous  to  moral  purity. 

"We  cannot  be  surprised,  then,  that  the  his- 
toiy  of  most  young  men  is,  that  they  yield  to 
temptation  in  a  greater  or  less  degree  and  in 
different  ways.  With  many,  no  doubt,  the  indul- 
gence is  transient,  accidental,  and  does  not  be- 
come habitual.  It  does  not  get  to  be  regarded 
as  venial.  It  is  never  yielded  to  without  remorse. 
The  wish  and  the  purpose  is  to  resist,  but  the 
animal  nature  bears  down  the  moral ;  still  trans- 
gression is  always  followed  by  grief  and  repent- 
ance. With  too  many,  however,  it  is  to  be 
feared,  it  is  not  so.  The  mind  has  become  de- 
bauched by  the  dwelling  of  the  imagination  on 
liccp.tious   i  nagcs,   and   by   indulgence   in   licen- 


38 


IS    IT    I 


tious  conversation.  There  is  no  wish  to  resist. 
They  are  not  overtaken  by  temptation,  for  they 
seek  it.  With  them  the  transgression  becomes 
habitml,  and  the  stain  on  the  character  is  deep 
and  lasting.  The  prevailing  sentiment  of  the 
mind,  the  prevailing  tendency  of  the  will,  is  to 
sensual  vices ;  and  there  are  no  vices  which  so 
deeply  contaminate  the  soul  of  man,  so  degi'ade, 
so  brutalize  it,  as  these.  The  degree  of  debase- 
ment has  in  some  men,  even  in  some  communi- 
ties, I'eached  so  low  as  to  suggest  modes  of  in- 
dulging this  appetite  from  which  the  common 
sensualist  shrinks  with  horror,  and  which  cannot 
be  even  named  without  loathing."  * 

These  statements  must  be  acknowledged  by 
every  honest  man  to  be  true,  and  it  is  therefore 
needless  to  adduce  probatory  evidence.  Viewing 
the  matter,  as  I  do,  from  a  professional  stand- 
point, it  becomes  necessary  for  me  to  discuss 
methods  of  preventing  habits  as  shameful  as  they 
are  injurious  to  physical  and  mental  and  moral 
health,  and  sorrows  that  are  but  too  often  irre- 
mediable.     Foremost  among  these  methods,  —  I 

*  Hints  to  Young  Men,  Sic,  p.  36. 


A   BOOK   FOR    EVERY    MAN.  39 

shall  speak  of  it  more  particularly  as  a  sanitary 
measui-e,  —  will  be  found  Marriage. 

In  thus  summarily,  perhaps  even  roughly,  re- 
ferring to  the  most  important  of  all  human  rela- 
tions, I  shall,  I  doubt  not,  again  shock  certain 
sensitive  minds.  In  these  delicate  matters,  how- 
ever, it  is  best  to  be  frank  and  plain.  At  one 
time  of  his  life  or  another,  every  man,  selfish  or 
generous-hearted  as  he  may  be,  delicate  or  brutal 
his  nature,  looks  forward  to  marriage  :  not  as  a 
spiritual  blending  of  two  souls  in  one  merely, 
not  as  a  self-sacrificing  means  of  making  some 
woman  supremely  happy,  nor  in  fulfilment  of  a 
supposed  duty  to  leave  children  behind  him,  the 
latter  being  very  generally  considered  too  old- 
fashioned  doctrine  for  these  days,  but  as  the 
means  of  gratifying  certain  instinctive,  and  there- 
fore natural,  although  so  often  condemned  as 
carnal,  bodily  desires,  and  thei-eby,  as  many 
will  not  hesitate  to  acknowledge,  was  their  own 
purpose  in  marrying,  of  keeping  himself  in  the 
better  physical  health.  I  would  not  be  thought 
to  believe  that  such  selfish  motives,  low  ones 
they   may  very   properly  be  called,   actuate   the 


40 


IS  IT  ir 


majority  of  mankind.  Many  are  governed  by  sor- 
did considerations,  others  by  platonic,  and  still 
others  by  very  romance.  Through  almost  every 
marriage,  however,  there  runs  this  thread  of  in- 
stinct, more  or  less  strongly  marked,  more  or 
less  distinctly  recognized,  at  times  indeed  delib- 
erately woven  in,  and  according  as  one  or  the 
other  of  these  conditions  obtains,  so  is  it  gener- 
ally that  the  after  and  relative  life  of  the  parties 
is  decided. 

Let  us  grant,  to  save  time,  what  I  have  already 
assumed,  that  it  is  natural  for  man  to  long  for 
woman,  and  thus  yearning,  to  seek  her  ;  and  that, 
constituted  as  they  both  are,  the  one  recipro- 
cally for  the  other,  not  for  the  world's  purposes 
of  population  alone,  but  for  imparting  to  and 
receiving  from  each  other  the  most  exquisite  of 
physical  sensations,  it  was  intended  by  the  Crea- 
tor that,  like  every  other  function,  those  pertain- 
ing to  this  most  intimate  acquaintance  should 
also  occasionally  be  allowed  gratification.  The 
question  now  confronts  us.  How  is  this  possible  ? 
How  can  mei  lead  manly  lives,  fulfilling  all  the 
purposes  foi    which    they  were   constructed  and 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  4I 

for  which  they  were  born,  and  _yet  avoid  infrin- 
ging upon  the  rights  or  the  happiness  of  others  ? 

To  this  question  a  variety  of  answers  have 
been  given.  Of  late  years,  many  have  advocated 
the  so-called  doctrine  of  Free-love,  in  accordance 
with  which,  by  some  alleged  process  of  elective 
affinity,  every  positive  would  seek  its  negative, 
every  male  its  female,  and  this  whether  or  no  each 
of  the  parties  were  already  legally  the  propert}'^ 
of  some  other  person.  Subversive  as  such  views, 
if  allowed,  would  prove  of  all  domestic  unions, 
and  therefore  of  the  peace  of  society,  their  in- 
terested advocates  have  found  many  proselytes. 
Many  more  still  carry  into  constant  practice  what 
thev  would  be  ashamed,  or  would  not  dare  open- 
ly to  acknowledge. 

The  views  now  referred  to  are  as  repulsive  to 
the  best  sense  of  mankind  as  are  those  by  which 
Mormonism  is  supported.  In  the  one  instance, 
a  man  professes  to  satisfy  himself  with  one  mis- 
tress, though  he  may  possibly  be  conducting 
amours,  at  the  same  time,  secretly,  with  a  dozen ; 
in  the  other,  he  openly  surrounds  himself  with 
concubines,  much  as  in  the  Eastern  seraglio,  save 


42 


IS    IT    I 


that  with  the  Latter  Day  Saints,  the  compara- 
tively better  education  and  intelHgence  of  the 
women,  however  deficient  these  may  practically 
be,  render  it  advisable  to  invest  the  sealing  witli 
a  sen  blance  of  religious  authority,  at  once  to 
prevent  rapine  by  other  men  and  quarrels  among 
the  women,  however  impossible  this  last  may  be 
to  accomplish.  In  both  cases,  the  Mormon  and 
the  amative  socialist  take  to  themselves  a  lion's 
share  ;  like  some  of  the  carnivora,  who  seem  to 
kill  for  the  mere  pleasure  of  destruction,  or  who 
slake  their  thirst  by  a  mere  draught  of  their  vic- 
tim's blood  and  then  discard  the  disfigured  car- 
cass, so  useless  to  them,  these  men  play  with 
their  toys  for  a  while  and  then  throw  them  aside, 
heart-broken,  dishonored.  So  nearly  are  the 
sexes  balanced  in  number,  nominally,  that  were 
it  not  for  disturbances  of  the  equipoise  by  emi- 
gration, the  prevention  of  pregnancy,  its  crimi- 
nal subversion  and  the  like,  by  the  time  men  and 
women  have  reached  a  suitable  age  they  would 
stand  very  nearly  one  woman  to  one  man.  At 
birth,  in  almost  every  country,  the  males  very 
slightly  predomi    ate,  being  usually  some  five  or 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  43 

six  in  excess  to  each  hundred  children  born  liv- 
ing. There  ai^e  greater  dangers  to  the  infant  in 
male  than  in  female  births,  the  boy  averaging 
a  little  the  larger,  and  therefore  its  body,  and  more 
particularly  its  brain,  being  subjected  to  a  gi eater 
and  more  prolonged  pressure.  Thus  it  is  that 
more  boys  than  girls  are  born  dead,  and  that 
more  boys  than  girls  die  during  infanc}'  and 
early  childhood,  their  nervous  sj'Stem  not  having 
entirely  recovered  from  the  comparatively  greater 
shock  to  which  it  had  been  exposed.  If  then 
but  one  woman  actually  belongs  to  each  man  in 
a  properly  balanced  community,  what  right  has 
he  to  a  second  or  more  ? 

To  this  argument  wilt  be  opposed  the  state- 
ments, that  like  other  male  mammalia,  every  man 
is  physically  competent  to  conjugally  care  for  an 
almost  indefinite  number  of  women,  and  that  the 
normal  proportion  of  the  sexes  is  already  dis- 
turbed by  the  large  number  of  both  who  volun- 
tarily remain  single,  and  of  both  who,  released 
from  an  earlier  bond  by  divorce  or  death,  marry 
for  a  second,  a  third,  or  even  a  fourth  time,  and 
by   the   comparatively  earlier   death   or   decrepi- 


44  IS  IT  ir 

tilde,  ou  the  large  scale,  of  females.  Upon  the 
other  hand,  a  man's  possible  uxorious  ability  is, 
and  should  be,  no  gauge  of  what  it  is  advisaole 
for  him  to  undertake  or  to  perform.  Even  in 
wedlock  it  is  too  often  the  case  that  men  liken 
themselves  in  practice  to  the  most  bestial  of  the 
lower  animals,  and  to  their  wives  are  the  most 
exacting  and  cruel  of  tyrants.  The  plea  of 
merely  yielding  to  the  impulses  of  a  pure  affec- 
tion is  used  but  too  often  to  sanction  the  vilest 
debauchery,  for  a  man,  if  he  choose,  may  make 
a  brothel  of  his  own  nuptial  bed.  As  to  plural 
marriages,  confining  that  term  to  instances  where 
the  unions  are  successive  and  legalh-  solemnized, 
there  Is  a  doubt  whether  as  many,  if  not  more, 
women  are  not  married  a  second  time  than  men ; 
and  as  to  the  comparative  mortality  of  the  sexes, 
it  is  gradually  becoming  the  way  of  physicians 
to  study  invalid  women  more  closely  and  more 
accurately  than  was  formerly  the  custom,  and  as 
a  very  natui'al  consequence,  much  oftener  to  cui'C 
them,  so  that  the  comparative  death  rates  are 
gradually  assuming  a  relation  more  favorable  to 
women  than  to    nen,  especially  if  we  allow  for 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  45 

the  greater  liabilit}'  of  the  hitter  to  accident  and 
other  exposure.  It  will  be  noticed  that  the  death 
rate,  comparative  or  positive,  of  a  country  is  a 
very  different  thing  from  its  birth  rate,  and  this 
again  from  the  fecundity  of  its  population,  —  that 
is  to  say,  the  rate  of  its  annual  increase,  —  sub- 
jects all  of  them  of  great  interest,  both  to  pi-ofes- 
sional  and  to  non-professional  men  ;  the  latter  of 
them  particularly  so  to  us  in  our  present  inquiry, 
as  will  hereafter  be  seen.  I  may  mention,  in  this 
connection,  that  results  of  two  elaborate  series  of 
observations  in  our  own  country,  made  from  dif- 
ferent points  of  view,  but  very  coincident  in 
their  conclusions,  have  been  published  by  two 
of  the  members  of  the  American  Medical  Asso- 
ciation, namely.  Dr.  Nathan  Allen,  of  Lowell,* 
and  myself.f  Not  satisfied  with  bringing  the  sub- 
ject before  my  own  profession,  I  have  endeav- 
ored to  fix  the  attention  of  the  scientific  world 
•upon  the  statistics  that  have  been  presented,  more 
especially  by  an  article  upon  the  subject  in  the 

*  Report  of  the  Massachusetts  Board  of  State  Chari- 
ties, 1867,  p.  19. 

t  Criminal  Abortion  in  America.  Philadelphia,  i860, 
p.  14;  Nqrth  Am.  Med.  Chir.  Review,  Mar.  1859,  P-  260. 


46  IS    IT    I? 

March  number  of  the  leading  scientific  journal 
of  this  country.* 

To  return.  Other  answers  than  those  yet 
indicated  have  been  made  to  the  main  question 
that  I  have  propounded.  Prostitution,  even  to 
the  extent  of  a  public  and  legal  license,  just  as 
obtains  in  many  of  the  large  cities  of  Europe, 
has  even  in  our  own  country  its  avowed  and 
honest  advocates,  and  by  this  I  mean  far  other 
advocates  than  lewd  and  licentious  men.  An 
engineer  may  study  and  direct  systems  of  sew- 
erage, and  yet  neither  desire,  nor  allow  him- 
self to  attend  to  the  details  of  their  management. 
I  do  not  mean,  however,  to  open  the  very  inter- 
esting and  important  problem  here  involved,  al- 
though it  is  one  to  which  I  have  given  much 
personal  attention,  both  abroad  and  at  home. 
Suffice  it  merely  to  say,  that  as  a  safety  valve 
to  the  latent  brutality  and  vice  always  heaving 
and  raging  beneath  the  surface  in  great  crowds 
of  men,  and  to  prevent,  by  frequent  and  author- 
itative inspection  of  the  unfortunates,  led  by  cir- 

*  American  Journal  of  Science  and  Art.  New  Ha- 
ven, March,  1867,  P-  i4i- 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  47 

cumstances  far  oftener  than  by  inclination  to 
pander  to  the  unbridled  instincts  of  man's  lower 
nature,  the  so  frequent  importation  of  the  lech- 
er's contagion  into  his  household,  setting  its 
■nark  upon  his  innocent  partner,  if  not  also 
upon  her  ofispring,  there  is  much  to  be  said 
in  favor  of  the  restricted  license  referred  to.* 
Upon  the  other  hand,  what  more  horrid  thought 
to  man's  pui'e  companion,  or  to  him  with  ref- 
erence to  all  others  than  himself!  I  do  not 
here  say  that  any  restricted  license  like  that  al- 
luded to  has  my  own  approval,  although  I  am 
not  sure  but  that  of  two  evils  it  may  prove 
the  least.  My  question  was.  How  can  natural 
instincts  reasonably  be  gratified  without  infrin- 
ging upon  the  rights  and  happiness  of  others? 
By  prostitution,  even  taking  so  plausible  an 
exception  as  that  of  the  French  grisette,  the 
woman's  happiness,  certainly  her  highest  happi- 
ness, is  endangered,  if  not  assuredly  wrecked  ; 
and  I  here   take    into   account,   that  in  France, 

*  For  remarks  pertinent  to  the  above,  see  editorials 
in  the  New  York  Medical  Record,  February,  1S67,  p.  550, 
and  in  the  Philadelphia  Medical  and  Surgical  Reporter, 
for  the  same  mouth,  p.  137. 


48  IS    IT    I? 

SO  peculiar  are  certain  phases  of  society  there, 
the  pubHc  woman,  after  years  of  shameless  s:".'.e 
of  herself,  often  retires  upon  a  competency,  to 
marry  and  to  lead  a  blameless  life,  and  that  in 
England,  the  common  drabs  from  the  gutter, 
transported  to  distant  colonies,  and  sent  into  the 
bush,  find  themselves  at  a  premium,  marry,  and 
have  fanned  into  a  flame  the  spark  of  virtue  that 
may  still  have  lurked  in  their  bosoms.  The 
same  is  true,  to  a  more  limited  extent,  of  some 
of  our  own  outlying  territories  and  states. 

That  I  have  referred  to  such  a  topic  as  the 
above,  was  requisite  in  order  that  I  might  ap- 
proach properly  certain  matters  we  have  still  to 
discuss  together.  When  sanctioned,  as  it  has 
been  by  the  study  and  outspoken  convictions 
of  no  less  a  person  than  Florence  Niglitingale, 
who,  stainless  herself,  is  yet  said  to  acknowledge 
certain  necessities  in  the  conduct  of  armies  and 
the  care  of  camps,  no  further  apology  upon 
my  part  is  required. 

And  such  I  take  it  is  the  case  also  with  the 
last  of  the  answers  to  which  I  shall  at  present 
refer,  the  still  more  terrible  and  destructive  cus- 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  49 

torn  of  self-indulgence,  that  solitary  sin  that  has 
hurried  so  many  men  to  the  madhouse  and  to  the 
grave.  To  this  I  need  but  allude,  for  hardly  the 
person  exists  who  does  not  know,  from  expe- 
rience or  from  observation,  its  blighting  effects. 
With  the  prudery  which  prevents  the  parent 
from  cautioning  h  s  son,  or  the  physician  his 
patient,  from  this  violation  of  every  natural  in- 
stinct and  every  physiological  law,  I  have  not 
the  slightest  patience.  Enfeebling  to  the  body, 
enfeebling  to  the  mind,  the  incarnation  of  selfish- 
ness, it  effaces  from  its  victim  his  fondness  for 
the  other  sex,  unfits  him  for  true  love,  and 
likens  him  in  very  fact  to  that  embodied  concen- 
tration of  all  man's  frailties,  devoid  of  all  the 
apparent  virtues  of  animals  still  lower  in  the 
scale,  the  ape.  And  yet,  it  must  be  acknowl- 
edged, that  this  baleful  habit,  like  the  kindred 
self-indulgence,  inebriety,*  is   in  many  instances 

*  To  the  million,  drunkards  themselves,  or  with 
drunkards  in  their  family,  the  concise  and  philosophical 
treatise  upon  Methomania,  just  published  by  Dr.  Albert 
Day,  :hen  of  Boston,  and  now  Superintendent  of  the 
New  York  State  Inebriate  Asylum  at  Binghamton,  will 
be  fo;md  to  conve  ,  with  conviction,  much  comfort  and 
hope. 


50  IS    IT    I." 

the  result  not  of  vice,  but  of  disease.  The  con- 
gestion of  hcemorrhoids,  the  presence  of  ascarides 
in  the  rectum,  the  existence  of  constipation,  are 
all  of  them  agencies,  which,  by  their  reflex  irri- 
tation, determining  an  abnormal  excess  of  blood 
to  the  parts,  and  inducing  a  state  of  hyperes- 
thesia, or  undue  nervous  excitability,  may  give 
rise  to  procedures  which,  in  the  same  individual, 
at  other  and  more  healthful  seasons,  would  cause 
for  him  but  the  most  revolting  disgust. 

Such  being  the  case,  and  I  may  consider  it  as 
frankly  acknowledged  by  my  readers  to  be  true, 
we  are  prepared  to  look  more  calmly  at  Mar- 
riage as  a  sanitary  measure,  and  to  see  whether 
or  no  it  is  for  this  reason  to  be  resorted  to  or 
advised. 

Every  man  knows  that  when  the  sexual 
passion  has  once  been  aroused  and  gratified, 
it  can  never  afterwards  be  put  entirely  at  rest, 
even  by  the  hermit  in  his  cell.  It  is  asserted  by 
certain  writers,  rather,  however,  upon  theoret- 
ical than  practical  grounds,  that  such  passion 
inay  always,  with  compai'ative  ease,  be  con- 
quereJ,  by    sheer    force    of  will.      To    insure    a 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  5 1 

peaceful  life,  it  should  undoubtedly  be  van- 
quished ;  but  few  feel  at  first  this  necessity,  and 
fewer  still  have  the  required  mental  or  moral 
strength.  The  confessions  that  are  made  to 
every  physician  prove  this.  "  The  incontinent 
man,"  says  Acton,  "  is  indulging  a  servant,  who, 
if  he  becomes  a  master,  will  be  what  Cicero 
called  him,  a  furious  taskmaster.  The  slave 
of  his  passions  has  no  easy  life.  Nay,  life  itself 
may  be  in  danger.  Often  the  patient  falls  a 
victim  to  sexual  misery.  The  sexual  feeling 
has  caused  many  a  suicide  ;  it  has  made  many 
a  misanthrope  ;  many  are  the  cells  now  peopled 
uy  single  men,  who,  unable  to  control  their  feel- 
ings, have  sought  the  monastery  as  an  alleviation 
of  their  sufferings,  and  there  found  it  in  fasting, 
penance,  and  prayer."  * 

And  again.  "  If  a  man  wished  to  undergo  the 
acutest  sexual  suffering,  he  could  adopt  no  more 
certain  method  than  to  be  incontinent  with  the 
intention  of  becoming  continent  again  '  when  he 
had  sown  his  wild  oats.'    The  agony  of  breaking 

*  l.oc.  cit.,  p.  57. 


52 


IS    IT    If 


off  a  habit  which  so  rapidly  entwines  itself  with 
eveiy  fibre  of  the  human  frame,  is  such  that  it 
would  not  be  too  much  to  say  to  any  >oung  man 
commencing  a  career  of  vice,  '  You  ai-e  going 
a  road  on  which  you  will  never  turn  back.  You 
had  better  stop  now.'  "  * 

The  Catholic  Church  has  always  recognized 
the  tortures  :o  often  accompanying  a  single  life, 
when,  exposed  to  temptation,  as  every  man  oc- 
casionally is,  he  endeavors  to  presei"\'e  himself 
therefrom.  "  Our  strength  is  like  the  strength 
of  tow  thrown  into  the  fire ;  it  is  instantly  burned 
and  consumed.  Would  it  not  be  a  miracle  if 
tow  cast  into  the  fire  did  not  burn?  It  would 
also  be  a  miracle  if  we  exposed  ourselves  to  the 
occasion  and  did  not  fall."  According  to  St. 
Bernardine  of  Sienna,  "  It  is  a  greater  miracle 
not  to  fall  in  the  occasion  of  sin  than  to  raise 
a  dead  man  to  life."  And  thus  quaintly  and 
forcibly  concludes  the  learned  translator  of 
Bishop  Liguori,  "  Do  not  allow  your  daughters 
to   be   taught   letters   by  a    man,  though    he   be 

*  Loc.  cit.,  p.  56. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAX.  53 

a  St.  Paul  or  St.  Francis  of  Assissium.  The 
saints  are  in  heaven."  *  Moreover,  it  is  a  rule 
of  that  church  that  applicants  for  the  priesthood 
should  be  fully  formed  and  virile  ;  for  although 
priests  are  requii"ed  to  observe  a  moral  eunuch- 
ism, still  they  must  have  the  merit  of  resistance 
to  the  thorn  in  the  flesh  to  obtain  the  palm  of 
recompense.! 

I  do  not,  of  course,  imply,  nor  do  I  believe, 
that  the  great  majority  of  unmarried  men  are 
habitually  addicted  to  immoral  practices,  but  that 
a  very  great  proportion  of  them,  in  curbing  their 
desires  and  keeping  themselves  under  due  sub- 
jection, undergo  a  frequent  and  severe,  however 
unsuspected,  martyrdom,  is  a  fact  that  cannot  be 
gainsaid. 

In  speaking,  as  I  have  done,  of  certain  alter- 
natives that  are  extensively  adopted  instead  of 
marriage,  namely,  the  resorting  to  houses  of  iJl- 
hune  and  self-abuse,  I  have  merely  mentioned 
the  fact.  I  have  not  dwelt  upon  the  risks,  and 
frightful  risks  they  are,  accompanying  both  these 

*  Instructions    on    the    Commandments    and    S?cra- 
ments,  pp.  154,  173. 
t  Acton,  p.  192. 


:;4  IS    IT    1? 

measures.  The  lurid  halo  surroundi.  g  the 
strange  woman,  attracting  men,  as  it  were,  by 
its  very  dangers,  like  moths  fluttering  about  the 
candle  that  is  to  prove  their  destruction,  has 
been  commented  upon  through  the  centuries 
by  writers  sacred  and  profane.  It  has  remained, 
however,  for  modern  science  to  prove,  what  had 
long  been  suspected,  that  the  venereal  lues  re- 
sulting from  unclean  intercourse,  is,  in  one  of  its 
forms  at  least,  a  disease  at  times  wholly  ineradi- 
cable from  the  system,  and  transmissible  in  all 
its  virulence  to  children's  children.*  Were  phy- 
sicians to  reveal  to  the  unsuspecting  victims  of 
man's  treachery  or  early  backslidings,  whom  they 
are  called  upon  to  treat  in  the  upper  walks  of 
life,  the  actual  character  and  history  of  many 
of  their  diseases,  there  would  indeed  be  weep- 
ings and  wailings  and  gnashing  of  teeth.  In 
the  absence  of  supervision,  medical  inspection, 
and  the  license  of  public  women,  the  chances  are 
greatly  in  favor  of  the  existence  in  those  poor 
fallen  ones  of  contagious  disease,  which,  remain- 
ing  latent    in    man's    system,   or    directly    trans- 

*  Bumstead.     Pathology  and  Treatment  of  Venereal 
Diseases. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.-  55 

planted  to  his  home,  may  wreck  all  his  hopes 
of  future  happiness.  "  Nothing  tends  more  cer- 
tainly to  wither  the  energies  of  youth  and  blast 
the  hopes  of  manhood.  It  is  not  merely  that  the 
mind  is  polluted ;  the  body  is  enervated.  A 
thousand  forms  of  disease  may  hang  round  the 
victim,  embitter  his  existence,  or  destroy  his 
hopes  in  life,  which  he  never  imagines  to  have 
had  such  an  origin.  But  even  farther  than  this  : 
Providence  seems  to  have  stamped  this  vice  with 
more  than  its  ordinary  token  of  displeasure,  by 
rendering  its  votaries  liable  to  that  terrible  dis- 
ease from  which  so  few  of  them  ultimately 
escape.  The  effects  of  this  disease,  as  is  well 
known,  are  not  always  to  be  eradicated.  They 
are  not  confined  to  present  suffering.  They  may 
set  a  mark  upon  a  man  as  indelible  as  that 
of  Cain.  They  may  cling  to  him  through  life, 
may  destroy  his  health,  undermine  his  constitu- 
tion, hasten  his  death,  —  may  even  terminate  in 
disfigurement  and  mutilation.  Nay,  they  may 
even  so  taint  his  blood  as  to  descend  to  his  very 
offspring,  and  inflict  upon  another  generation  the 
fearful  consequences  of  his  transgression."  * 
*  Ware.     Loc.  cit.,  p.  43. 


56  IS    IT    I? 

The  dangers  environing  those  accustomed  to 
consort  with  harlots  exist  to  ahnost  the  same 
degree  where  a  single  private  mistress  is  em- 
ployed. To  say  nothing  of  the  expense  of  sup- 
porting such,  usually  much  greater  than  that  of 
honestly  building  a  family,  there  must  always 
exist  the  fact  that  the  woman  who  permits  one 
man  to  unla  vfully  use  her  will  be  very  likely  to 
grant  similar  favors  to  his  friend  or  any  one  else 
who  may  please  her  fancy  or  offer  her  her  price  ; 
and  then  comes  the  chance  of  her  receiving  and 
imparting  disease. 

Many  men  think  that  all  such  risk  is  avoided 
in  the  case  of  deliberate  seduction.  Such,  how- 
ever, is  by  no  means  always  the  case.  The  pop- 
ular spread  of  physiological  knowledge  has  been 
productive  of  many  unforeseen  results.  Many- 
women,  as  well  as  many  men,  imagine  that  by 
the  observance  of  certain  precautions  they  can  do 
as  they  please  with  a  friend  without  possible 
chance  of  discovery ;  the  result  of  all  which 
is,  that,  in  many  instances  of  intercourse  with 
supposed  virgins,  the  biter  is  sorely  bitten,  and 
repents  him   at  his  leisure.     Where  true  seduc- 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  57 

t.ion  is  effected,  not  only  is  the  offender  oppressed 
by  a  life-long  sense  of  the  wrong  he  has  done, 
but  he  must  also  feel  that  the  prize  thus  unfairly 
gained  is  liable  at  any  moment  to  slip  from  his 
grasp,  or  to  prove  to  him  the  veriest  apple  of 
Sodom. 

Thus  disappointed,  or  thus  fearing,  many,  even 
of  adult  age,  resort  to  what  is  physiologically  a 
worse  crime  against  nature  —  self-excitation. 
This  yielded  to  in  boyhood  sometimes  makes  of 
the  young  man  a  woman  pursuer,  but  probably 
more  often  a  woman  hater ;  while,  on  the  other 
hand,  it  is  often  the  last  and  final  resort  of  the  old 
and  broken-down  debauchee.  In  either  event 
the  effect  upon  the  constitution  is  detrimental  in 
the  extreme.  It  is  customary,  but  still  a  grava 
error,  to  preserve  silence  upon  this  subject. 
"  But,"  to  apply  to  it  the  brave  words  of  my 
friend  Dr.  Shrady,  of  New  York,  when  discuss- 
ing prostitution,  "  notwithstanding  our  preju- 
dices of  education,  agitation  will  here,  as  in  the 
kindred  question  of  pre-natal  infanticide,  finally 
culminate  in  reform."  *     If  the  subject  is  decided, 

*  New  York  Medical  Record,  February,  1867,  p.  550. 


58 


IS    IT    iV 


as  I  believe  will  be  the  case,  to  be  of  the  impor- 
tance that  is  claimed  by  every  philosophical 
physician  who  has  looked  into  the  matter,  a 
voice  will  go  out  into  every  corner  of  the  land, 
caught  up  and  re-echoed  by  all  the  medical  men 
thereof,  that  will  cause  those  who  care  either  for 
their  souls  or  their  bodies,  to  pause  and  tremble. 
I  would  not  exaggerate  this  matter — -I  would 
not  indorse  that  empiricism  in  medicine  which 
seeks  to  obtain  gain  through  awakening  un- 
grounded fears,  or  imply  that  I  believe  that 
those  who  have  occasionally  gone  astray  are 
necessarily  incurably  diseased,  or  their  souls 
irretrievably  lost.  On  the  contrary,  it  is  my 
opinion,  already  stated,  that  just  as  there  is  more 
joy  in  heaven  over  the  repentant  sinner  than  over 
those  who  wandered  not,  so  those  who  have 
learned  by  bitter  experience  often  make,  here 
below,  the  better  men.  I  have  more  than  once 
in  this  essay  drawn  from  the  language  of  Dr. 
Ware,  an  old  man,  of  widely-extended  experi- 
ence, close  habits  of  observation,  a  thoughtful 
mind,  and  of  abounding  charity  for  those  who  had 
erred.    There  is  no  one  amonsr  the  wide  circle  of 


A    BOOK   FOR    EVERY    MAN.  59 

medical  men  who  were  on  terms  of  personal 
acquaintance  with  this  distinguished  member 
of  our  profession  who  will  not  acknowledge  that 
the  following  sketch  is  far  from  being  over- 
drawn :  — 

"  There  is  another  form  of  sensuality,  far  more 
common  among  the  young,  it  is  to  be  feared, 
than  that  of  which  we  have  been  speaking,  and 
equally  demanding  notice  —  solitary  indulgence. 
This  is  resorted  to  from  different  motives.  With 
many  there  is  no  opportunity  for  the  natural 
gratification  of  their  appetites  ;  some  are  deterred 
from  such  gratification  by  the  fear  of  discovery, 
regard  for  character,  or  a  dread  of  disease  ;  oth- 
ers there  are  whose  consciences  revolt  at  the  idea 
of  licentious  intercourse,  who  yet  addict  them- 
selves to  this  practice  with  the  idea  that  there  is 
in  it  less  of  criminalit}-.  It  is  to  be  apprehended, 
however,  that  its  commencement  can  usually  be 
traced  to  a  period  of  life  when  no  such  causes 
can  have  been  in  operation.  It  is  begun  from 
Imitation,  and  taught  by  example,  long  before 
the  thoughts  are  likely  to  have  been  exercised, 
with  regard  either  to  its  dangers  or  its  crimi- 
nalitv. 


6o  IS    IT    I? 

"  The  prevalence  of  this  vice  among  boys, 
there  is  great  reason  to  believe,  has  very  much  to 
do  with  the  great  amount  of  illicit  indulgence 
which  exists  among  young  men.  The  one  bears 
the  same  relation  to  the  other,  in  a  certain  sense, 
that  moderate  drinking  does  to  intemperance.  It 
prepares  the  way,  it  excites  the  apjDetite,  it  de- 
bauches the  imagination.  There  is  little  doubt 
that  it  is  often,  if  not  commonly,  begun  at  a 
period  of  life  when  the  natural  appetite  does 
not,  and  should  not,  exist.  It  is  solicited,  pre- 
maturely developed  ;  it  is  almost  created.  On 
every  account,  then,  this  practice  in  the  young 
demands  especial  notice.  It  is  the  great  cor- 
rupter of  the  morals  of  our  youth,  as  well  as  a 
frequent  destroyer  of  their  health  and  constitu- 
tion. Could  it  be  arrested,  the  task  of  preventing 
the  more  open  form  of  licentiousness  would  be 
comparatively  easy  ;  for  it  ci'eates  and  establishes, 
at  a  very  early  age,  a  strong  physical  propensity, 
an  animal  want,  of  the  most  imperious  nature, 
which,  like  the  longing  of  the  intemperate  man, 
it  is  almost  beyond  human  power  to  overcome 
The  brute   impulse   becomes   a   habit   of   nearly 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  6l 

irresistible  force  before  the  reason  is  instructed 
as  to  its  injurious  influence  on  tlie  liealth,  or  the 
conscience  awakened  as  to  its  true  character  as 
a  sin. 

"  The  deleterious,  the  sometimes  appalling 
consequences  of  this  vice  upon  the  health,  the 
constitution,  the  mind  itself,  are  some  of  the 
common  matters  of  medical  observation.  The 
victims  of  it  should  know  what  these  conse- 
quences are ;  for  to  be  acquainted  with  the 
tremendous  evils  it  entails  may  assist  them  in 
the  work  of  resistance.  These  consequences  are 
various  in  degree  and  in  permanency  according 
to  the  extent  to  which  the  indulgence  is  carried, 
and  also  according  to  the  constitution  of  different 
individuals.  But  there  is  probably  no  extent 
which  is  not  in  some  degree  injurious. 

"  Among  the  effects  of  this  habit,  in  ordinary 
cases,  we  notice  an  impaired  nutrition  of  the 
body ;  a  diminution  of  the  rotundity  which 
belongs  to  childhood  and  youth  ;  a  general  las- 
situde and  languor,  with  weakness  of  the  limbs 
and  back  ;  indisposition  and  incapacity  for  study 
or  labor  ;  dulness  of  apprehension  ;   a  deficient 


62  IS    IT    I? 

power  of  attention  ;  dizziness  ;  headaches  ;  pains 
in  the  sides,  back,  and  limbs ;  affections  of  the 
eyes.  In  cases  of  extreme  indulgence,  these 
symptoms  become  more  strongly  marked,  and 
are  followed  by  others.  The  emaciation  becomes 
excessive  ;  the  bodily  powers  become  more  com- 
pletely prostrated  ;  the  memory  and  the  whole 
mind  partake  hi  the  ruin  ;  and  idiocy  or  insanity, 
in  their  most  intractable  forms,  close  the  train  of 
evils.  It  not  unfrequenlh'  happens  that,  from  the 
cotisequences  of  this  vice,  when  carried  to  an 
extreme,  not  even  repentance  and  reformation 
liberate  the  unhappy  victim. 

"  Let  no  one  say  that  we  overstate  the  extent 
of  this  evil,  or  exaggerate  its  importance  to  the 
health  and  morals  of  the  young.  It  is  in  vain 
that  we  attempt  to  stay  the  licentiousness  of 
youth,  when  we  leave,  unchecked  in  their 
growth,  those  seeds  of  the  vice  which  are  sown 
in  the  bosom  of  the  child.  If  there  is  impurity 
in  the  fountain,  there  will  be  impurity  in  the 
stream  which  flows  from  it.  To  what  purpose 
is  it  that  we  make  and  execute  laws  against 
open  licentiousness  ;  that  we  arm  ourselves  with 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY  MAN.  63 

policemen  and  spies ;  that  we  prosecute  the 
keepers  of  brothels  ;  that  we  hunt  the  wretched 
prostitute  from  the  dram  shop  to  the  cellar,  from 
the  cellar  to  the  jail,  from  the  jail  to  her  grave? 
This  does  not  purify  society :  it  stops  merely  one 
external  development  of  a  corruption  which  still 
lurks,  and  cankers,  and  festers  within.  The 
licentiousness  of  the  brothel  is  clear  and  open  in 
its  character ;  nobody  defends  it ;  every  one  is 
aware  of  its  seductions  and  its  dangers ;  the 
young  man  who  enters  the  house  of  shame  knows 
that  he  does  it  at  the  peril  of  reputation,  and 
under  the  dread  of  disease.  But  the  other  form 
of  licentiousness  is  secret  from  its  very  nature. 
It  may  be  practised  without  suspicion  ;  there  is 
little  fear  of  discovery  or  of  shame.  It  lurks  in  the 
school,  the  academy,  the  college,  the  workshop, 
ay,  even  in  the  nursery.  No  age  and  no  profes- 
sion are  without  examples  of  the  dreadful  ruin  it 
can  accomplish.  Begun  in  childhood,  and  some- 
times even  in  infancy,  it  is  indulged  without  a 
thought  of  its  nature  or  its  effects.  Gradually  it 
winds  around  its  unhappy  victim  a  chain  which 
he  finds  it  impossible  to  break.     Continued  for 


64 


IS  IT  I : 


years,  he  may  wake  at  last  to  a  sense  of  his  deg- 
radation, but  perhaps  too  late  ;  for  it  has  often 
happened  that  neither  the  pressure  of  disease, 
the  stings  of  conscience,  a  strong  sense  of  re- 
ligious obligation,  nor  even  the  fear  of  death, 
have  been  sufficient  to  enable  the  unhappy  suf- 
ferer to  break  from  the  habit  which  inthralls 
him. 

"  None  but  those  who  go  behind  the  scenes  of 
life,  and  are  permitted  to  enter  the  prison-house 
of  the  human  heart,  can  know  how  many  are  the 
terrible  secrets  which  lie  hid  beneath  the  fair  and 
even  face  of  society,  as  we  see  it  in  the  common 
intercourse  of  the  world.  With  how  many  are 
their  early  days  a  struggle  for  life  and  death 
between  principle  and  jDassion,  the  spirit  and  the 
flesh  !  With  how  many  are  those  days  spent  in 
yielding  and  repenting,  in  reluctant  indulgences, 
followed  by  agonies  of  remorse  and  shame  ! 
With  how  many  does  the  conscience  become 
callous,  and  vice  a  second  nature  !  How  often 
has  it  happened  that  natures,  really  fair  and 
pure,  have  gradually  become  tarnished  and  dim, 
and  the   highest  hopes   of  youth  been  defeated  ! 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAX.  65 

How  often  has  it  happened  that  young  men  of 
rare  promise,  of  whose  success  great  expectations 
have  been  entertained,  have  suddenly  failed  b}^ 
the  way ;  have  seemed  prematurely  worn  down 
by  study,  and  been  forced  to  relinquish  the  career 
on  which  they  were  entering  with  the  bright- 
est prospects  !  Little  is  it  suspected  by  anxious 
friends,  or  a  sympathizing  public,  in  such  cases, 
that  it  is  not  too  exclusive  devotion  to  study ; 
that  it  is  not  midnight  toil ;  that  it  is  not  errors 
of  diet,  or  want  of  air  or  exercise,  that  have 
withered  their  energies  and  unnerved  their 
frame.  There  may  be  a  nearer  and  a  more 
inevitable  destroyer  than  these. 

"  This  is  a  subject  most  painful  to  dwell  upon  ; 
one  upon  which  it  is  hard  to  think,  to  speak,  or 
to  write,  without  seeming  to  partake  in  some 
measure  of  its  pollution.  Still,  attention  to  it  is 
vital  to  any  successful  effort  to  arrest  the  vices 
of  impurity.  The  evils  which  are  directly  in- 
flicted upon  the  health,  the  physical  develop- 
ment, the  constitution,  by  these  secret  practices, 
are  enough  in  themselves  to  command  our  inter- 
est.     It   sometimes    happens   that   the    habit    is 


66  IS  IT  I? 

acquired  by  accident,  or  persons  of  a  peculiar 
temperament  are  led  to  it  by  a  spontaneous  im 
pulse.  More  frequently,  however,  it  is  taught  by 
one  generation  to  that  which  follows ;  and  so 
o-eneral  is  this  education  of  evil,  that  it  is  rare 
to  find  those  who  have  been  fortunate  enough 
to  escape  wholly  from  its  contamination.  Un- 
happily the  physical  pollution  is  not  all ;  for,  as 
a  matter  almost  of  course,  there  are  associated 
with  it  loose  conversations,  licentious  imagin- 
ings, and  low  ideas  of  the  relations  of  the  sexes. 
It  leads  to  the  reading  of  obscene,  or  at  least 
voluptuous  books,  gazing  upon  pictures  of  the 
same  description,  and  to  general  licentiousness 
of  thought  and  of  language.  It  is  not  strange, 
when  the  mind  is  thus  filled  with  such  images, 
and  taught  to  dwell  upon  and  brood  over  them 
in  the  immature  period  of  youth,  that  this  part 
of  our  nature  should  be  prematurely  and  unnat- 
urally developed,  and  that  the  opportunities  of 
more  advanced  years  should  lead  to  that  state 
of  morals  among  young  men  which  is  so  noto- 
rious, and  so  much  to  be  deplored. 

"  Is  it  not  obvious  then,  where  the  remedy  is 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  67 

to  be  applied,  if  indeed  a  remedy  be  possible? 
Is  it  not  obvious  that  our  success  must  be  small 
indeed  if  we  confine  ourselves  to  means  intended 
to  check  the  overt  indulgences  of  maturity  in 
licentiousness  in  one  generation,  whilst  those  who 
are  to  constitute  the  next  are  left  to  the  same 
fearful  development  of  their  animal  passions, 
which  must  lead  them  on,  by  steps  as  certain  as 
the  grave,  in  the  same  career  of  indulgence?"* 

Such  being  the  case,  and  seeking  what  is  for 
the  good  of  men  alone,  without  regard  as  5^et  for 
the  interests  of  women,  we  are  com^^elled  to 
indorse  marriage  as  a  most  important  sanitary 
measure,  alike  for  enabling  a  reasonable  gratifi- 
cation of  the  sexual  instinct,  for  the  avoidance 
of  disease,  and  for  restraining  men  from  alterna- 
tives alike  disastrous  to  themselves,  their  descend- 
ants, and  to  society. 

1  proceed  now  to  discuss  the  time  in  a  young 
man's  life  at  which  marriage  becomes  advisable. 

*  Loc.  cit.,  p.  45. 


68  IS  IT  I? 

III.  —  How    EARLY    IN    LiFE    IS    MARRIAGE     TO 
BE    ADVISED? 

The  answer  to  the  above  question  varies 
with  the  circumstances  under  which  it  is  asked. 
Viewing  the  subject,  as  I  am  doing,  solely  from 
a  medical  point  of  observation,  it  is  unnecessary 
for  me  to  give  much  attention  to  the  other  argu- 
ments, for  and  against,  that  would  else  have  to 
be  considered. 

Political  economists,  almost  without  exception, 
have  inveighed  against  an  early  entrance  into 
wedlock.  I  could  give  much  evidence  upon  this 
point,  were  it  necessary.  They  base  their  rea- 
sonings upon  several  assumptions,  which  are 
almost  purely  such.  In  some  ancient  states,  as 
Sparta,  it  was  by  law  forbidden  to  men  tiB^iarry 
under  the  age  of  thirty.  ''  And  in  this,"  says 
Acton,  "  as  in  many  other  matters,  Lycurgus, 
the  old  lawgiver,  shov/cd  his  wisdom."  *  In 
some  modern  states,  also,  a  time  has  been  fixed, 
as  twenty-five  years,  until  which  men  must  re- 
main celibate. 

*  Loc.  cit.,  p.  76. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  69 

These  restrictions  have  frequently  been  estab- 
lished for  the  purpose  of  keeping  alive  a  mar- 
tial spirit.  When  a  people  are  permitted  to  fol- 
low the  dictates  of  their  own  hearts,  they  are  apt 
to  anchor  themselves  at  home,  tied  down  by  tne 
innumerable  cords  of  affection  and  pecuniary 
necessity  or  advantage.  If  this  is  prevented,  the 
youth  remains  for  a  certain  number  of  years  at 
the  service  of  the  state,  is  taught  that  first  of  all 
lessons  of  life,  obedience,  without  a  knowledge 
of  which  no  man  can  himself  come  to  rule  ;  he 
is  supposed  less  likely  to  form  a  hasty  or  injudi- 
cious conjugal  alliance,  and  from  having  been 
sent  hither  or  thither  across  the  world  at  the 
command  of  his  superior,  to  be  finally  more 
anxious  to  settle  permanently  down  as  a  private 
citizen. 

Again,  in  most  countries,  whether  young  or 
old,  there  is  a  tendency,  exaggerated,  no  doubt, 
ill  many  instances,  to  become  overstocked  by  the 
human  race ;  and  theorists  and  lawgivers  vie 
with  each  other  in  their  efforts  to  keep  down 
the  population.  Not  only  is  it  thought  that  by 
preventing    the  young    from    marriage,   a   direct 


^o  IS  IT  ir 

check  is  thus  given,  but  that  when  that  condi- 
tion is  entered  at  a  more  advanced  time  of  life, 
the  man  has  become  sobered  by  age,  and  what 
ib  technically  called  "  more  prudent." 

Many  suppose  that  the  children  of  persons  in 
the  prime  of  life  are  more  likely  to  be  sound  in 
body  and  in  mind  than  the  offspring  of  earlier 
years,  —  a  result  that  does  not  necessarily  occur, 
—  while  others,  among  whom  Mr.  Acton,  more 
or  less  distinctly  denying  the  benefit  of  marriage 
as  a  sanitary  measure,  add  to  the  above  argu- 
ments a  still  more  untenable  one,  that  perfect 
continence  is  the  only  wise  and  true  measure  of 
life.  "  Marriage,"  he  says,  "■  is  not  the  panacea 
of  all  earthly  woes,  or  the  sole  correction  of  all 
early  vices.  It  often  interferes  with  work  and 
success  in  life,  and  its  only  result  is  that  tlic 
poor  man  (poor  in  a  pecuniary  point  of  view) 
never  reaches  the  bodily  health  or  social  happi- 
ness he  might  otherwise  have  reasonably  ex- 
pected. Under  the  age  of  twenty-five  I  have 
no  scruple  in  enjoining  perfect  continence.  The 
sighing,  lackadaisical  boy  should  be  bidden  to 
work  and  win   his  wife  before   he  can  hope  to 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  7 1 

taste  any  of  the  happiness  or  benefits  of  married 
life."  * 

There  is  much  that  may  be  said  in  favor,  and 
much  in  disproval,  of  these  several  views.  The 
great  uprising  of  our  own  people,  both  North 
and  South,  during  the  late  civil  conflict,  the  long 
and  patient  endurance  they  exhibited,  and  the 
innumerable  feats  of  great  personal  valor  that 
they  performed,  sufficiently  prove  that  early  mar- 
riages, which  are  common  in  this  country,  and 
a  national  devotion  for  many  years  to  the  arts  of 
peace,  do  not  necessarily  deprive  a  race  of  its 
most  vigorous  manhood.  In  our  own  instance, 
the  conflict  over,  and  the  best  blood  of  the  coun- 
try spilled,  we  were  yet  ready,  if  need  had  been, 
to  defend  our  rights  against  the  world. 

As  for  becoming  overstocked,  there  is  for  us 
no  danger  of  this  for  many  long  years  to  come. 
Our  fertile  pi'airies,  and  the  long  reaches  of  arable 
land  lying  between  the  mountain  ranges  of  the 
far  West,  are  destined  to  cradle  untold  millions ; 
and  if  to  these  we  add  the  parched  but  still 
irrigable  plains   of  the   extreme   Southwest,  we 

*  Loc.  cit.,  p.  76. 


72 


IS    IT    II 


see  that  our  country  is  still  in  its  infanc3^  If 
older  nations  had  but  followed  the  example  of 
the  Irish,  the  English,  and  the  modern  Jews,  all 
over-crowding  would  be  moi'e  than  met  by  emi- 
gration, the  peaceful  transfer  of  colonists  mect- 
insf  the  exigencies  of  the  case  far  better  than  the 
former  eruptions  of  northern  hordes,  thinned  by 
disease,  famine,  and  the  sword. 
■  Is  it  said,  that  contrary  to  the  doctrines  of 
^Dhvsiologists  and  to  the  precepts  of  Scripture, 
a  jjurely  ascetic  life  is  the  only  normal  one  ? 
Acton  has  adverted  to  the  fact,  as  he  calls  it, 
"  that  the  intellectual  qualities  are  usually  in  an 
inverse  ratio  to  the  sexual  appetites.  It  would 
almost  seem,"  he  continues,  "  as  if  the  two  were 
incompatible  ;  the  exercise  of  the  one  annihilat- 
ing the  other."  *  With  Thales,  he  would  reply 
to  those  who  ask  when  men  should  love,  "  A 
young  man,  not  yet  —  an  old  man,  not  at  all ;  " 
and  he  styles  Lord  Bacon  the  still  wiser  Eng- 
lishman, quoting  from  him  the  following  pas- 
sages: "You  may  observe  that  amongst  all  the 
great  and  worthy  persons  whereof  the  memory 

*  Loc.  cit.,  p.  73. 


A    BOOK    FOR    KVEIIV    MAN.  73 

remaineth,  either  ancient  or  recent,  there  is  not 
one  who  hath  been  transported  to  the  mad  de- 
gree of  love  ;  which  shows  that  great  spirits  and 
great  business  do  keep  out  this  weak  passion. 
By  how  much  more  ought  men  to  beware  of  this 
passion,  which  loseth  not  only  other  things, 
but  itself.  He  that  hath  preferred  Helena  hath 
quitted  the  gifts  of  Juno  and  Pallas,  for  whoso- 
ever esteemeth  too  much  of  amorous  affection 
quitteth  both  riches  and  wisdom.  They  do  best 
who,  if  they  cannot  but  admit  love,  yet  make  it 
keep  quarter,  and  sever  it  wholly  from  their 
serious  affairs  and  actions  of  life  ;  for  if  it  check 
once  with  business,  it  troubleth  men's  fortunes, 
and  maketh  men  that  they  can  be  no  ways  true 
to  their  own  ends." 

As  a  fair  offset  to  these  remarks,  I  shall  give 
a  brief  extract  from  a  letter  to  Mr.  Acton  from 
a  Cambi'idge  graduate,  whose  experience  will 
be  found  not  so  very  different  from  that  of  intel- 
lectual and  sedentary  men  this  side  the  water, 
"  Looking  from  the  academic  side  of  the  ques- 
tion, the  celibac}'  of  Fellows  would  seem  very 
desirable    (for  thus   only  can   they  retain   their 


74 


IS    IT    I? 


fellowships  and  the  annual  stipend  pertaining), 
but  no  one  can  deny  that  such  a  principle  in- 
volves the  sacrifice  of  individual  comfort.  Is 
this  fair  to  the  celibate?  I  think  not.  It  has 
always  seemed  to  me  that  a  single  man  is  in 
an  unnatural  position  ;  a  being  created  by  the 
Almighty  to  increase  and  multiply  a  race  made 
from  the  beginning  male  and  female,  will,  of 
course,  have  his  natural  instincts  in  accordance 
with  this  design  ;  and  mortify  or  control  them 
as  he  may,  they  are  still  there,  and  cannot 
become  extinct.  The  sufferings  of  an  abstinent 
life  I  believe  to  be  cruel  to  every  man  between 
five  and  twenty  and  five  and  forty  ;  and  though 
athletic  exercises,  regular  diet,  and  so  forth, 
supply  some  slight  relief,  still  it  is  never  per- 
manent ;  and  in  any  event  of  reaction,  the  suf- 
ferer will  find  himself  the  worse  for  his  previous 
regularity.  Of  course  a  scdentai'y  life  aggravates 
the  symptoms,  and  I  cannot  believe  that  any  man 
of  ordinary  vigor,  so  living  and  so  abstaining, 
will  be  free  from  nocturnal  annoyance.  Still, 
this  would  be  among  the  least  of  his  distresses ; 
nay,  in    nine    cases    out   of  ten,   I   presume   the 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  75 

safety  valve  of  nature  is  a  most  happy  and 
beneficial  relief;  and  though  I  cannot  fly  in  the 
face  of  medical  authority,  and  deny  that  there 
is  a  pernicious  class  of  the  disorder,  still  I  firmly 
believe  all  those  cases  immensely  exaggerated  by 
the  sufferers,  and  capable  of  an  easy  cure,  to 
wit,  matrimony,  unless  the  patient,  by  degrading 
practices,  has  reduced  himself  to  a  state  of  im- 
potence. Meanwhile  a  man  should  go  into 
training  for  a  conflict  with  his  appetites  just 
as  keenly  as  he  does  for  the  University  Eight, 
the  only  difference  being  that  the  training  will 
be  more  beneficial  and  more  protracted.  Be- 
sides diet  and  exercise,  let  him  be  constantly 
employed  ;  in  fact,  let  him  have  so  many  meta- 
phorical irons  in  the  fire  that  he  will  find  it 
difficult  to  snatch  ten  minutes  for  private  medi- 
tation ;  let  his  sleep  be  very  limited,  and  the 
temperature  he  moves  in  as  nearly  cold  as  he 
can  bear  ;  let  neither  his  eye  nor  his  ear  be  vol- 
untarily open  to  anything  that  could  possibly 
excite  the  passions  ;  if  he  see  or  hear  acciden- 
tally what  miglit  have  this  tendency,  let  him  at 
once  resort  to  his  dumb-bells,  or  any  other  mus- 


h6  is  it  1? 

cular  precaution,  till  he  is  quite  fixtigued  ;  when- 
ever any  sensual  image  occurs  involuntarily  to 
his  mind,  let  him  fly  to  the  same  resource,  or 
else  to  the  intellectual  company  of  friends,  till 
he  feels  secure  of  no  return  on  the  enemy's  part. 
Lastly,  I  would  fain  add,  let  the  sufterer  from 
sexual  causes  make  his  affliction  the  subject  of 
most  earnest  prayer,  at  any  and  all  times,  to  that 
Ear  where  no  supplication  is  made  in  vain. 
Thus  armed,  he  may  keep  his  assailant  at  bay, 
though  I  fear  conquest  is  impossible,  and  the 
struggle  a  most  severe  one.  Sound  old  Jeremy 
Taylor,  after  discoursing  on  chastity  in  some- 
thing like  the  above  strain,  says,  if  I  remember 
right,  '  These  remedies  are  for  extraordinary 
cases,  but  the  ordinary  remedy  is  good  and  holy 
marriage.' ' 

As  I  have  said,  the  time  at  which  marriage 
may  be  entered  upon  must  vary  in  accordance 
with  the  circumstances  of  each  case.  Love  is 
proverbially  blind,  and  I  shall  be  told  that  regard 
oDght  to  be  had  to  the  actual  and  relative  ages 
of  the  parties,  their  health,  their  pecuniary  cir- 
cumstances and  prospects,  the  advice  and  wishes 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVKRY    MAN.  77 

of  friends.  All  this  is  very  true,  to  a  certain 
extent,  but  far  more  depends  upon  the  mental 
and  spiritual  strength  of  the  husband ;  if  he  is 
determined  to  conquer  adverse  circumstances,  he 
can  generally  do  so,  just  in  proportion  as  he 
curbs  and  keeps  under  control  himself.  Let  him 
look  forward  and  determine  to  use  and  not  abuse 
his  marital  privileges,  to  respect  his  wife,  and 
not  make  of  her  a  mere  plaything  that  will 
early  wear  out,  and  a  man  will  find  the  lions 
that  seemed  to  stand  in  his  path  the  veriest  illu- 
sion. The  points,  however,  that  I  have  referred 
to  are  worthy  a  moment's  consideration. 

As  to  age,  there  can  be  no  doubt  that,  for 
some  reasons,  it  would  be  better  for  no  man 
to  marry  before  he  has  reached  the  age  of  twen- 
ty-five, and  for  no  woman  until  she  is  twenty  ; 
for  till  this  time  neither  party  can  be  consid- 
ered, physically,  as  really  mature.  To  apply 
this  rule,  however,  rigidly  to  practice,  would,  in 
this  country,  be  very  difficult.  With  us,  such  is 
the  precocity  of  mental  development,  that  the 
young  child  is  often  in  many  things  the  old 
man.     Taken  from  the  nursery  almost  before  the 


78 


IS    IT    I? 


(irst  dentition  has  occurred,  placed  in  business 
or  upon  the  chissics  ahiiost  at  the  time  of  as- 
suming the  boy's  distinctive  garmen.s,  many  of 
our  merchants  and  manufacturers  have  achieved 
a  fortune,  and  many  of  our  professional  men  a 
reputation,  by  the  time  they  have  hardly  passed 
their  majority.  Precocity  of  youth,  spent  under 
the  stimulus  of  the  American  atmosphere,  cli- 
matic, intellectual,  and  moral,  can  but  result  in 
a  certain  kind  of  precocity  of  manhood. 

The  same  is  also  true  of  our  women.  Sub- 
jected as  they  are  to  excessively  early  excitement 
of  the  mind,  in  school  and  in  society,  they  rap- 
idly press  their  mothers  from  the  stage,  and 
though  physically  not  giving  earlier  signs  of  be- 
ing nubile  than  the  girls  of  other  nations,  the}^  are 
far  earlier  in  the  market,  as  it  were,  for  the  sale, 
as  it  too  often  is  in  fact,  of  their  charms  and  of 
their  lives.  No  doubt  this  so  early  "  coming 
out"  from  the  chrysalid  of  youth  is  detrimental  to 
botli  man  and  woman.  An  early  bloom  is  too  apt 
to  presage  an  early  decay  ;  and  though  our  moi-- 
tuary  statistics,  thanks  to  the  advance  of  medical 
and  sanitary  science,  do  undoubtedly  shew  that 


A   BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  79 

the  average  duration  of  life  is  becoming  more 
and  more  extended,  and  that  the  Golden  Age,  in 
this  I'espect,  is  before  us  rather  than  in  the  past ; 
vet,  talcing  a  given  number  of  persons  exposed 
and  not  exposed  to  all  the  excitements  of  modern 
American  civilization,- there  can  be  no  doubt 
that  the  unfashionable  live  longer  than  the  fash- 
ionable, the  steady  than  the  unsteady,  the  slowly 
matured  than  the  Pallas-like  monstrosities  of  our 
own  day  and  generation.  Whether  or  no  the 
slow  and  sedate  life  is  the  happier  of  the  twain, 
and  whether  or  no  the  life  of  threescore  years 
and  ten  can  be  compressed  within  the  limits  of 
two  twenties,  are  questions  beyond  the  scope 
of  the  present  inquiry.  VVe  all  know  that,  at 
the  best,  life  is  but  a  quickly  passing  dream. 

Provided,  then,  there  exist  sufficient  self-control 
to  wait  a  while,  very  early  marriages  are  not  so 
desirable  as  those  where  the  ages  I  have  men- 
tioned have  been  attained  ;  that  is  to  say,  pro- 
vided the  man  has  led  a  life  of  continence  and 
purity,  or  has  the  strength  to  do  so.  If  he  has 
not,  it  may  become  advisable  for  him,  in  case 
circumstaaces  otlierwise  favor,  early  to  enter  the 


8o  IS    IT    I? 

married  state ;  awake,  as  he  should  be,  to  the  le- 
sponsibilities  this  brings  with  it,  to  many  of 
which  I  shall  hereafter  refer.  And  here  let  it  be 
understood  that  extremes  are  alwaj's,  almost 
without  exception,  to  be  condemned.  The  mar- 
riages of  young  children  are  very  properly  foi'- 
bidden  by  the  law  ;  those  of  older  children  too 
often  become  necessary  through  their  own  indis- 
cretion, and  result  in  future  as  in  present  unhap- 
piness.  The  marriage  of  very  old  people,  per- 
missible on  platonic  or  economical  grounds,  is 
sanitarily  to  be  disapproved,  and  in  many  instances 
is  but  the  folly  of  the  second  childhood.  Great 
disparities  i.i  age  are  almost  always  matches  of 
interest  rather  than  aflection  :  the  selfish  greed- 
iness, the  shameless  yet  impotent  lechery,  of  old 
age  joins  itself  well  with  that  ambition  or  thirst 
for  wealth  which  sells  the  young  girl  to  her 
worse  than  slavery  —  this  mating  of  youth  to  a 
virtual  corpse. 

I  do  not  like  to  advise  marriage  to  parties  in 
ill  health  ;  and  yet,  as  a  medical  measure,  this  is 
often  advisable.  We  have  seen  that  a  single  life 
is  for  men,  and  on  sanitary  grounds,  not  the  licst. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  51 

There  are  many  cases  where  it  is  as  unadvisable 
for  women.  x\s  a  class  the}'  need  marriage,  for 
a  different  reason  than  oui'selves.  Constructed 
as  evidently  for  companionship,  their  yearnings 
are  more  mental  than  physical.  They  are  less 
conscious  of  any  bodily  needs,  that  is,  in  their 
normal  condition,  but  more  craving  of  a  spirit- 
ual sympathy  ;  more  angeiic  than  om^selves,  we 
may  truly  call  them.  The  point  to  which  I 
would  now  refer,  however,  is  the  fact  that,  in 
many  instances,  women  are  deterred  from  con- 
senting to  marriage  upon  the  ground  of  their 
own  ill  health  ;  and  I  merely  shall  say  that,  in 
very  many  instances,  far  more  than  is  usually 
supposed,  marriage  would  prove  for  such  ill 
health  the  most  certain  cure.  I  do  not  make 
this  remark  too  sweepingly,  for  there  are  some 
affections  under  which  women  suffer  that  would 
only  be  aggravated  by  the  change ;  there  are 
certain  bars,  as  that  of  cousinship,  which,  on 
some  accounts,  ought  never  to  be  passed,  and 
there  are  certain  physical  evils  of  which  marriage 
is  only  but  too  productive.  Plainly  I  would 
avow  my  conviction  that  just  as  marriage  shoulc^ 


83  IS    IT    If 

be  avoided  among  blood  relations,  for  the  reason 
that  any  family  taint,  as  scrofula,  deformity,  or 
insanity,  is  thus  rendered  nearly  certain  to  their 
children,  so  should  the  same  similarity  of  con- 
stitution be  avoided,  so  far  as  possible,  by  Coe- 
lebs  in  search  of  a  wife.  If,  selfishly,  he  would 
avoid  defects  in  her,  is  it  not  his  duty  also  to 
see  to  it  that  he  brings  to  her  a  constitution  of 
his  own  unmarred,  so  far  as  he  himself  has  been 
concerned?  And  when,  as  is  too  often  the  case, 
men  who  carry  with  them  a  system  infected  by 
that  terrible  disease  of  the  licentious,  marry  pure 
and  unsuspecting  women,  a  great  outrage  is  com- 
mitted upon  society,  which  no  penance  and  no 
individual  suffering  can  ever  efface  or  atone  for. 
One  of  the  worst  features  of  this  whole  matter, 
as  I  shall  hereafter  point  out,  is  as  yet  generally 
unknown  —  that  the  most  ineradicable  form  of 
the  disease  has  its  period  of  incubation  ;  the  pri- 
mary sign  of  it  may  escape  notice,  the  virus  mav 
lie  latent,  and  when  it  does  exhibit  itself,  the 
party  really  to  blame  may  throw  the  whole 
enormity  of  the  trouble  upon  an  innocent  person, 
and  thus,  on  the  wreck  he  has  made  of  his  home, 
immolate  its  guardian. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVKKV    MAN.  83 

But  I  have  not  time  to  pursue  these  collateral 
lines  of  thought,  manifold  as  they  are,  and  as 
important  as  they  are  interesting.  One  of  the 
great  rules  of  life  being  to  try  to  have  and  to 
preserve  a  sound  mind  in  a  sound  body,  and  it 
being  essential  for  this  that  the  conscience  should 
be  sound  also,  we  are  forced  to  admit  that,  all 
things  being  equal,  a  comparatively  early  mar- 
riage is  better  for  the  man  than  a  late  one ;  this 
on  its  medical  grounds,  and  uninfluenced  by  busi- 
ness, or  other  considerations.  Were  I  to  discuss 
these  and  push  them  to  their  legitimate  conclu- 
sions. I  am  afraid  I  might  bring  grief  to  some 
of  my  readers  —  if,  for  instance,  I  should  assert 
that  it  were  better  for  the  wives  of  many  sea- 
faring men,  especially  those  going  very  long  voy- 
ages, if  their  husbands  had  never  married  them 
at  all,  or  at  least  had  waited  till  their  days  of 
absence,  and  peril,  and  exposure,  in  foreign  ports, 
to  worse  dangers  than  those  of  the  sea,  were 
permaiiently  over.  By  this  remark  I  am  re- 
minded of  the  question  of  long  engagements  —  a 
very  pertinent  one  to  our  present  inquiry. 

In  presenting  Mr.  Acton's  opinion  as  to  the 
/ 


84 


IS  IT  ir 


advisability  of  early  marriage.  I  might  have  said 
that  this  very  writer  contradicts  himself,  as  must 
every  one  who  undertakes  to  ignore  the  great 
underlying  and  controlling  passions  of  men.  I 
have  quoted  some  of  his  remarks  concerning 
continence.  In  another  connection,  however,  he 
says,  "  If  an  adult  is  in  a  position  to  many,  by 
all  means  let  him  do  so.  If  his  sexual  desires 
are  strong,  and  his  intellectual  powers  not  great, 
early  marriage  will  keep  him  out  of  much  mis- 
chief and  temptation."  He  then  goes  on  to  say, 
what  I  myself  hold,  that  "  for  any  one,  espe- 
cialjy  a  young  man,  to  enter  into  a  long  engage- 
ment without  any  immediate  hope  of  fulfilling 
it,  is  physically  an  almost  unmitigated  evil.  It 
is  bad  for  any  one  to  have  sexual  ideas  and 
desires  constantly  before  his  mind,  liable  to  be 
excited  by  every  interview  with  the  lady.  Tlie 
frequent  correspondence,  further,  keeps  u^^  a 
morbid  dwelling  upon  thoughts  which  it  would 
be  well  to  banish  altogether  from  the  mind  ;  and 
I  have  reason  to  know  that  this  condition  of  con- 
stant excitement  has  often  caused  snost  dangei- 
ous  and   painful  alTections.     These  results,  to  an 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  85 

alarming  extent,  often  follow  the  progress  of  an 
ordinary  courtship.  The  danger  and  distress 
may  be  much  more  serious  when  the  marriage 
is  postponed  for  years."  *  The  same  evil  results 
of  hope  deferred  may  also  be  observed  in  the 
female.  Physicians  devoted  to  the  study  of  her 
diseases  attribute  the  causation  of  some  of  them, 
or  their  increase,  to  the  same  identical  influences. 
Mental  emotions,  even  in  the  purest  and  chastest 
minded,  are  often  reflected  upon  the  reproductive 
system,  acting  as  excitants,  even  where  the  mind 
is  unconscious  of  anything  like  a  bodily  sensa- 
tion ;  and,  on  the  other  hand,  physical  excitement, 
which  may  exist  unconsciously  as  it  were,  con- 
stantly reflects  itself  back  again  upon  the  mind, 
increasing  the  force  and  intensity  of  its  emotions. 
"  It  is  no  whim,"  remarks  that  close  student  of 
minds,  healthy  and  diseased.  Dr.  Isaac  Ray,  of 
Providence,  "  but  a  suggestion  of  sound  physi- 
ology, that  the  nervous  erethism,  excited  even  by 
courtship,  has  a  controlling  influence  over  the 
female  will."  f 

*  Loc.  cit.,  p.  77. 

t  American  Journal  of  Insanity,  October,  1866,  p.  267. 


S6  IS  IT  I? 

I  should  do  wrong,  moreover,  did  I  not  here 
aUude  to  the  dangers,  so  often  proved  to  exist 
by  their  results,  of  undue  waiting,  to  the  moral 
as  well  as  the  physical  health.  When  parties 
have  plighted  to  each  other  their  faith,  they  often 
consider  themselves  as  already  one,  and  demean 
themselves  together  too  much  as  such,  —  forget- 
tino-  for  the  time  that  thus  they  are  almost  sure 
to  lose  their  mutual  and  self-respect,  —  they  arc 
more  likely,  for  this  very  reason,  to  take  oiVence 
at  some  unintended  trifle,  or  to  become  wearied 
of  each  other  and  so  to  break  their  engagement, 
and  that  they  run  great  risk,  by  a  forced  and 
hasty  marriage,  of  giving  its  tongue  to  scandal, 
and  confessing  each  other's  shame. 

The  length  of  a  betrothal,  just  as  the  time  of 
its  inception,  is  too  often  dependent  upon  circum- 
stances of  a  trivial  character.  Where  these  en- 
danger the  happiness  of  the  man  alone,  he  him- 
self shoidd  judge  as  to  the  propriety  of  allowing 
them  undue  weight.  He  has  no  right,  however, 
as  so  often  occurs,  to  drag  or  to  coax  a  young  girl 
to  the  altar,  who  is  as  yet  but  half  matured,  or 
to  condemn  her  to  remain  for  years  half-mated, 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY   MAN.  8"/ 

through  his  selfish  fears  that  unless  thus  pledged 
she  would  elude  his  grasp.  As  I  have  said,  too 
early  bloom  is  apt  to  presage  too  early  decay  ; 
and  even  vi^ith  the  best  of  care  our  American 
dames  at  fifty  are  prone  to  pass  into  the  condi- 
tion called  old,  even  while  their  husbands,  more 
advanced  in  years,  are  still  in  the  very  prime  of 
life.  A  word  to  the  wise  should  surely  be  suffi- 
cient. Let  us  hope  that  Lord  Bacon  erred  in 
declaring  love  wholly  inconsistent  with  wisdom, 
and  now  consider,  — 

IV.  —  The  Rights  of  the  Husband. 

Most  men  would  claim  these  to  be  absolute. 
In  view  of  such  claim,  which  is  constantly  in 
practice  enforced,  married  women  are  expected 
to  quietly  yield  themselves,  often  most  unwilling 
victims.  Have  I  any  ground  for  this  last  asser- 
tion? I  have.  Is  it  gained  from  observation  or 
from  confession?  It  is  gained  from  both.  Is  it 
i  conclusion  hastily  founded?  On  the  contrary, 
it  is  the  result  of  the  daily  study  and  direct  ques- 
ionings  of  fifteen  long  years. 


b5  IS    IT    li 

But  it  is  evident  that  there  are  two  very  dis- 
tinct sides  to  this  important  inquiry ;  and  it  is 
requisite  that  they  should  both  be  fairly  pre- 
sented before  the  balance  can  be  struck  between 
them.  Are  these  rights  absolute,  or  are  they  the 
rather  reciprocal  with  duties?  Should  mere  in- 
stinct, or  reason,  be  the  rule  ? 

The  rights  of  the  husband  regarding  his  wife, 
I  have  said,  are  usually  considered  total  and  in- 
disputable. Till  now  they  have  seldom  been 
challenged  ;  certainly  seldom  of  men  by  a  man. 
In  listening,  as  I  have  done,  to  the  plaints  of  wo- 
men, I  have  neither  eavesdropped  nor  suggested. 
In  presenting  them  now  after  these  years  of  com- 
parison and  cross-examination,  it  is  with  no 
quixotic  feeling  of  championship,  but  solely  with 
the  desire  of  an  earnest  physician  to  assuage 
physical  and  mental  pains,  very  real  though  often 
uncomplained  of  and  unappreciated,  to  carry 
comfort  to  hearts  disappointed  and  well  nigh  bro- 
ken, to  check  abuses  whose  authors  may  not  have 
recognized  them  as  such,  and  to  evoke  a  higher 
manliness  than  is  our  usual  wont,  as  men,  to 
exhibit. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  89 

What,  then,  do  we  usually  claim?  All  that  the 
law.  and  still  more  tyrannical  custom,  grants  to 
us,  in  our  wives  ;  all  that  they  have,  and  all  that 
they  are,  in  person  and  in  very  life.  And  here 
let  me  say,  that  I  intend  taking  no  ultra  ground  ; 
that  I  am  neither  a  fanatic  nor  professed  philan- 
thrope ;  and  that  in  loosing,  as  I  hope  to  do,  some 
of  woman's  present  chains,  it  is  solely  for  pro- 
fessional purposes,  to  increase  her  health,  prolong 
her  life,  extend  the  benefits  she  confers  upon 
society —  in  a  word,  selfishly  to  eniiance  her  value 
to  ourselves  ;  and  yet  there  is  somewhat  in  this 
effort,  as  I  believe  there  is  also  in  the  hearts  of 
all  those  who  will  peruse  it,  of  gratitude  to  her 
for  the  love  with  which  she  has  solaced  us,  as 
mother,  and  sister,  and  wife,  and  daughter,  —  all 
of  which  I  have  myself  possessed  ;  unhappy  iie 
who  has  not.  Give  to  her,  then,  the  serious  con- 
sideration due  from  every  man  "  born  of  woman's 
agony,"  the  depth  and  measure  of  which  but 
lew  of  us  ever  really  know.  I  am  no  advocate 
for  unwomanly  women  ;  I  would  not  transplant 
them,  from  their  proper  and  God-given  sphere, 
to  the  pulpit,  the  forum,  or  the  cares  of  state, 


90 


IS    IT    I 


nor  -would  I  repeat  the  experiment,  so  patiently 
tried  by  myself,  and  at  last  so  emphatically  con- 
demned *  —  of  females  attempting  the  practice  of 
the  medical  profession.  I  would  undoubtedly 
open  to  single  women  every  legitimate  avenue  to 
an  honorable  self-support,  and  thus  keep  them 
from  many  of  the  pitfalls  which  so  closely  environ 
them,  and  by  causing  for  the  married  woman 
more  or  greater  occasion  to  respect  her  husband, 
I  would  redouble  for  him  her  affection.  These 
are  some  of  my  claims  to  be  heard,  and  they 
are  weighty  ones  in  truth. 

In  the  early  history  of  nations,  woman  has 
always  been  the  slave.  She  is  still  such,  con- 
fessed, in  all  barbarous  or  but  partially  civilized 
tribes.  Condemned,  by  custom  or  her  lord's 
caprice,  to  menial  offices,  she  has  pandered  to 
his  transient  emotion,  suffered  its  hardest  conse- 
quences, and  still  drudged  on.  Save  in  name, 
in  what  does  this  description  differ  from  that  of 
thousands  of  our  own  women?      They   do   not, 

*  Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal,  September, 
1866,  p.  191.  New  York  Monthly  Medical  Journal,  No- 
vember, 1866,  p.  156. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  9I 

• 

in  their  best  estate,  it  is  true,  bear  the  nominal 
burdens  of  life,  the  hoe  and  the  venison  meat, 
the  tent  pole  and  the  paddle ;  but  a  queen's 
finery,  to  the  higher  natures  of  our  time,  may  be 
fi\r  heavier  than  these. 

In  former  days,  or  in  distant  lands,  husbands 
have  held  for  their  wives  the  tenure  of  life  or 
death  ;  were  they  disobedient,  or  their  fidelity 
even  questioned,  the  bowstring  or  sack  of  the 
Bosphorus,  or  being  built  aside  by  masonry  while 
still  alive,  in  countries  perhaps  nominally  Chris- 
tian, are  but  a  portion  of  the  penalties  that  were 
meted  them.  In  what,  save  in  being  easier  to  bear, 
do  these  difter  from  enforced  seclusion,  as  in  pri- 
vate huiatic  asylums  not  so  very  many  years  ago, 
or  the  still  more  dreadful  divorce,  where  not 
desired  and  not  deserved,  with  all  its  attendant 
publicity  ? 

In  by-gone  times,  and  among  heathen,  as  at 
present  in  a  remote  valley  of  our  own  great 
land,  so  jealous  of  the  honor  of  its  people,  and 
so  lenient  towards  their  crimes,  women  have 
been  openly  held  as  concubines,  to  possess  an 
abundance  of  whom  were  as  worthy  as  to  num- 


92 


IS  IT  ir 


ber  one's  children.  What  variance  in  this  from 
the  secret  amours  and  liaisons  of  our  own  time, 
so  easy  to  indulge  in,  so  difficult  to  detect,  in 
consequence  of  the  almost  universal  knowledge 
of  the  means  of  preventing  or  escaping  the  nat- 
ural consequences  of  illicit  sexual  indulgence? 

In  days  long  past,  and  in  tribes  far  down  in 
ignorance  and  ^luperstition,  it  has  been  the  cus- 
tom to  slaughter  new-born  infants,  to  avoid  the 
trouble  of  their  support,  or  to  appease  the  gods. 
In  Sparta,  it  was  alleged  that  such  destruction  of 
the  puny  or  deformed  was  justified  for  the  sake 
of  preserving  the  race  in  all  its  pristine  beauty 
and  vigor.  Is  such  a  deed,  at  the  hands  of  even 
a  heathen  Greek,  to  be  compared  for  wickedness 
with  the  pre-natal  murders  of  the  present  day, 
daily  in  occurrence,  fiishionable  even,  and  be- 
praised  by  professing  Christians,  repeated  over 
and  over  again  by  the  same  married  woman  and 
mother?  You  will  exclaim  with  horror  that  it 
is  not !  And  yet,  in  a  very  large  proportion  of 
instances,  this  shocking  and  atrocious  act  is  ad- 
vised and  abetted,  if  not  compelled,  by  the  hus- 
band—  by  us  men.  Who  enjoys  asking  now, 
"Is  it  I?" 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  93 

For  the  woman,  enfeebled  perhaps  b}^  too  ex- 
cessive child-bearing,  for  which  her  husband  is 
generally  wholly  responsible,  for  few  of  our 
wives  do  not  become,  sooner  or  later,  virtually 
apathetic  ;  for  the  woman,  timid,  easily  alarmed, 
prone  to  mental  depression  or  other  disturbance, 
and  dreading  the  yet  safe  and  preferable  labor 
that  awaits  her,  and  withal  under  that  strange  and 
mastering  thraldom  of  fashion,  there  is  a  certain 
measure  of  excuse.     For  her  husband,  none. 

This  is  a  matter  concerning  which  the  public 
mind  is  now  undergoing  a  radical  change.  Slow 
to  set  in  motion,  but  every  day  gaining  more 
rapidly  in  force,  the  world's  revival  proceeds. 
In  "Why  Not?"  or  "Why  should  women  not 
commit  this  crime?"  I  have  sounded  almost  a 
trump  to  awake  the  dead.  Would,  indeed,  that 
it  might  arouse  a  better  life  in  every  man  who 
reads  these  words  :  "  Of  the  mother,  by  consent 
or  by  her  own  hand,  imbrued  with  her  infant's 
blood ;  of  the  more  guilty  father,  who  counsels 
or  allows  the  crime  ;  of  the  wretches  who,  by 
their  wholesale  murders,  far  out-Herod  Burke 
and  Hare  ;  of   the  public   sentiment  which  pal- 


94 


IS    IT    II 


liates,  pardons,  and  would  even  praise  thi::),  so 
common,  violation  of  all  law,  human  and  divine, 
of  all  instinct,  all  reason,  all  pity,  all  mercy,  all 
love,  we  leave  those  to  speak  who  can."  * 

What,  then,  I  repeat,  do  husbands  usually 
claim  ?  The  right  to  their  wives'  persons,  to  use 
or  abuse  at  their  pleasure ;  the  right  to  their 
wives'  happiness,  and  to  endanger  or  destroy  it, 
as  they  may  choose  ;  the  right  to  their  wives' 
lives  and  those  of  their  offspring,  and  to  destro}^ 
these  also,  the  latter  directly,  the  former  thus 
indirectly,  and  at  times  also,  by  their  physical 
violence  or  their  persistent  though  petty  cruel- 
ties, very  directly  too. 

Formerly  men  had  control,  exclusive  and  en- 
tire, of  any  Dossessions  their  wives  might  bring 
them.  Now,  and  with  us  at  least,  the  law  has 
very  materially  curtailed  the  husband's  power  in 
this  respect,  save  it  be  granted  him  by  the  wife's 
consent.  Will  the  time  come,  think  ye,  when 
husbands  can  no  longer,  as  thev  now  frequently 

*  Prize  Essay  of  the  American  Medical  Association, 
p.  79. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  95 

do,  commit  the  crime  of  rape  upon  their  unwill- 
ing wives,  and  persuade  them  or  compel  them 
to  allow  a  still  more  dreadful  violence  to  be 
wreaked  upon  the  children  nestling  within  them 
—  children  fully  alive  from  the  very  moment  of 
conception,  that  have  already  been  fully  de- 
tached from  all  organic  connection  with  their 
parent,  and  only  re-attached  to  her  for  the  pur- 
poses of  nutriment  and  growth,  and  to  destroy 
whom  "  is  a  crime  of  the  same  nature,  both 
against  our  Maker  and  society,  as  to  destroy  an 
infant,  a  child,  or  a  man  "  ?  * 

I  cannot  be  too  emphatic  upon  these  points. 
It  is  of  no  use  to  say  that  I  am  straining  them  to 
conclusions  that  are  forced  and  unwarranted. 
That  these  are  in  accordance  with  fact  must  be  al- 
lowed by  everv  medical  man  at  all  familiar  with  the 
practice  of  his  profession,  and  indeed  by  every 
layman  who  will  for  a  moment  think  of  the  mat- 
ter. It  is  one  of  the  simplest  common  sense,  as 
■veil  as  in  unison  with  the  teachings  of  the 
purest  science,  and  its  results  are  already  show- 

*  Percival.    Medical  Ethics,  p.  79. 


96  IS    IT    I? 

ing  themselves  in  tlie  ill  health  of  our  women 
and  in  the  gi-ackial  dying  out  of  our  native  popu- 
lation, just  as  some  of  the  means  for  preventing 
pregnancy  are  evincing  themselves  to  the  prac- 
tised eye  in  the  dyspepsias,  the  unsteady  step, 
gray  hairs,  and  premature  deci'epitude  of  many 
of  our  men. 

In  pointing  out  the  physical  diseases  resulting 
to  woman  from  intentional  abortion,  I  instanced 
insanity,  of  which  at  that  time  several  cases, 
thus  occasioned,  had  come  under  my  observa- 
tion. To  this,  as  to  some  other  of  my  views 
concerning  the  causation  of  insanity  in  women, 
many  psychologists  have  been  inclined  to  take 
exception.  One  of  the  most  influential  asylum 
superintendents  in  the  country  (I  refer  to  Dr. 
John  P.  Gray,  of  the  New  York  State  Asylum 
at  Utica),  has  lately  given  most  emphatic 
approval  of  my  views.  In  his  Report  for  the 
present  year,  just  published.  Dr.  Gray  devotes 
several  pages  to  this  special  question,  taking  oc- 
casion to  speak  very  kindly  of  "  Why  Not?  "  and 
using  the  following  impressive  language :  "  All 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  97 

must  admit  the  corrupting  tendency  of  vice  in 
any  of  its  shades,  and  especially  when  in  intent 
or  fact  it  seeks  to  thwart,  by  actual  violence,  the 
beneficent  laws  of  our  being,  and  turn  the  pur- 
poses of  God,  in  ordering  the  '  holy  estate  of  mat- 
rimony,' into  the  basest  species  of  prostitution. 
The  existence  of  this  horrid,  unnatural,  secret 
crime,  carried  out,  often,  by  the  mutual  consent 
and  connivance  of  husbands  and  wives,  is  not 
new.  Its  terrible  prevalence  has  steadily  in- 
creased. I  have  for  many  years  received  and 
treated  patients  whose  insanity  was  directly  trace- 
able to  this  crime,  through  its  moral  and  physical 
effects."  And  again  :  "  I  need  not  here  discuss 
at  length  the  disorders  consequent  on  this  crime, 
in  any  and  all  of  its  shades,  but  I  deem  it  no 
less  than  my  duty  to  declare,  as  already  stated, 
that  it  is,  directly  and  indirectly,  one  of  the  causes 
of  insanity."  *  This  being  the  case,  well  might  I 
preface  one  of  my  earlier  works  by  the  follovv- 


*  Twenty-fourth  Annual  Report  of  the  Managers  of 
the  New  York  State  Lunatic  Asylum,  pp.  ;^^  to  37.  Legis- 
lative Document.     Albany,  1867. 


98 


IS    IT     I 


ing  quotation  from  Granville's  Treatise  on  Sud- 
den Death  :  "  Let  the  legislator  and  moralist  look 
to  it,  for  as  sure  as  there  is  in  any  nation  a  hid- 
den tampering  with  infant  life,  whether  frequent 
or  occasional,  systematic  or  accidental,  so  sure 
will  the  chastisement  of  the  Almighty  fall  on 
such  a  nation."  * 

I  pass  now  to  discuss  these  rights  of  the  hus- 
band still  further,  and  to  see  whether  they  are 
unaccompanied,  or  not,  by  obligations  which 
should  control  them. 


*  Criminal  Abortion  in  America.   Philadelphia,  i860. 
Title-page. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  99 

V.    Are  these  Rights  Absolute,  or  Recip- 
rocal, WITH  Duties? 

In  the  first  place,  let  us  see  under  what  circum- 
stances the  rights  I  have  now  described  were 
assumed,  and  whether  it  was  by  the  power  of 
the  strong  over  the  weak,  or  from  a  belief  that 
woman  was  in  reality  inferior  to  man.  as  well  as 
physically  not  as  fully  developed,  or  whether  it 
was  from  a  belief  that  such  assumption  was  in- 
tended by  the  Creator,  and  inculcated  both  by 
natural  and  i-evealed  religion,  and  m  the  latter  in- 
stance by  both  the  old  and  the  newer  Scripture. 

Probably  all  these  arguments  have  weighed, 
but  stronger  than  these  even  has  been  possession, 
that  nine  points  of  the  law.  Custom,  handed 
down  from  father  to  son,  from  time  immemorial, 
has  sanctioned  what  so  often  results  in  tyranny. 
Appeals  are  made  to  Genesis,  to  the  Proverbs, 
and  to  the  Acts  of  the  Apostles,  and  it  is  asserted 
that  the  inferiority  of  woman  is  thus  proved  to  a 
demonstration,  just  as  the  Bible  has  been  made 
to  evidence  the  divinity  of  the  institution  of 
slavery,  and  to  disprove  —  for  some  still  assert 
8 


lOO  IS    IT    li 

this  —  the  truths  of  geology,  astronomy,  and  all 
other  natural  science.  If  no  man  should  put 
asunder  those  whom  God  has  joined,  we  must 
confess,  in  all  conjugal  matters  at  least,  their  full 
equality ;  and  in  relinquishing  the  title  of  lord 
and  master,  we  must  also  waive  the  point  of  un- 
reasoning and  blind  obedience,  and  so  shall  we 
gain  the  more  complete  obedience  where  such  is 
really  to  be  desired. 

It  is  very  probable — for  such  are  the  teachings 
of  the  most  philosophical  anatomists  of  our  time 
—  that,  so  far  as  the  mere  structure  of  her  body  is 
concerned,  woman  has  not  attained  so  advanced 
a  stage  of  development  as  man.  It  is  even 
alleged,  by  thoughtful  embryologists,  that  every 
man  during  the  earliest  period  of  his  existence 
was  once  a  woman  ;  that  is  to  say,  that  in  the 
foetal  condition  his  was  at  one  time  identical  with 
the  female  type,  and  that  this  was  subsequently 
outgrown.  There  is  no  doubt  that  many  facts 
support  this  opinion,  as  the  persistence,  for  in- 
stance, in  every  man,  of  a  minute  and  undevel- 
oped womb,*  useless,  save  as  furnishing  one  of 

*  Simpson.     Obstetric  Works,  vol.  ii.  p.  294. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  lOI 

those  homologies  so  abounding  in  the  plan  of  cre- 
ation. Suppose,  however,  that  we  grant  all 
this,  and  that  in  purely  intellectual  matters 
woman  varies  normally  from  man,  as  she  does 
in  physical  strength  ;  we  must  yet  allow  that  in 
moral  vigor,  in  religious  aspiration,  and  faith, 
and  in  all  purely  emotional  attributes,  she  far 
excels  him.  It  is  not  from  accident  that  the 
chaste  and  good  of  all  ages  have  selected  the 
female  rather  than  the  male  as  their  ideal  of 
angels  and  saints  in  heaven  ;  but  it  is  in  tacit  yet 
universal  recognition  of  her  superiority  in  cer- 
tain matters  over  us.  We  men  are  of  the  earth, 
earthy,  but  they  the  gift  of  God  ;  and  such,  in  the 
tradition,  did  Adam  see  in  the  beautiful  mother  of 
mankind.  Well  for  us  all  that  she  gave  to  him 
of  the  tree  of  knowledge,  else,  if  that  tradition 
be  true,  we  ourselves  had  never  been. 

It  is  in  accordance  with  those  differences  in 
feeling,  dependent  upon  differences  of  conforma- 
tion, growing  with  their  growth  and  increasing 
with  the  years,  and  not  in  consequence  of  custom 
alone,  that,  just  as  obtains  with  the  lower  mam- 
mals, tlie  advances  towards  the  union  of  the  sexes 


103  IS    IT    I.-* 

are  made  almost  entirely  by  the  man.  He  is 
impelled  by  that  strong  and  almost  irresistible 
instinct  by  which  the  future  peopling  of  the  earth 
is  determined,  while  in  the  woman  it  is,  to  a 
great  extent,  the  subsequently  awakened  emotion 
of  maternal  love,  which,  far  stronger  in  her  than 
that  for  simple  congress,  leads  her  in  very  truth 
to  lay  down  iT^r  life  for  her  children  ;  for  this  in 
every  household,  where  husband  and  wife  live 
in  accordance  with  the  laws  of  their  being,  is  the 
practical  result.  The  mother  may  live  to  a  good 
old  age,  but  still  the  best  energies  of  her  life 
are  expended  on  her  offspring,  in  rearing  and 
caring  for  them  till  able  to  shift  for  themselves  ; 
and  in  this  lies,  or  should  lie,  her  highest  hap- 
piness. 

I  shall  be  told  that  many  marriages  are  un- 
fruitful. Granted.  That  many  must  necessarily 
be  such.  Also  granted,  but  with  a  limitation. 
Every  man  of  the  present  day  knows  that,  of 
these  unfruitful  marriages,  by  far  the  majority 
are  such  from  intention.  We  seldom  now  sec 
himilies  of  any  size  ;  and  yet  w^omcn  conceive 
as  e;i';i!y  and  men  are  as  potent  as  in  the  olden 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  IO3 

time.  Every  physician  who  has  considered  the 
subject  will  aver  that  my  statement  is  true,  and 
will  acknowledge,  moreover,  that  of  the  unfruit- 
ful marriages  where  children  are  yet  desired,  the 
barrenness  of  the  woman  is  often  owing  to  a 
brace  of  causes  that  are  ffequently  easily  re- 
moved by  treatment ;  in  the  one  instance  there 
being  some  form  of  organic  displacement  or 
physical  obstruction  on  the  wife's  part,  in  the 
other  temporary  or  persistent  impotence  on  that 
of  the  husband,  generally  owing  to  previous 
careless  or  unphysiological  ways  of  life.  It  is 
folly  to  think,  as  so  many  do,  that  early  years 
of  intentional  childlessness  can  be  atoned  for  by 
subsequent  yeai's  of  intentional  plenty.  Those 
who  begin  by  thwarting  the  laws  of  nature  very 
constantly  find  that  in  later  life,  when  mere  sen- 
sations pall,  and  physical  weariness  supplants 
the  freshness  and  ardor  of  youth,  these  laws,  dis- 
obeyed, will  in  turn  disappoint  them.  This  sub- 
ject is  of  such  importance,  and  is  so  little  under- 
stood, that  I  must  here  quote  again  from  one 
of  my  own  previous  writings  upon  the  subject ; 
indeed  so  few  physicians  have  dared  to  write  or 


I04 


IS    IT    If 


apparently  to,  think  of  these  matters,  that  there 
are  hardly  others  to  whom  I  can  refer. 

In  a  paper  read  before  the  Massachusetts 
Medical  Society  in  May  of  last  year,  and  pub- 
lished in  one  of  the  New  York  professional 
periodicals,*  I  have  laid  down  the  followiig  series 
of  propositions,  which  are  startling,  but  undoubt- 
edly true. 

"  I,  That  while,  owing  to  the  advance  of  our 
knowledge  in  the  treatment  of  childbed,  more 
children  are  born  living  than  formerlv,  and  more 
mothers  saved,  and  owing  to  our  wiser  treatment 
of  the  diseases  of  children,  and  their  exposure  to 
better  sanitary  conditions,  a  much  larger  percent- 
age of  them  reach  maturity,  yet  among  the  better 
class  of  inhabitants  fewer  infants  are  born  ;  that 
is  to  say,  that  the  average  number  of  births  to 
each  Protestant  fumily  is  less  than  it  was  half 
a  century  ago. 

"  2.  That  of  the  pregnancies  in  reality  occiu- 
ring  in  this  class,  fewer  reach  completion. 

"  3.  That  of  the  instances  of  conjugal  inter- 
course taking  place,  fewer  result  in  impregnation. 

*  New  York  Medical  Journal,  Sept.,  1866,  p.  423. 


A    BOOK    FOR     iVEKY    MAN.  I05 

"  4.  That  of  these  incompleted  pregnancies 
and  apparent  instances  of  sterility,  a  large  prD- 
portion  are  intentional. 

"  5.  That  such  wilful  interference  with  the 
laws  of  nature  is  productive,  as  might  have  been 
expected,  of  a  vast  amount  of  disease  —  disease 
whose  causation  has  been  unexplained,  and 
whose  character  is  made  evident  alike  by  the 
confessions  of  the  patient,  and  by  the  results 
of  a  more  natural  course  of  life. 

"  6.  That  intentional  abortions  are  a  greater 
tax  upon  a  woman's  health,  and  more  surely  fol- 
lowed bv  uterine  disease  than  pregnancies  com- 
pleted, and  this  even  though  the  patient  may 
seem  to  rally  from  them  with  impunity  —  the 
result  showing  itself,  if  not  immediately,  then 
after  a  lapse  of  years,  or  at  the  turn  of  life. 

"  7.  That  the  systematic  prevention  of  preg- 
nancy, by  whatever  means,  is  also  followed  by 
prejudicial  effects,  affecting  the  nervous  and  the 
uterine  systems,  not  unfrequently  producing  ste- 
rility from  an  organic  cause,  and  laying  the 
foundation  of  serious  or  incurable  disease. 

"  8.  That  when  such  pn-vention  is  occasioned 


I06  IS    IT    1? 

by  incompleted  intercourse,  by  whatever  means 
effected,  the  effect  is  equally  bad  for  the  hus- 
band's health  as  for  that  of  the  wife  —  there 
resulting  dyspepsia,  functional  or  organic  ner- 
vous disease,  and  at  times  impotence,  temporary 
or  persistent." 

It  will  be  seen  by  the  above,  not  merely  that 
in  many  instil nces  of  unfruitful  marriage  the 
barrenness  is  intentional,  but  that  thus  to  trifle 
with  the  full  gratification  of  our  natural  instincts, 
whenever  the  rein  is  given  to  them,  is  fraught 
with  the  most  detrimental  consequences  to  both 
parties  concerned,  —  to  us  men,  as  well  as  to  our 
associates,  —  and  this  in  either  event :  for  if  we 
permit  or  counsel  them  to  destroy  their  unborn 
oflspring,  their  health  is  verv  likely  to  be  thereby 
undermined,  and  our  conjugal  intercourse  with 
them  very  materially  interfered  with,  or  perma- 
nently ended ;  and  if,  on  the  other  hand,  we 
allow  ourselves  to  use  them  merely  as  mistresses, 
we  not  only  are  liable  to  seriously  injure  their 
health,  but  are  almost  sure  to  ruin  our  own. 
So  that  in  both  instances  we  are  the  losers. 

It  will  tl  IS  be  seen  that  certain  of  the  conjugal 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  I07 

rights  that  are  assumed  by  men,  are,  whether 
absokite  or  not,  of  a  very  questionable  character ; 
harmful  to  our  moral  natures,  destructive  to  our 
physical  constitutions,  and  much  more  wisely 
honored  in  the  breach  than  in  the  observance. 

How  is  it  with  others?  Some  may  allege  that 
while  they  would  neither  approve  the  wilful 
interference  with  or  prevention  of  impregnation, 
no  harm  can  surely  attach  to  very  frequent  indul- 
gence in  what  tltey  call  living  a  perfectly  natui'al 
life,  that  is  to  say,  giving  themselves  up,  fully 
and  constantly,  to  unbridled  sexual  license. 

To  this  I  reply  that  some  men  are  brutes. 
Even  among  husbands,  pledged  truly  to  love  and 
cherish  those  who  generally  give  far  more  real 
affection  than  they  receive,  there  exist  the  veriest 
satyrs,  eroto-maniacs,  madmen.  Knowing  that 
they  are  endangering  their  wife's  life,  that  they 
are  causing  her  health  seriously  to  suffer,  or  to 
be  ruined,  they  still  persist  in  their  demands  for 
what  at  the  best  is  but  a  momentary  gratification, 
and  when  begrudged,  becomes  the  most  selfish 
and  the  basest  of  all  pleasures  ;  and  this  they 
do  in  the  face  of  remonstrance,  entreaties,  tears. 


108  IS        IT        ^'^ 

Many  a  married  man  has,  as  I  have  said,  vir- 
tually committed  a  rape  upon  his  wife  :  though 
the  crime  may  be  unrecognized  as  such  by  the 
law,  it  is  none  the  less  this  in  fact,  the  element 
of  consent  having  been  wholly  wanting. 

There  are  others  of  our  number,  who,  kind  at 
heart  and  not  so  selfish,  equally  err  through 
ignorance  of  the  real  nature  of  the  case,  or  from 
inconsiderateness.  It  is  only  of  late  that  even 
physicians  are  awakening  to  the  importance  of 
the  manifold  special  diseases  of  women,  and  to 
the  very  existence  of  many  of  them.  It  is  often 
asked  if  these  diseases  are  not  a  new  thing,  if 
they  have  not  indeed  wholly  sprung  up  during 
the  present  century.  This  may  be  true  to  a  cer- 
tain extent,  in  consequence  of  certain  variations 
from  the  normal  standard  of  living ;  but  there  is 
no  doubt,  on  the  other  hand,  that  hosts  of  women 
used  to  die  of  disease,  then  undetected  or  wholly 
misuiaderstood,  that  is  now  readily  cured.  Among 
these  diseases,  all  of  which  are  enshrouded  by 
the  veil  of  a  woman's  natural  delicacy,  but 
which,  involving  as  they  do  the  very  existence 
of  social  life,  come  directly  within  the  physician's 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  IO9 

province,  and  that  also  of  simple  jommon  sense, 
—  among  them  there  is  a  very  large  class,  closely 
related  to  the  subject  of  our  present  inquiry, 
those  occasioned  or  aggravated  by  excessive  sex- 
ual indulgence.  I  shall,  of  course,  refrain  from 
speaking  more  explicitly  than  I  have  now  done, 
but  will  merely  say  that  we  may  all  of  us  be 
thankful  that  our  development  was  carried  to  the 
positive  extreme,  and  that  we  are  not  women. 
They  are  subject  to  an  immense  variety  of  dis- 
ease, of  which,  from  personal  experience,  we 
know  nothing,  and  it  is  often  attended  by  the 
most  exquisite  suffering.  This  they  are  prone  to 
conceal ;  far  from  generally  exaggerating  it,  they 
endeavor  to  undervalue  it,  and  suffer,  with  a 
fortitude  that  we  could  but  feebly  emulate,  in 
silence.  There  are  exceptions  to  this  statement, 
it  is  true,  but  they  are  still  but  exceptions,  and  so 
p'Dve  the  rule.  Even  where  such  do  exist,  there 
is  usually  present  great  nervous  excitement  or 
exaltation,  which  is  often  much  more  difficult  to 
endure  than  direct  physical  pain.  Far  from 
ridiculing  or  chiding  these  sufterers,  they  deserve 
and   should  vecei\  e  our  hearty  sympathy,  which 


no  IS  IT  ir' 

is  by  no  means  sure,  as  it  is  so  commonly  sup- 
posed to  do,  of  evoking  a  fresh  accession  of  the 
malady.  Many  a  heart  is  b;ol<en  by  the  sneer  of 
disbelief  at  the  gentle  complaint  of  bodily  an- 
guish ;  many  a  divorce  takes  its  origin  in  the 
charge  of  lost  affection,  because  a  wife  refuses  to 
be  accessory  to  her  own  slow  destruction ;  in 
many  cases  she  prefers  to  this  disgrace,  and 
resorts  to,  suicide.  These  are  facts,  instances 
of  all  of  which  have  been  known  to  me.  There 
are  men,  and  very  many  women,  who  will  thank 
me  for  so  plainly  stating  them.  Men  do  1  say? 
They  are  facts  that  should  be  made  known  to 
every  man,  that,  so  warned,  he  may  live  a  truly 
manly,  generous,  and  dutiful  life. 

For  these  rights,  of  which  I  have  been  speak- 
ing, are,  in  reality,  not  absolute,  but  reciprocal 
with  duties.  How  can  we  ourselves  expect 
enjoyment,  if  perchance  we  are  inflicting  terrible 
suffering?  How  can  we  look  for  constant  and 
untiring  affection,  if,  inconsiderate  or  brutal,  we 
compel  what  would  be  withheld  perhaps,  how- 
ever reluctantly,  by  ill  health?  Is  it  thus  we 
would  cherish?     As  we  sow,  even  so  must  we 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  1 1  I 

reap.  No  true  conjugal  enjoyment  can  exist, 
unless  it  is  mutual.  We  cannot  be  loved,  unless 
we  are  respected.  We  cannot  be  respected,  even 
bv  our  v^ives,  unless  we  respect  them.  The  true 
rule  should  be  to  take  only  what  is  freely  given  ; 
were  this  the  case,  far  more  freely  would  gifts  be 
offered. 

VI.     Should    mere   Instinct,   or    Reason, 
BE  THE  Rule? 

I  have  said  that  while  some  men  are  brutal 
in  their  conjugal  relations,  others  are  simply 
inconsiderate;  and  I  have  referred  somewhat 
plainly  to  very  important  matters  that  "prurient 
prudes"  would  keep  concealed.  I  have  ex- 
pressed my  condemnation  of  the  vile  practices 
by  which  the  size  of  families  is  kept  in  these 
latter  days  at  the  minimum.  In  ancient  com- 
monwealths, the  most  fruitful  mother  was  con- 
sidered to  have  deserved  well  of  her  nation,  and 
a  statue  was  erected  in  her  honor.  Now,  on  the 
contrary,  such  a  wife  is  considered  as  almost  the 
t(rc:itest  misfm-tune  that  can  occur  to  a  man,  and 


112  IS    IT    ir 

women  have  learned  to  considei*  the  carrying 
into  effect  the  noblest  purposes  of  their  being  as 
alike  a  disaster  and  a  disgrace. 

There  are  some  husbands  who,  while  shocked 
at  the  idea  of  interfering  in  any  way  with  the 
natural  course  of  events,  should  such  be  really 
established,  yet  consider  excessive  carnal  indul- 
gence necessaiy  for  the  preservation  of  their 
own  physical  vigor  —  a  most  mistaken  opinion. 
There  are  others  who  could  not  be  persuaded  to 
resort  to  direct  measures  of  a  preventive  charac- 
ter, and  yet  indulge  in  excessive  sexual  inter- 
coui'se  for  this  very  end,  on  the  ground,  say  they, 
that  prostitutes,  in  proportion  as  they  are  con- 
stant in  their  attention  to  their  vile  trade,  are 
usually  childless ;  and  this  opinion,  true  to  a 
certain  extent,  is  yet  in  its  effects  as  prejudicial 
as  the  other.  The  sterility  of  prostitutes  is  in 
great  measure  owing  to  disease  that  has  been 
occasioned  by  the  constant  local  excitement 
to  which  they  are  exposed ;  I  am  not  now 
speaking  of  lesions  of  a  specific  or  infectious 
character,  but  merely  of  those  diseases  which 
may  be  occasioned  in  any  wife  when  treated  bj 


A    BOOK   FOR    EVERY    MAN.  113 

her  husband  as  a  prostitute.  It  is  well  known 
also  that  the  common  woman  usually  soon  breaks 
down  in  health,  and  dies  early,  not  so  much 
from  the  other  forms  of  debauchery  to  which  she 
is  exposed,  as  for  the  i^eason  to  which  I  have 
now  referred.  Woe  therefore  to  the  man  who 
would  thus  cause  within  his  own  house  disease 
and  death. 

As  to  the  former  of  the  excuses  given  :  we 
are  all  of  us  prone  in  early  life  to  excess,  and 
especially  so  during  the  first  years  following  mar- 
riage. As  we  grow  older,  we  are  compelled  to 
live  more  moderately,  and  it  becomes  very 
necessary  for  us  to  apply  the  brakes  when  be- 
ginning to  descend  the  down  grade  of  life.  Of- 
ten, after  a  period  of  abstinence  or  semi-absti- 
nence, anything  like  the  license  of  earlier  life 
becomes  dangerous,  or  even  fatal ;  and  this  it  is 
that  explains  the  rapid  decadence  so  often  ob- 
served in  men  who  have  married  late  in  life,  or 
in  widowers,  who,  after  a  long  period  of  rest, 
have  taken  to  themselves  a  youthful  spouse. 

In  advising,  as  I  am  compelled  to  do,  moder- 
ation, that  golden  mean,  wherein   lie   the  highest 


I  14  IS    TT    I  ." 

duty  and  the  truest  happiness,  it  is  necessary 
that  I  refer  to  a  still  additional  class  of  husbands 
—  those  who,  endeavoring  to  be  reasonable  in 
their  demands,  yet  manage,  for  one  reason  or  an- 
other, to  keep  their  wives  in  the  state  of  gesta- 
tion the  greater  part  of  the  time.  From  such, 
physicians  often  hear  complaints ;  but  not  so 
often  as  from  their  consorts.  Extremes,  it  is  true, 
are  dangerous:  it  is  almost  sure  to  be  detrimen- 
tal to  a  woman  living  in  wedlock  to  intentionally 
continue  sterile  :  it  is  frequently  depressing  to  a 
woman's  health  to  be  allowed  no  interval  of  rest 
between  her  pregnancies.  This  fact,  however, 
aftbrds  no  excuse,  as  it  is  constantly  constrained 
to  do,  for  preventing  impregnation  or  inducing 
a  miscarriage.  The  remedy  lies  often  in  the 
strictest  continence,  and  in  continence  alone  ; 
for  whatever  care  be  used  as  to  the  observance 
of  certain  times  and  seasons,  —  and  such  is  now 
tlic  popular  knowledge  of  physiology,  that  even 
little  boys  and  girls  know  at  what  times  concep- 
tion is,  and  at  what  times  it  is  not,  probable,  — 
accidents  will  sometimes  occur.  Ova,  it  is  true, 
are  probably  only  disengaged  from  the  ovary  at 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  II5 

the  menstrual  period  ;  but  these  in  exceptional 
cases  may  be,  and  undoubtedly  often  are,  re- 
tained for  a  longer  time  than  usual  in  a  place  and 
condition  favorable  to  impregnation.  Moreover, 
while  nursing  women,  as  is  generally  supposed, 
do  not  often  conceive  until  after  the  re-establish- 
ment of  the  catamenia,  still  they  sometimes  seem 
to  do  so  ;  the  error  probably  being  one  of  ob- 
servation, and  either  from  a  colorless  leucor- 
rhoea  having  taken  the  jDlace  of  the  usual  san- 
guineous discharge,  or  from  the  latter  having  been 
just  about  to  show  itself,  and  having  been  sup- 
pressed, as  an  effect,  by  impregnation. 

However  this  may  be,  it  is  clearly  the  hus- 
band's duty  to  care  fbr  his  wife  rather  than  for 
himself.  Every  married  woman,  save  in  very  ex- 
ceptional cases,  which  should  only  be  allowed  to 
be  such  by  the  decision  of  a  competent  physician, 
every  married  woman,  until  near  the  so-called 
turn  of  life,  should  occasionally  bear  a  child  ; 
not  as  a  duty  to  the  community  merely,  nor  a 
compliment  to  her  husband,  nor  even  an  addi- 
tional bond  of  union  between  him  and  herself, 
but   as  the  best  means  of  insuring  her  own  per- 


Il6  IS    IT    I? 

manent  good  health.  How  frequently  shoukl 
this  be?  Usually  the  interval  should  be  from 
two  to  two  and  a  half  or  three  years,  so  as  to 
allow  a  sufficient  time  for  nursing,  so  importaiil 
both  for  the  welfare  of  the  child  and  its  mother, 
and  an  interval  of  subsequent  rest.  Did  women 
half  appreciate  the  importance  of  lactation  as  a 
means,  by  establishing  for  a  sufficiently  long 
period  a  tendency  of  the  circulation  towards  the 
breasts  and  away  from  the  womb,  of  averting 
many  of  the  common  varieties  of  uterine  disease, 
fashion  in  this  matter  would  have  fewer  votaries. 
Is  it  asked,  whether  by  my  above  remarks  I 
intend  to  imply  that  the  conjugal  approach  should 
never  be  indulged  in,  save  for  the  sole  purpose  of 
begetting  children?  I  hold  no  such  opinion. 
The  case  is  a  very  parallel  one  to  that  concern- 
ing diet.  Had  it  been  intended  that  we  should 
confine  ourselves,  in  amount  and  character  ot 
food,  to  only  so  much  as  would  barely  support 
life,  and  this  of  the  simplest  character,  we  should 
hardly  have  been  supplied  with  such  exquisitely 
sensitive  gustatory  nerves.  It  cannot  be  said  that 
this  was  ner;essary  to  insure  a  proper  consumption 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  II7 

of  food,  for  the  languor  and  craving  induced  by 
fasting  would  have  been  sufficient  for  this.  The 
pleasures  of  the  table,  restrained  within  due 
bounds,  serve  not  only  to  enhance  the  comfort  of 
the  individual,  but  they  form  that  centre  of  so- 
cial attraction  which  sei-ves  to  cement  friendships, 
and  to  increase  as  well  as  to  render  permanent  the 
sweet  communion  of  each  regularly  assembling 
family  circle.  And  so  with  the  pleasures  of 
venery.  Restrained  within  due  bounds  as  to 
frequency,  they  serve  to  add  a  charm  to  life,  and 
to  give  fresh  courage  for  enduring  all  its  vicissi- 
tudes. But  to  gain  these,  one  single  rule  must 
be  observed  :  it  is  this  —  that  the  husband  compel 
his  wife  to  nothing  that  she  herself  does  not 
freely  assent  to.  A  forced  union  is  even  worse 
than  the  solitary  vice,  whose  baneful  character 
was  alluded  to  in  an  earlier  portion  of  this  essay. 
It  is  even  worse,  for  it  is  compelling  an  unwilling 
and  often  a  chaste-minded  person  to  pander  to  the 
basest  of  lusts.  When  such  habits  exist,  we  are  not 
wholly  to  blame  the  woman  if  she  seek  to  avert 
ner  impending  maternity,  even  though  at  the 
risk  of  her  life  ;  forced  upon  her,  it  is  repulsive, 


Il8  IS    IT    I? 

and  her  whole  nature  rebels,  even  her  most  nat- 
ural of  instincts.  It  is  rather  the  husband  who 
is  to  be  condemned ;  his  selfish  hardness  of 
heart,  his  brutality,  are  the  cause  of  her  crime. 

VII.    Arguments   and  Counter  Arguments 
AS  to  Divorce. 

The  ease  with  which  marriages  are  consum- 
mated in  this  country,  and  their  bonds  loosed 
again,  are  among  the  features  of  our  social  sys- 
tem' that  are  most  wonderful  to  foreigners.* 
Some  of  our  States  have  acquired  an  unenviable 
reputation  as  places  of  unshacklement  for  those 
who  tire  of  their  self-imposed  burdens,  and  jour- 
neys have  repeatedly  been  made;,  of  hundreds  of 
miles,  that,  hy  a  short  sojourn  at  this  distance 
from  home,  the  lenient  legal  requisitions  might 
be  complied  with,  and  the  knot  unloosed  that  in 
old  time  only  death  could  sever. 

*  The  reader  will  find  this  subject  fully  discussed  in  a 
late  publication  upon  Marriage  in  the  United  States  by 
Mons.  A.  earlier,  of  Paris,  and  Dr.  B.  J.  JefFrier.,  of 
Boston. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  II9 

Of  the  thousand  reasons  alleged  for  divorce, 
most  of  them  depend  upon  the  simple  cause  for 
unhappiness  I  have  already  indicated.  The  par- 
ties tire  of  each  other,  the  wife  wearied  by  her 
husband's  unreasonableness,  and  the  husband, 
still  more  unreasonable,  complaining  of  the  very 
weariness  he  has  himself  occasioned.  Cases 
undoubtedly  occur  where  disability  for  marriage 
originally  existed,  there  being  some  physical 
impediment  or  some  disenabling  disease  of 
body  or  mind,  such  as  is  adjudged  by  courts 
to  be  a  sufficient  bar.  As  to  these,  however, 
the  progress  of  medical  and  surgical  science 
has  rendered  it  now  possible,  in  many  instances, 
to  effect  a  cure,  and  to  change  the  husband's  or 
wife's  disappointment  into  joy.  In  many  of  the 
instances  referred  to,  the  parties  live  unhappily 
on,  dreading  the  scandal  of  a  public  application 
for  divorce  or  trial  in  court,  and  ignorant  that 
relief  is  ever  otherwise  possible.  The  extent  at 
times  of  their  unhappiness  may  be  judged,  when 
it  is  stated  that,  in  cases  of  deformity,  men  have 
repeatedly,  through  mistake,  been  married  as 
women,  and  women  as  men.     For  every  instance 


I20  IS    IT    It 

of  the  kind  that  has  been  publicly  reported,  it  is 
probable  that  a  hundred  have  occurred. 

Other  cases  undoubtedly  exist,  where,  for 
proved  and  patent  unfaithfulness  upon  the  part 
of  one  of  the  parties,  it  is  rendered  impossible 
for  the  other  to  remain  conjoined  in  wedlock. 
I  would  not  palliate  such  wickedness  as  adul- 
tery, but  would  merely  state,  from  studying  such 
cases,  —  for  they  fall  within  the  scope  of  my  ob- 
servation both  as  a  teacher  and  an  expert,  —  that 
at  times  the  oflfenderhas  been  actuated  by  motives 
of  jealousy  or  of  revenge:  fancying  himself  or 
herself  sinned  against  in  this  same  identical  man- 
ner, the  false  step  has  been  taken  as  an  offset, 
just  as  in  many  instances  the  husband  has  gone 
from  home  and  astray,  because  he  honestly 
thought  that  his  wife  had  deliberately  ceased  to 
love  him,  while  she,  poor  creature,  pining  for 
him  at  heart,  was  yet  compelled  to  deny  him 
her  fi^vors,  on  account  of  bodily  suffering  that 
perhaps  he  himself  had  occasioned. 

There  are  still  other  causes  of  divorce.  Their 
importance  is  so  great,  and  the  subject  so  closely 
concerns  every  citizen,  that  I  have  no  hesitation 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  IJI 

m  being  even  more  explicit.  In  many  cases  the 
charge  of  infidelity  is  rested  upon  the  communi- 
cation, or  supposed  communication  of  infectious 
disease  from  one  of  the  parties  to  the  other. 
Often  the  charge  is  true,  often  it  is  false,  at  least 
so  far  as  the  imputation  of  sinful  conduct  is 
concerned.  I  disbelieve  the  statement  so  often 
made,  that  either  one  or  the  other  of  the  two 
forms  of  specific  disease  has  been  occasioned, 
in  the  adult,  by  other  than  by  sexual  contact. 
The  allegations  as  to  water  closets,  soiled  linen, 
&c.,  it  has  irreverently  been  remarked,  should  be 
allowed  weight  only  in  the  cases  of  clergymen, 
or  others  supposed  by  their  position  to  be  above 
the  scandalous  practices  of  the  every  day  world. 
There  is  no  doubt  that  to  children  such  disease 
has  been  communicated  by  suckling  an  unclean 
wet  nurse,  or  by  her  usirkg  to  bathe  it  the  foul 
ra;.js  with  which  she  had  cleansed  her  own  sores. 
1m  the  case  of  adults,  however,  there  are  certain 
inistakcs  that  can  be  made,  that  indeed  have 
been  made,  and  have  plunged  families  into  the 
deepest  distress,  the  suspected  party  being  wholly 
innocent.     One  of  these  errors  depends  upon  the 


132  IS    IT    ir 

fact  that  the  primary  lesion  of  the  most  dreadful 
disease  of  unchastity  may  escape  even  the  most 
careful  scrutiny,  or  from  its  insignificant  appear- 
ance may  be  considered  of  trifling  importance. 
The  disease  being  inheritable,  may  yet  not  be 
evinced  in  husband  or  wife  save  as  tainting  their 
children,  the  unmistakable  signs  of  such  taint 
being  familiar  to  every  physician,  and  upon  this 
discovery  of  infidelity,  it  may  be  attributed  to  the 
vv^rong  party.  Another  source  of  error  is,  that 
the  other  result  of  unfaithfulness  may  be  simu- 
lated by  the  effects  of  peculiar  irritations,  or  of 
the  chastest  congress  under  certain  circumstan- 
ces. Of  this  fact  there  is  not  the  slightest  doubt. 
Where  none  of  these  causes  exist,  the  fire 
that  consumes  the  bonds  of  marriage  as  tow,  is 
kindled  from  a  spark,  the  veriest  trifle  in  itself, 
some  unkind  or  careless  word  or  look,  perhaps 
unnoticed  even  by  the  offender.  This  spark, 
through  our  own  innate  perversit}',  for  I  contend 
that  here  as  elsewhere,  in  sexual  relations,  the 
fault  lies  generally  with  the  man,  or  through  the 
malicious  or  ill-judged  meddling  of  third  parties, 
is  fanned  into  flame,  and  then  the  work  is  done  : 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  1 23 

a  separation,  with  or  without  the  formahty  of  a 
legal  divorce,  becomes  but  too  often  inevitable,  oi 
if  not  carrying  matters  to  this  extent,  perhaps  for 
the  sake  of  the  children,  the  parties  still  live 
together,  united  in  semblance,  but  in  reality 
living  the  most  dreary  of  prison  lives,  each  vir- 
tually changed  to  a  foe. 

For  these  sad  experiences  is  there  no  remedy  ? 
Some  would  find  it  in  legislation,  and  w^ould  so 
extend  the  legal  grounds  for  divorce  that  it  might 
become  a  relief  or  a  luxury  within  the  reach  of 
every  one.  To  this,  however,  there  are  many 
grave  objections  of  such  importance  that  they 
must  everywhere  be  acknowledged ;  enumerat- 
ing some  of  them,  I  shall  not  attempt  to  jd resent 
them  all,  for  my  remarks  upon  this  subject  are 
not  intended  to  be  exhaustive,  but  are  only  col- 
lateral to  the  general  inquiry  we  have  been 
pursuing. 

First.  Were  divorces  made  more  common, 
there  would  be  far  more  children  and  invalid 
women  thrown  upon  other  pei-sons  than  their 
legitimate  owners  for  support,  that  is  to  say, 
upon  the  community.     The  long  and  bitter  trials 


124  IS    IT    I? 

that  take  place  between  parents  for  the  custody 
of  their  children,  do  not  always  rest  upon  paren- 
tal affection ;  they  are  sometimes  based  upon 
spite  or  revenge. 

Secondly.  The  weaknesses  and  evil  passions  of 
mankind  are  only  controlled,  to  a  great  degree,  by 
the  existence  of  law,  to  thwart  which  is  attended 
by  personal  detriment.  Remove  or  relax  the 
statutes,  and  an  inducement,  as  it  were,  is  held 
out  to  baseness  and  to  crime.  "  The  saints,"  said 
the  wise  observer  I  have  already  quoted,  "  are  all 
in  heaven."  We  are  all  of  us  mortal,  and  prone 
to  selfishness,  to  i-etort  when  irritated,  to  fly 
into  passion  when  retorted  to.  There  is  too 
much  reason  to  believe  that  were  divorces  pos- 
sible wherever,  at  one  time  or  another,  they 
have  been  longed  for,  scarce  a  house  on  earth 
would  stand.  The  test  would  be  too  much  for 
poor  human  nature.  If  he  would  challenge  this 
assertion,  let  every  man  first  ask  himself  "  Is  it 
I?",  and  then  he  may  look  into  the  mysteries  of 
the  circle  of  neighbors  surrounding  him. 

It  has  very  truly  been  said  that  every  person 
in  this  world   bears   his  cross,  and  that  in  every 


A    BOOK   FOR    EVERY  MAN.  1 25 

house  there  is  a  skeleton.  The  closet  may  be 
adroitly  concealed,  and  its  door  may  be  kept 
closed,  but  though  the  dry  bones  never  rattle, 
though  indeed  they  drop  into  dust,  yet  the 
knowledge  that  they  are  surely  there,  robs 
home  life  to  many  of  half  or  of  all  its  charm. 
In  the  little  chafes  and  ills,  the  disappointments 
and  sorrows  of  married  life,  the  rule  of  safety  is 
to  bear  and  forbear,  recollecting  that  every  really 
chivalrous  or  whole-hearted  man  should,  seek,  as 
the  stronger,  to  bear  more  than  an  even  half  of 
the  natural  burden. 

Thirdly.  Were  divorces  more  common,  or 
more  readily  obtained,  the  very  foundation  of 
all  society  and  civil  government  would  be  up- 
rooted. The  stability  of  the  state  rests  upon 
that  of  the  elements  of  which  it  is  composed. 
When  these  return  to  chaos,  or  dissolve  them- 
selves into  the  thinnest  air,  the  commonwealth 
itself  must  prove  a  bubble,  collapsing  as  soon  as 
pricked  by  circumstance. 

And,  fourthly  To  seek  peace  and  mental  quiet 
through  a  divorce  is,  as  a  general  thing,  but 
cowardice.     To  encourage  them  is,  therefore,  to 


126  IS  IT  ir 

offer  a  premium  for  pusillanimity.  Were  mar- 
riages, or  rather  engagements,  contracted  less 
hastily,  and  never,  as  is  sometimes  confessed, 
from  curiosity,  coquetry,  or  for  fun,  much,  very 
much  evil  and  suffering  would  be  prevented. 
Men  and  women  are  often  but  the  silliest  of 
children,  playing  with  each  other's  hearts  as 
though  they  were  toys,  and  sowing  for  them- 
selves and  fox-  each  other  a  hai'vest  of  life-long 
misery.  I  am  writing  no  homily.  I  am  stating 
what  every  man  who  reads  this  knows  to  be  the 
fact,  and  there  is  not  a  single  one  of  us,  however 
happy  his  present  relation,  who  has  not  some 
careless,  or  rude,  or  positively  unkind  word 
or  act  to  regret,  possibly  to  bitterly  repent  him- 
self of.  We  inay  well  excuse  women  for  the 
witching,  though  sometimes  galling,  arts  they 
practise  on  us,  for  it  is  but  a  part  of  their  charm. 
Let  us,  however,  never  excuse  ourselves  for  in- 
flicting hurt  upon  them,  or  disaster.  If  carelessly 
done,  it  should  be  sincerely  regretted.  No  gen- 
tleman could  commit  such  an  act  with  malice 
aforethought. 

Were  these  the  rules  of  life  generally  followed, 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  137 

and  were  they  all  embodied  in  the  single  line, 
"  To  err  is  human,  to  forgive  divine,"  divorces 
would  no  more  be  thought  of,  and  we  should 
taste  even  in  this  world  that  best  of  refreshments, 
the  sweet  sleep  of  the  just. 

VIII.  —  A  Peea  for  Woman. 

In  bringing  this  essay,  which  I  hope  has  not 
wholly  been  a « tedious  one  to  my  readers,  to 
a  close,  I  cannot  do  better  than  recapitulate  my 
reasons  for  writing  it,  the  main  argument  that  I 
have  advanced,  and  the  end  or  eflect  I  have 
labored  to  accomplish,  the  latter  being  to  cure, 
as  a  physician,  the  great  and  festering  sore  on 
our  body  politic,  corrupting  its  life-blood  and 
threatening  its  very  existence. 

I  have  endeavored  to  discuss  the  relations  of 
the  sexes  to  each  other  in  their  social  bearings 
and  from  a  professional  standpoint,  and  have  been 
moved  so  to  do  from  a  belief,  resting  upon  my 
own  careful  investigations  into  the  subject  as 
a  medical  man,  and  upon  the  confessions  of 
many  men  and  the  allegations  of  many  women, 


I3S  IS    IT    I? 

that  these  relations  are  v'ery  frequently  unlike 
what  they  should  be  in  the  better,  the  more 
respectable  walks  of  life.  Lest  I  be  said  to  judge 
of  others  by  myself,  I  will  frankly  state  that  I 
make  no  pretence  to  be,  naturally,  more  effemi- 
nate or  more  apathetic  than  the  average  of  men, 
and  I  hold  that  to  most  of  us  refinement,  puri- 
fication, godliness,  come  less  by  grace  than  by 
fire.  Assailed  by  temptations  from  without  and 
within,  all  of  which  are  so  freely  acknowledged 
by  Dr.  Ware,  and  other  candid  writers  upon 
the  subject,  the  boy  runs  a  gantlet  which  is  not 
ended  with  manhood.  We  dig  pitfalls  for  wo- 
men ;  they,  deceived,  if  surviving  their  disap- 
pointment, in  turn  lay  snares  for  us.  Happy 
those  of  either  sex  who  have  never  suffered  them- 
selves, nor  caused  others  to  sutler  ! 

Starting  with  the  premises  that  for  much  the 
greater  part  of  the  domestic  woes  in  this  world 
our  own  sex  is  to  blame,  and  for  much  of  the 
wrong  and  wickedness  committed  by  womeii  we 
ourselves  are  accountable,  I  proceeded  to  show 
that  by  natural  instinct,  divinely  implanted  for 
the    furtherance    of    the    Infinite    Plan,    we    are 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  1 29 

(breed  from  our  earliest  childhood  to  perceive  thiit 
it  is  not  good  to  be  alone,  and  that  both  sexes 
are  impelled,  the  male  by  far  the  more  strongly, 
towards  bodily  union. 

Conscious  or  unconscious  of  the  desires  awak- 
ened within  him,  the  man  instinctively  seeks 
their  gratification.  Sometimes,  and  very  often  it 
is,  in  the  middle  aged  as  in  the  young,  he  en- 
deavors to  find  pleasure  or  relief  in  an  unnatural 
and  wholly  selfish  abasement  of  himself;  some- 
times, and  very  often  this  is  also,  he  consorts 
with  abandoned  women,  and  thus  degi"ades  him- 
self to  their  lev^el ;  sometimes,  though  this  is  com- 
pai^atively  seldom,  until  by  impure  thought  or  im- 
proper deed  he  has  bestained  himself  (for  if  a  man 
lusteth  after  a  woman  hath  he  not  already  com- 
mitted adultery?)  he  seeks  legitimate  happiness 
in  honorable  marriage,  blending  the  physical  with 
the  spiritual  union,  the  earthly  with  that  which 
we  hope  may  survive  all  time. 

By  remarks  such  as  these,  it  will  be  probably 
said  by  those  whose  professions  have  been  of  a 
higher  character  than  their  lives,  I  but  lower  the 
standard,  and  nature,  and  objects  of  marriage.     I 


would  not  intentionally  or  willingly  do  so.  But 
that  it  may  be  seen  that  I  have  reasoned  only  in 
accordance  with  the  fact,  I  shall  draw  once  more 
from  that  unchallenged  authority,  who  was  to 
myself,  while  a  student,  the  same  teacher  I 
would  fain  make  him  to  be  for  my  fellow-men. 
His  voice  now  comes  to  us  from  the  grave ; 
it  is  none  the  less  earnest  or  impressive  for  this. 
"  It  is  easier,"  says  Dr.  Ware,  '"'  to  show  that 
a  remedy  is  needed  than  to  discover  and  apply  it. 
In  this  case,  indeed,  we  encounter  the  most 
difficult  question  presented  to  us  in  the  moral 
education  of  our  race.  At  the  early  age  at 
which  the  evil  begins  to  exist,  when  it  is  grad- 
ually creeping  into  the  thoughts  and  habits  of  the 
child,  how  are  we  to  detect  and  counteract  it? 
In  the  present  state  of  the  relations  between  the 
old  and  the  young,  between  parents  and  children, 
this  is  a  task  of  extreme  delicacy.  It  can  only  be 
done  by  the  judicious  observation  and  manage- 
ment of  the  associations,  the  conversation,  the 
intercourse,  the  amusements,  and  the  habits  of 
children  from  their  earliest  days,  both  in  families 
and  in  schools.  But  alas !  hdw  few  parents, 
how    few   instructors,   have    the    knov^ledge,   the 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  I3 1 

discretion,  the  tact,  the  judgment,  to  qualify 
them  for  such  an  office  !  How  often  must  those 
who  are  fully  aware  of  their  duty  shrink  from  its 
performance,  from  the  apprehension  that  they  may 
suggest,  instead  of  preventing,  the  evil  they  fear! 

"  At  a  later  period  of  life,  the  attempt  to  coun- 
teract the  tendency  to  sensual  indulgence  is  also 
encompassed  with  great  difficulties,  though  there 
is  less  embarrassment  as  to  the  exact  means 
which  are  to  be  put  in  force  to  accomplish 
the  object.  At  this  age,  we  are  to  depend  not 
so  much  upon  the  watchful  care  of  othei's  as 
upon  the  establishment  in  the  mind  of  the  young 
man  himself  of  a  principle  of  resistance  founded 
upon  reason  and  conscience.  We  can  often  suc- 
ceed in  doing  this,  and  although,  where  the  mind 
and  body  have  both  been  debauched  by  early 
training,  the  mind  filled  with  impure  images, 
and  the  body  stimulated  by  unnatural  gratifica- 
tion, the  struggle  is  painful  and  often  protracted, 
yet  it  is  frequently  effectual. 

"  The  young  man  who  becomes  sensible  of  the 
dangers  to  which  he  is  exposed,  should  fortify 
himself  by  every  motive  that  can  aid  him  in  his 
10 


I.V 


IS    IT    I? 


endeavor  to  escape  them.  A  regard  to  reputa- 
tion, the  fear  of  disease,  may  do  much  to  restrain, 
and  these  are  considerations  not  unworthy  of 
regard  :  but  the  surest  safeguard  is  to  be  found  in 
the  cultivation  of  an  internal  principle  of  resist- 
ance to  evil  because  it  is  evil.  Much  may  be 
done  by  those  who  sincerely  aim  to  save  them- 
selves from  th^'se  early  temptations  by  a  sedulous 
discipline  of  the  thoughts,  and  a  corresponding 
carefulness  of  words.  Thoughts  lead  to  words, 
and  words  lead  to  thoughts  ;  both  are  liable  to  be 
consummated  in  actions.  Purity  of  language  in 
the  intercourse  of  society  should  be  regarded  as 
an  essential  quality  of  the  gentleman,  and  the 
want  of  it  exclude  him  from  good  company  as 
much  as  any  other  vulgar  habit. 

"Another  safeguard  is  to  be  found  in  the  culti- 
vation of  a  just  perception  of  the  true  relation  of 
tlie  sexes.  Let  the  young  man  cherish  a  high  esti- 
mate of,  and  a  reverence  for,  the  character  of  the 
true  and  pure  woman,  and  a  corresponding  de- 
testation and  horror  of  her  who  abuses  and  pros- 
titutes the  privileges  of  her  sex.  Such  a  view  of 
this  relation  as  h?s  been   inculcated,  if  it  be  fully 


A    BOOK   FOR    EVERY    MAN.  1 33 

appreciated  and  heartily  received,  will  lead  him 
to  regard  a  legitimate  and  permanent  union  with 
one  of  the  other  sex  as  the  most  desirable  object 
in  life,  and  will  fill  him  with  a  loathing  for  any 
other  than  such  a  union.  The  young  man  who 
looks  forward  with  honorable  feelings  to  such 
a  connection  with  a  congenial  and  virtuous 
woman,  will  find  in  the  hopes  and  prospects 
which  it  opens  to  him  in  life  the  surest  defence 
against  the  temptations  which  continually  assail 
him."  * 

Reasoning  from  the  above,  I  endeavored  to 
show  that  while  very  early  marriages  were  prob- 
ably contracted  at  the  expense  of  the  vigor  of 
their  offspring,  it  was  yet  well  to  begin  to  found 
one's  home  while  young,  and  pointed  out  that 
a  house  was  never  a  home  till  it  contained  one's 
,  children.  The  rights  of  the  husband,  alleged 
and  actual,  were  then  discussed  ;  and  it  was 
proved  to  a  demonstration  that  so  far  from  being 
absolute,  these  rights  are  all  of  them  reciprocal 
with  duties,  and  that  in  their  assertion  and  Real- 
ization  reason  rather   than    mere    instinct    must 

*  Ware.     Loc  cit.,  p.  60. 


^34 


IS  IT  I r 


govern  us.  From  this  point,  glancing  at  its 
relations  to  divorce,  as  affording  argunients  and 
counter  arguments,  I  have  come  to  the  recapitu- 
lation, w^hich,  rightly  weighed,  of  itself  affords 
one  of  the  strongest  of  pleas  for  woman. 

She  pleads  for  what?  For  undue  power  in 
public  life,  for  undue  control  in  domestic  affairs, 
for  privileges  not  justly  her  own?  The  true  wife 
desires  none  of  these.  Suffering  through  the 
centuries,  and  the  varying  phases  of  social  civil- 
ization, she  has  been  consecutively  man's  slave, 
his  idol  for  the  moment,  his  toy.  If  recognized 
at  all  as  in  equality  of  rights,  it  has  been  in  the 
right  to  suffer,  and  lest  by  nature  she  should  not 
possess  enough  of  this,  woes  unnecessary,  unmen- 
tionable, innumerable,  have  been  heaped  upon 
her.  Every  one  knows  this,  whether  man  or 
woman,  and  if  woman's  voice  has  till  now  been 
nearly  silent,  she  will  none  the  less  value  these 
words  of  grateful  appreciation,  of  sympathy,  and 
of  appeal  to  my  fellows.  We  owe  kindness  to 
her  for  her  kindness  to  us  ;  we  owe  it,  that  W3 
may  still  possess  her  to  comfort  and  to  cheer  us ; 
we  owe  it,  for  the  sake  of  our  children,  that  they 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN. 


.53 


may  be  healthy  and  well  cared  for,  that  indeed 
the}'  may  be  born.  The  teirible  fashion  now  so 
prevalent,  of  slaughtering  the  innocents  while 
still  in  nature's  lap,  is,  in  great  measure,  attribu- 
table to  our  own  apathy,  our  own  neglect,  our 
own  teachings,  our  own  cruelty,  and  it  behooves 
every  one  of  us  to  make  such  amends  as  he  best 
can.  By  his  own  life  and  his  own  example 
every  man  can  show  his  detestation  of  that  de- 
pravity of  spirit  which  would  turn  a  woman's 
purity  into  an  ofl'ence,  and  would  nail  to  the 
block  of  sensuality  and  licentiousness  the  wings 
of  angels,  —  so  much  chaster  are  women  than 
ourselves.  Woe  unto  those  of  us  by  whom 
such  otiences  come. 

As  very  pertinent  to  this  especial  point,  I  shall 
here  present  portions  of  a  private  letter,  written 
to  me  by  a  lady  of  great  intellectual  and  moral 
worth,  well  known  indeed  throughout  the  coun- 
try.* Her  remarks  are  of  a  kind  to  rivet  atten- 
tion, plain  spoken  and  yet  delicate  as  they  are. 
"I  have  just  laid  down,"  she  says,  "your  'Book 
for  Every  Woman,'   and   I  want  to  thank  you 

♦  Mrs.  Caroline  II.  Dall,  of  Boston. 


136  IS    IT    I, 


with  all  my  heart  for  having  written  it.  I  was 
very  slow  to  be  convinced  that  any  woman  of 
decent  character  would  consciously  perpetrate  an 
abortion ;  still  slower  to  see  how  any  woman 
calling  herself  pure  minded  could  so  degrade 
the  sanctities  of  marriage  as  to  make  steady  and 
persistent  attempts  to  prevent  impregnation,  — 
and  yet  I  had  for  many  years  felt  sure  that  a  great 
many  so-called  'female  diseases'  were  incited 
and  developed  by  the  luxurious  and  indolent  hab- 
its of  our  women,  which  permit  them,  when 
neither  cultivated  nor  philanthropic,  to  become 
conscious  of  every  phase  of  gcstative  action  or 
sexual  excitement.  To  live  straight  on  is  the 
only  wholesome  way  to  live,  and  I  could  see  that 
women  were  not  doing  this,  but  watching  them- 
selves in  a  morbid  fiishion  sure  to  make  mischief. 
"  When  my  friend,  Dr.  E.  PL  C,  had  opened 
my  eyes  to  the  actual  fact,  I  felt  so  disgusted  that 
I  could  have  prayed  to  die.  Since  I  could  not 
do  that,  I  did  not  hesitate  to  speak  with  unction 
to  the  large  class  of  women  who  privately  ap- 
pealed to  me,  and  to  whose  plain  language  I  had 
not  before  known  how  to  return  any  adequate 
answer. 


A    1500K    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  1 37 

"  Will  you  believe  me,  when  I  say  that  I  usu- 
ally fiud  it  easier  to  induce  the  victim  of  seduc- 
tion to  take  the  consequences  of  her  weakness 
than  to  persuade  the  fashionable  woman  to  re- 
frain from  crime?  The  nether  millstone  is  not 
so  hard  as  the  heart  of  a  worldly  woman.  You 
will  hardly  concede  to  me  the  right  to  speak  to 
}Ou  upon  the  matter  in  a  physiological  way,  but 
will  30U  overlook  the  seeming  want  of  modesty 
which  permits  me  to  say  that  there  is  one  argu- 
ment which  has  weight  with  this  class  of  women 
that  has  not  been  appealed  to?  From  the  mo- 
ment that  I  understood  the  frequency  of  the 
attempts  made  to  prevent  impregnation  and  in- 
duce abortion,  I  felt  that  I  had  a  key  to  the  loss 
of  beauty,  of  expression,  and  the  sweet  maternal 
cliarm,  wiiich  every  one  who  thinks  must  miss  in 
this  generation  of  women. 

"  You  speak  feelingly  of  the  large  families 
wnich  used  to  make  the  homestead  charming 
and  attractive,  but  you  say  nothing  of  that  ele- 
ment of  motherliness,  which  I  have  missed  for 
years,  and  especially  of  that  genial,  loving, 
thoughtful  grandmother  who  used  to  be  the  be- 
neficent fairv  of  childhood. 


138  IS    IT    I? 

"  I  despised  myself  for  it,  but  I  did  look  in 
women's  faces  to  see  what  marks  their  lives  had 
left,  and  I  tell  you  that  it  is  a  simple  fact,  that 
women  who  habitually  prevent  impregnation 
grow  cold,  debased,  unlovely  in  their  expres- 
sion, and  that  those  who  resort  to  abortion  be- 
come sharp,  irritable,  and  ungenial,  everything, 
in  short,  that  we  mean  by  unmotherly. 

"  Now  we  n,ay  predict  disease  and  death  to 
these  fashionable  women  forever  in  vain.  They 
will  not  believe  ;  they  are  sure  they  shall  escape 
whoever  else  is  lost ;  but  if  you  tell  them  that 
they  are  destroying  all  sweetness,  grace,  and 
charm,  and  that  this  innermost  secret  of  their 
lives  is  written  plain  on  lip  and  brow  for  him 
who  runs  to  read,  the  mirror  itself  will  bear  wit- 
ness to  them.  And  if  to  their  startled  conscious- 
ness you  go  on  to  urge  the  loveliness  which  wraps 
that  woman  round  who  gives  herself  gracefully 
to  this,  the  highest  function  of  her  life,  not 
merely  loving  him  who  gives  her  children  to  her, 
but  loving  them  so  much  that  she  would  rather  live 
on  the  simplest  food,  and  wear  the  plainest  dress, 
draped  and  crowned  with  this  maternal   honor, 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVEIIY    MAN.  1 39 

than  have  all  luxury  and  all  power,  about  an  un- 
lovely and  lonely  way,  —  I  think  one  often  may, 
through  woman's  very  weakness,  appeal  to  and 
touch  the  most  sacred  impulses  of  her  nature. 

"  But  the  book  needs  a  counterpart  addressed 
to  men.  Till  they  are  willing  to  spend  as  freely 
for  wife  and  children  as  for  the  mistress,  hidden 
but  a  few  doors  of]',  women  will  hardly  be  free 
agents  in  this  matter.  No  woman  dreads  her 
travail,  as  she  dreads  the  loss  of  what  she  calls, 
in  her  unhappy  ignorance  and  blindness,  her  hus- 
band's love.  O,  that  we  could  restore  the  happy 
simplicity  of  thirty  years  ago,  when  there  were 
homes  where  we  now  have  houses,  mothers  and 
housekeepers  in  the  place  of  lady  patronesses, 
fathers  and  husbands  instead  of  loungers  at  the 
club !  But  the  world  moves  onward,  never 
backward,  and  you  must  ring  the  bugle  call 
again  and  again,  till  it  brings  conscience  and 
harmony  into  the  irregular  and  '  purposeless ' 
/narch." 

Before  this,  however,  can  be  done,  men  must 
have  a  higher  respect  for  women.  They  must 
be  taught  that  in  childhood  the  female   mind  is 


140 


IS    IT    I 


far  oftener  stainless  than  that  of  the  male,  and 
that,  saving  only  those  exceptional  cases  where 
unchastity,  like  other  family  diseases,  seems  to 
descend  from  parent  to  child,  the  vice,  really 
such,  has  been  engendered,  fostered,  developed 
in  woman  by  man.  So  truly  is  this  the  case, 
that  I  have  never  hesitated  to  consider  the  vic- 
tims of  seduction  as  generally  sinned  against 
rather  than  sinning,  and  to  teach  that  even  in  the 
mire  may  be  found  many  pearls  of  great  price 
well  worth  the  saving. 

It  is  not  generally  known,  though  most  men 
have  had  individual  experience  of  the  fact,  that 
a  large  majority  of  married  women,  whatever 
their  natural  temperament,  become  considerably 
or  entirely  apathetic  after  a  few  years  of  conjugal 
life ;  that  many  married  women  never  become 
sexually  awakened  at  all,  so  far  as  sensations  of 
pleasure  or  physical  yearning  are  concerned,  and 
that,  despite  all  the  evil  in  the  world,  and  all  the 
spread  of  knowledge,  advisable  and  imadvisable, 
there  still  exist  many  immarried  women,  not  only 
entirely  innocent  of  improper  act  or  thought,  but 
foolishly,   inexcusably   ignorant  concerning  mat- 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAX.  I4I 

ters  which  every  mother  who  would  save  her 
daughters  from  the  chance  of  great  risk,  and 
possibly  still  greater  mental  and  bodily  suffering, 
should  teach  them  beforehand,  as  is  done  to  so 
much  greater  extent  in  England  than  in  this 
country. 

These  are  the  facts,  and  it  is  an  insult  to  the 
sex  when  men  treat  women,  whether  single  or 
even  their  own  wives,  as  though  they  were  as 
sensually  minded  as  themselves.  Says  Acton, 
"  We  offer,  I  think,  no  apology  for  light  conduct 
when  we  admit  that  there  are  some  few  women, 
who,  like  men,  in  consequence  of  hereditary 
predisposition  or  ill-directed  moral  education, 
find  it  difficult  to  restrain  their  passions,  while 
their  more  fortunate  sisters  have  never  been 
tempted,  and  have,  therefore,  never  fallen.  This, 
however,  does  not  alter  the  fact  which  I  would 
v'enture  again  to  impress  on  the  reader,  that  in 
general  women  do  not  feel  any  great  sexual  ten- 
dencies. The  unfortunately  large  numbers  whose 
lives  would  seem  to  prove  the  contrary,  are  to  be 
accounted  for  on  much  more  mercenary  motives 
—  vanity,   giddiness,   greediness,    love    of  dress, 


143  IS  IT  I  r 

distress,  hunger,  make  women  prostitutes,  but 
not  generally  sensuality."  * 

I  know  that  there  are  none  so  prone  to  plunge 
a  fallen  woman  deeper  into  the  mire,  alike  by 
their  acts  and  their  tongues,  as  women  them- 
selves. Thoughtless,  forgetting  that  if  exposed 
to  the  same  dangers  or  the  same  temptations  they 
also  might  have  erred,  women  too  often  give  to 
us  men  the  iuipression  that  they  are  themselves 
but  hypocrites  and  whited  sepulchres  ;  too  often 
the  first  step  towards  a  woman's  ruin  has  been 
from  mere  curiosity  to  see  if  she  were  really 
the  immaculate  and  unapproachable  creature  her 
words  would  proclaim  her.  A  woman's  hasty 
and  uncharitable  condemnation  of  an  erring 
sister  may  well  serve  as  a  challenge  to  the  tester 
of  souls.  As  for  us,  he  that  is  without  sin  let 
him  cast  the  first  stone. 

Men  often  complain  of  the  apathy  in  their 
wives,  to  which  I  have  just  referred,  and  im- 
properly attribute  it  to  want  of  affection.  It  is 
in  no  small  number  of  cases  the  result  of  phys- 

*  Loc.  cit.,  p.  137. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  I43 

ical  suffering,  often  extreme,  and  sometimes  en- 
dured without  a  word  of  complaint  even  to  the 
end.  The  spirit  prompting  this  great  patience 
is  one  of  the  truest  and  most  self-sacrificing  hero- 
ism. I  do  not,  however,  hesitate  to  pronounce 
it  wrong,  and  to  declare  the  silence  of  one  wo- 
man, under  such  circumstances,  is  a  positive 
harm  to  her  whole  sex.  It  is  often  through  a 
mistaken  sense  of  duty  —  an  opinion  encouraged 
of  course  by  the  husband,  and  sometimes  even 
by  the  medical  attendant,  to  whom  the  simplest 
principles  of  his  science  should  teach  a  more 
reasonable  view.  Thus  one  eminent  writer  re- 
marks: "In  some  instances,  indeed,  feeling  has 
been  sacrificed  to  duty,  and  the  wife  has  en- 
dured, with  all  the  self-martyrdom  of  woman- 
hood, what  was  almost  worse  tlian  death."  * 
Even  in  tliese  later  days,  since  it  has  been  discov- 
ered that  there  almost  always  exists  a  physical 
cause  for  all  the  many  peculiar  woes  that  wo- 
men suffer,  there  are  still  many  husbands,  there 
are  still  physicians,  who  see  in  a  wife's  languor, 

*  Ibid.,  p.  134. 


144 


IS    IT    li 


a  wife's  disability,  a  wife's  complaints,  but  the 
vain  imaginings  of  a  distempered  mind,  oi-«the 
restless  chafing  of  a  soured  and  impatient  dispo- 
sition, and  think  that  by  according  even  but 
trifling  sympathy,  they  are  encouraging  a  ground- 
less whim,  or  exciting  to  ennui,  hysteria,  or  rebel- 
lion. Hard,  indeed,  the  lives  of  these  poor  suffer- 
ers,—  who,  if  half  confessing  their  secret  distress, 
are  thought  to  -exaggerate  a  trifling  ailment,  or  to 
fabricate  one  for  the  occasion.  And  3'et  it  is 
upon  just  these  troubles,  actual  and  ver}'  real, 
upon  just  these  sufl'erings,  harassing  and  often 
very  intense,  that  half  the  woes  of  a  woman's 
life  are  based.  They  cause  her  to  reject  her  hus- 
band, to  destroy  her  unborn  offspring ;  they 
make  her  moody  and  despondent,  and  to  look 
forward  without  hope  ;  they  often  send  her  to  the 
insane  asylum,  and  not  unfrequcntly  cause  her  to 
take  her  life  ;  just  these  simple  troubles,  so  easily 
detected  when  searched  for,  and  many  of  them 
so  easily  cured. 

These  are  matters  upon  which  we  may  well 
pcr.der.  They  concern  every  man,  whether  gen- 
tleman by  birth,  education,  or  pretence,  and  he 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  I45 

who  scolTs  at  the  word  as  usurped,  yet  generally 
makes  of  its  idea  the  standard  he  would  be  p^lad 
to  reach.  If  we  have  no  such  aim,  we  do  not 
deserve  to  live;  and  of  all  the  tests  of  such,  the 
one  always  nominally  most  acknowledged,  has 
been  respectful  conduct  towards  women,  and  the 
endeavor  to  protect  them  from  harm.  Courteous 
to  strangers,  we  should  be  still  more  so  to  our 
own,  and  so  be  most  truly  brave  in  fighting 
down  and  conquering  ourselves.  To  aid  us  in 
such  chivalrous  work  was  one  chief  end  of  The 
Good  Physician  ;  himself  master  of  self,  and, 
therefore,  free  from  sin.  It  is  surely  no  slight  labor 
to  endeavor  thus  to  evangelize,  no  slight  gain 
can  we  but  thus  be  chastened,  for  chasteness  is 
only  to  be  gained  by  strict  self-chastening,  which, 
fruit  from  a  perfect  blossom,  is  the  sign  of  a 
fuller  love  thus  gained  to  us,  both  human  and 
divine. 

How  can  I  better  close  my  plea  for  a  purer 
port  towards  woman  than  by  the  pungent,  sen- 
sible, philosophical  maxims  of  Jeremy  Taylor? 
Let  this  good  old  prelate,  whose  whole  life  was 
in  accordance  Vv'ith  his  own  unsullied  precepts, 


146 


IS    IT    I 


be  to  ourselves  as  to  those  who  long  ago  pre- 
ceded us,  a  Ductor  Dubitantium,  to  lead  us  from 
the  devious  paths  of  sensuality  into  the  Golden 
Grove  of  an  earthly  paradise.* 

"  Married  persons,"  he  says,  "  must  keep  such 
modesty  and  decency  of  treating  each  other  that 
they  never  force  themselves  into  high  and  violent 
lusts  w^ith  arts  and  misbecoming  devices.  It  is 
the  duty  of  matihiionial  chastity  to  be  restrained 
and  temperate  in  the  use  of  their  lav/ful  pleas- 
ures. In  their  permissions  and  license,  they 
must  be  sure  to  observe  the  order  of  nature 
and  the  ends  of  God.  lie  is  an  ill  husband  that 
uses  his  wife  as  a  man  treats  a  harlot,  having  no 
other  end  but  pleasure.  Concerning  which  our 
best  rule  is,  tliat  although  in  this,  as  in  eating 
and  drinking,  there  is  an  appetite  to  be  satisfied, 
which  cannot  be  done  without  satisfying  that 
desire,  yet  since  that  desire  and  satisfaction  w\as 
intended  by  nature  for  other  ends,  they  should 
never  be  separate  from  those  ends,  but  always  be 

*  To  some  of  the  oldest  among  us,  the  expressions 
noted  above  will  recall  the  titles  of  two  of  Jeremy 
Taylor's  best  known  works. 


A    BOOK    FOR    EVERY    MAN.  1 47 

joined  with  all  or  one  of  these  ends,  —  with  a  de- 
sire of  children,  or  to  avoid  fornication,  or  to 
lighten  and  ease  the  cares  and  sadnesses  of  house- 
hold affairs,  or  to  endear  each  other  ;  but  never 
with  a  purpose,  either  in  act  or  desire,  to  separate 
the  sensuality  from  those  ends  which  hallow  it."  * 
There  are  men  who  live  thus  soberly  and 
wisely.  Let  each  of  my  readers,  before  closing 
this  book,  again  ask  himself,  "  Is  it  T?" 

*  Rule  and  Exercise  of  Holy  Living,  p.  70. 
II 


APPENDIX. 


[From  the  fViston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal  for  November  1 .  1S6G.] 
"WHY   NOT?      A   BOOK   FOR    EVERY   WOMAN." 

A   WOMAN'S   VIEW.* 

The  lignt  in  which  a  subject  presents  itseh"  depends 
very  much  upon  the  standpoint  from  which  we  view  it. 
Dr.  Storer's  arguments  and  statements  are  earnest,  con- 
scientious and  powerful ;  but  women,  the  chief  players 
in  this  tragedy  of  life,  feel  that  while  the  facts  are  in 
possession  of  medical  men,  their  motives  are  not  so  well 
known  and  appi-eciated.  Often  they  are  of  such  a  char- 
acter as  may  not  be  repeated,  even  to  the  long-tried  and 
trusted  physician ;  for  there  are  certain  things  of  too 
painfully  delicate  a  nature  for  woman's  lips  to  utter  to 
a  masculine  ear,  v/hile  to  a  sister  sympathizer,  perhaps, 
the  whole  story  is  freely  poured  out. 

Abortion  is  fearfully  frequent,  even  more  so  than  Dr. 

*  This  communication,  a  proper  supplement  to  Dr.  Storer's  prize  essay 
published  under  the  above  title,  has  been  sent  to  us  by  a  lady,  "the  wife 
of  a  Christian  physician,"  who  has  certainly  expressed  with  exceeding 
delicacy  and  truthfulness  the  universal  feeling  of  her  sex  upon  a  subject 
which  deserves  more  attention  from  our  profession  than  it  has  hitherto 
received.  We  publish  it  with  pleasure,  and  wish  that  it  might  find  its  way^ 
in  some  more  popular  form  than  our  pages  atford,  to  the  eyes  of  every 
husband  in  the  laud.  — Editors  Medical  and  Surgical  Jouriial. 

C149) 


150 


APPENDIX. 


Storer  has  assumed,  and  is  rapidly  increasing.  One 
great  reason  of  the  aversion  to  child-bearing  is  the 
thousand  disagreeable  and  painful  experiences  which 
attend  the  long  months  of  patient  waiting,  and  the 
certain  agony  at  the  end  —  agony  which  is  akin  to  noth- 
ing else  on  earth  —  agony  which  the  tenderest  suscepti- 
bilities and  sympathies  of  the  noblest  ph^'sician  can  but 
faintly  imagine  —  agony  which,  in  not  one  case  in  a 
hundred,  is  mitigated  by  anaesthesia.  If  the  blessed, 
benevolent  suggestion  of  the  general  use  of  chloroform 
could  be  adopted,  the  world  would  hear  less  of  abor- 
tions. The  thousand  times  reiterated  fact,  that  "it  is 
a  woman's  duty  to  suffer  this,"  and  that  it  is  "  the  end 
to  which  she  was  created,"  is  but  sorry  comfort  in  the 
hour  of  her  anguish,  and  such  injunctions  will,  of  them- 
selves, never  work  reformation. 

It  is  a  suggestive  fact  that  it  is  not  young  wives,  but 
mothers,  who  most  frequently  procure  abortion ;  women 
of  mature  years,  who  know  what  they  are  doing,  and 
the  danger  before  them.  That  they  are  guilty  of  taking 
life  is  not  generally  understood  (that  there  is  life  ac- 
tually existing  at  the  time  the  bud  is  blighted),  but  that 
';he  essential  principle,  which,  under  favoring  circum- 
stances, might  at  some  distant  day  produce  life,  is 
removed. 

It  is  not  strange  that  women  of  delicate  organization 
shrink  from  suffering,  and  perhaps  grow  cowardly  in 
the  face  of  duty.  Many  is  the  intelligent  woman,  noble 
in  all  else,  who  says,  consciously  and  deliberately,  "  I 
would  rather  die  than  pass  through  that  agony  again ;  " 
and,  in  such  a  frame  of  mind,  how  long  would  the 
prospect  of  feeble  health  at  some  distant  daj',  weigh 
with  the  prospect  of  immediate   suffering,   almost,  or 


APPENDIX  i:jl 

quite  to  death?     I  do  not  say  she  is  riglit.     I  only  say 
she  needs  something  else  than  censure. 

The  true  and  ^^reaiesi  cause  of  abortion  is  o.ne  hidden 
from  the  world,  viz.,  unhappiness  and  want  of  consid- 
eration towards  wives  in  the  marriage  relation,  the 
more  refined  education  of  girls,  and  their  subsequent 
revolting  from  the  degradation  of  being  a  mere  thing  — 
an  appendage.  All  the  world  knows  that  in  this  "  age 
of  progress  "  marriage  is  too  often  corrupted  from  a 
sanctuary  of  love  and  purity,  to  a  convenience  for 
revelling  and  grossness.  Many  is  the  intellectual,  spir- 
itual woman  bound  to  such  a  condition,  which  she  will 
not,  for  pride's  sake,  or  honor's  sake,  report.  Stung  by 
disappointment,  she  rebels,  and  is  perhaps  told  that 
marital  rights  are  ordained  of  society  and  Heaven,  and 
that  she,  knowing  it,  should  not  have  come  within  their 
power.  A  very  common  argument,  true  within  limits  ; 
but  power  does  not  necessarily  imply  right  of  abuse. 
She  is,  perhaps,  on  the  way  to  motherhood,  and  wiA 
her  feeble  strength,  depressed  spirits,  and  waning  ambi- 
tion and  courage,  she  needs  sympathy,  comfort,  and 
encouragement.  Surely  her  burden  is  heavy  enough. 
But  if  she  grieves  or  complains,  she  is  perhaps  con- 
fronted with  the  assertion  that  it  is  what  she  is  made 
for;  and  with  bitterness  of  heart  and  sorrow  of  soul, 
looking  down  through  long  weeks  of  heart-sickness  and 
physical  pain  and  unrest,  to  the  dreaded,  unknown 
crisis,  to  the  after  years  of  care,  labor,  and  anxiety,  and 
all  to  bear  without  hearty  sj-mpathy,  what  wonder 
that  she  is  in  despair,  and  little  cares  v  hether  she  live 
or.  die.''  Yet  she  must  smile,  and  be  cheerful  to  the 
world,  and  it  never  guesses  all  is  not  right  at  home. 
This  is  not  fancy  (would  it  were!  ),  but  veritable,  every- 


15- 


APPENDIX. 


day  life.  If  she  learns  a  way  of  escape,  -what  wonder 
that  she  count  herself  happy  to  be  rid  of,  not  so  much 
the  pledge  of  a  husband's  love,  as  of  his  selfishness,  that 
has  haunted  her  life !  What  wonder  if  she  for  a  time 
forget  her  moral  obligations  in  her  extremity,  and  is 
indifferent  to  the  life  which  is  no  longer  a  blessing! 
Remonstrance  is  met  at  home,  perhaps  with  inattention, 
perhaps  with  blame.  Remonstrance  abroad  is  forbid- 
den. Whither  shall  she  turn.?  What  is  left  but  to  bury 
her  grief  in  her  own  heart,  and  live  on  as  best  she  may? 
Deal  tenderly  with  these  stricken  ones.  Condemn  them 
not  utterly,  for  though  they  sin,  they  are  sinned 
against.  Don't  load  them  with  all  the  guilt,  for  they 
are  already  overborne.  Not  that  sin  in  one  excuses  sin 
in  another,  but  it  is  harder  to  walk  with  a  mountain  in 
our  way,  than  in  a  smooth,  well-beaten  path. 

Dr.  Storer  says,  if  women  would  avoid  consequences, 
they  must  make  choice  of  time  ;  but  in  the  goodness  and 
generosity  of  his  heart,  he  fails  to  see  that  no  choice  is 
allowed  them  in  many  cases.  They  are  not  indepen- 
dent, but  subject;  and  all  teaching  tends  to  keep  them 
so.  Here  is  just  where  the  trouble  begins.  This  is  why 
they  rebel.  Save  themselves  from  the  cause  they  can- 
not. The  consequence  is  mainly  within  their  power, 
and  the  temptation  is  strong  to  throw  off  the  bond  which 
confines  them  to  the  fireside.  Domestic  and  maternal 
duties  and  joys,  in  moderate  degree,  make  women  nobler 
and  better;  but  do  not  for  a  moment  imagine  that  an 
almost  absolute  imprisonment  at  home,  for  ten  years  or 
more,  as  is  common,  with  finances  ranging  as  tliey 
ordinarily  do,  can  tend  to  make  wives  more  intelligent, 
more  companionable,  more  Christian,  or  more  happy. 
It  may  be  duty,  but  of  the  stamp  unmingled  with  joy. 


APPENDIX.  153 

It  is  noticeable  that  happj  wives,  stra.ig  in  the  affec- 
tionate regard  of  considerate  husbands,  rarely  attempt 
this  violence.  There  is  but  one  stronger  element  known 
to  society  than  that  of  a  true  woman's  love  for  a  worthy 
husband ;  one  who  is  careful  for  her  comfort  and  her 
preferences.  It  is  generally  admitted  that  women  are 
not  more  selfish  than  men ;  that  they  are  as  ready  to 
sacrifice  comfort,  to  yield  to  inconvenience,  as  quick  to 
appreciate  consideration  and  to  requite  it,  as  men.  Let 
such  a  woman,  be  she  ever  so  slight  and  fragile,  ever  so 
much  averse  to  motherhood,  let  her  but  be  convinced 
that  her  husband  would  be  happier  with  little  voices 
singing  in  his  home,  and  let  him  sustain  her,  and  pity 
ier,  and  she  will  bear  it  all,  even  to  the  end,  cheerfully. 
No  complaints  will  be  heai-d,  and  the  influence  of  that 
household  will  be  pure. 

Do  not  accuse  me  of  justifying  abortion,  or  of  seeking 
to  lay  blame  upon  innocent  shoulders.  Abortion  is  a 
crime,  and  women  are  guilty  of  it,  but  thev  sin  not 
alone.  While  attention  is  being  called  to  the  fact,  why 
not  also  to  the  cause  ?  Wives'  burdens  are  too  heavy, 
as  blanched  cheeks  and  early  graves  continually  testify, 
—  and  the  more  intelligent  they  are,  the  more  they  re- 
coil in  disgust  from  the  life  they  are  led;  for,  mark  it, 
it  is  not  the  ignorant  class  who  are  guilty  of  procuring 
TbcMon. 

But  what  shall  we  say  for  the  unhappy,  unfortunate 
women,  by  no  means  few  or  inferior,  who  are  victims 
of  selfish  and  gross  husbands,  who  are  allowed  no 
choice  of  time  or  convenience,  whose  hearts  ache  with 
disappointment  and  degradation,  who  find  the  heaviest 
burdens  of  life  heaped  upon  them  without  feeling,  who 
go  almost  into  the  shadow  of  death,  and  yet  return  to 


154 


APPENDIX. 


make  the  pilgrimage  again  and  again — what  shall  we 
say  for  them,  if  thej  do,  in  their  desperation,  find  an 
escape  from  the  consequences  of  what  was  unwillingly 
forced  upon  them  ?  Will  the  Father  of  the  sorrowful 
have  no  mercy  on  them?  Surely  they  are  in  evil  case, 
and  their  numbers  are  manifold.  Thank  God,  there 
are  yet  some  royal  souls  true  to  principle. 

If  Dr.  Storer  will  perform  as  noble  service  for  our 
brothers  and  husbands  as  for  ourselves,  and  send  the 
two  books  out  hand  in  hand,  they  will  bring  him  back 
a  rich  harvest  of  gratitude,  and  amendment  in  morals. 
Let  women  feel  that  they  are  honored  and  appreciated, 
really,  for  their  worth,  not  for  their  convenience,  and 
the  mass  will  not  attempt  to  defeat  the  purposes  of  their 
being.  For  those  to  whom  fashion  is  god,  I  have  not 
a  word  to  offer.     Let  them  plead  for  themselves. 


WHY     NOT? 

A.    BOOK     FOR    EA-^ERY     ^WOINXAISI 

BY 

PROF.   E.    R.    STORER,    M.    D. 


OPINIONS    OF    THE    PRESS. 

The  American  Medical  Association  have  done  a  good 
work  in  authorizing  the  issue  of  this  essay  for  general 
circulation.  To  the  majority  of  medical  men,  of  any 
large  experience,  of  course  the  subject  is  sufficiently 
familiar,  and  the  evils  of  forced  abortions,  independ- 
ently of  the  moral  obliquity  of  the  act,  are  well  known. 
But  those  most  directly  interested  —  the  women  of  the 
country  —  are,  as  a  rule,  ignorant  of  their  evil  effects, 
and  all  the  influence  of  their  medical  advisers  has  hith- 
erto proved  ineffectual  to  put  a  stop  to  the  lamentable 
and  criminal  sacrifice  of  fcetal  life.  Curiously  enough, 
any  moral  considerations  of  the  question  have  little  or 
no  weight  with  those  determined  to  prevent  any  further 
increase  of  their  families,  —  for  it  is  among  the  married 
that  the  practice  obtains  to  the  largest  degree,  —  and  it 
is  only  by  direct  appeals  to  the  common  sense  of  females, 
and  by  convincing  proofs  of  the  long  train  of  diseases 
that  are  so  sure  to  follow  this  unnatural  crime,  that  any 
good  results  can  be  hoped  for.  This  point  Dr.  Storer 
has  forcibly  considered,  and  placed  the  matter  in  its  true 
light  so  far  as  relates  to  the  subjects  themselves. 

The  opinion  b  is  somehow  gained  credence  that  induced 


OPINIONS    OF    THE    PRESS. 

abortions  are  not  unfrequentlj  effected  b^;  the  better 
class  of  physicians.  Dr.  Storer,  while  repftt  iating  this 
gross  misrepresentation,  and  claiming, that  physicians 
are  unanimous  as  to  the  sanctity  of  foetal  life,  admits 
that  they  have,  to  a  certain  extent,  innocently  and  unin- 
tentionally given  grounds  for  the  prevalent  ignorance 
on  this  subject,  and  lays  down  as  a  fundamental  prin- 
ciple that  abortion,  no  matter  how  indicated,  should 
never  be  induced  by  a  physician  upon  his  own  uncorrob- 
orated opinion.  The  law  should  provide  this  safeguard 
against  the  destruction  of  foetal  life.  As  in  insanity, 
where,  in  some  of  our  States,  the  certificate  of  at  least 
two  physicians  is  required  before  a  legal  commitment  to 
the  asylum  can  be  obtained,  so  here  the  law  should  pro- 
vide at  once  the  safeguard  against  the  destruction  of 
foetal  life,  and  extend  to  the  physician  its  protection 
against  the  claims  of  pity,  or  personal  sympathy,  or 
importunate  entreaty,  to  say  nothing  of  direct  offer  of 
comparatively  enormous  compensation. 

We  cannot  follow  Dr.  Storer  in  his  arguments.  They 
are  so  concisely  stated  that  to  give  even  a  fair  exposition 
of  them  would  necessitate  the  quotation  of  a  large  part 
of  the  work.  —  Ne-w  York  Medical  Journal,  Sept.,  1866. 

Such  a  production  from  a  physician  of  character  and 
eminence  has  long  been  needed,  for  the  extent  to  which 
the  crime  to  which  it  relates  is  practised,  even  by  women 
holding  respectable  positions  in  society,  is  fearfully 
great;  and  we  rejoice  that  Dr.  Storer,  with  such  mani- 
fest intrepidity,  learning  and  thoroughness,  has  done 
his  full  duty  to  humanity  in  the  preparation  of  this 
paper.  "Why  not"  should  the  subject  be  discussed? 
—  for  nothing  is  so  intimately  connected  with  the  health 


OPINIONS    OF    THE    PRESS. 

and  happiness  of  women,  the  welfare  of  the  community, 
and  the  greatness  of  the  nation,  as  the  birth  of  vigorous 
children.  The  present  edition  is  a  neat  and  convenient 
volume,  and  just  the  thing  for  a  present  to  every  young 
wife.  —  Boston   Comino7iivealth. 

"Why  Not.?  a  Book  for  every  Woman,"  cannot  be 
too  universally  read.  It  is  a  prize  essay  on  criminal 
abortion,  which  has  become  so  alarmingly  common, 
and  is  brief,  concise,  plain,  free  from  technicalities,  ear- 
nestlj'  written,  and  calculated  to  do  much  good.  It  is 
high  time  that  physicians  "  spoke  out"  in  regard  to  this 
crime,  and  Dr.  Storer,  from  his  great  experience,  and 
the  large  attention  he  has  given  to  this  subject,  seems 
to  be  the  one  above  all  others  from  whom  a  recitation 
of  the  evils  of  abortion,  and  an  appeal  to  the  women 
in  behalf  of  themselves  and  their  offspring,  would  have 
the  most  weight.  No  false  modesty  or  squeamishness 
should  prevent  the  advocates  of  a  reform  of  this  evil 
from  assisting  to  give  this  little  book  a  wide  circulation. 
—  S;priugfield  {Afass.)  Republican. 

Dr.  Storer  evinces  high  moral  courage  in  addressing 
the  public  upon  a  subject  which  it  would  be  more  agree- 
able to  most  men  to  pass  without  observation.  But 
having  become  familiar,  in  his  medical  studies  and  prac- 
tice, with  causes  which  he  believes  are  not  without  a 
baneful  influence  upon  the  constitution  of  many  of  the 
female  sex,  he  ventures  to  present  for  their  consideration 
this  chapter  of  medical  science  and  ethics.  He  is  plain, 
direct,  and  earnest  in  the  presentation  of  his  views 
upon  a  subject  which,  we  believe,  he  is  the  first  to  make 
the  theme  for  public  disquisition. —  Worcester  Palla- 
dium. 


OPINIONS    OF    THE    PRESS. 

The  subject  of  this  essay  is  one,  we  believe,  which  ig 
largely  engaging  the  attention  of  the  medical  fraternity, 
as  well  as  that  of  many  others  at  the  present  time. 
Few  have  cared  to  investigate  the  full  extent  of  the  evil. 
Those  who  have  done  so,  find  this  system  of  abortion, 
especially  on  the  part  of  married  women,  a  great  and 
growing  danger.  Already  in  many  parts  of  our  coun- 
try the  number  of  foreign  births  is  largely  in  excess  of 
native  ones,  and  the  large  families  of  our  ancestoi'S  find 
no  counterpart  in  our  day.  Without  passing  judgment 
upon  all  of  Dr  Storer's  conclusions,  or  claiming  that 
his  argument  is  altogether  sound,  as  that  of  few  enthu- 
siasts is,  we  yet  recommend  to  every  woman  a  perusal 
of  the  work.  —  Northampton  Free  Press. 

Dr.  Storer  has  given  more  attention  to  this  subject 
than  any  other  professional  man  in  the  country;  and 
he  is  so  deeply  impressed  by  his  knowledge  of  the  fre- 
quency, criminality,  immorality,  and  dangers  of  the 
practice  in  question,  that  his  appeal  to  "every  woman  " 
is  most  direct,  forcible,  earnest,  and  eloquent.  Many 
readers  will  be  astonished  at  the  evidence  adduced  by 
Dr.  Storer  to  show  the  increase  and  frequency  of  this 
crime  in  our  country.  But  few  will  wonder  at  the  ear- 
nestness and  even  intense  feeling  with  which  the  author 
presses  this  subject  home  upon  the  feelings,  the  con- 
sciertces,  and  the  fears  of  his  readers,  after  they  have 
read  his  startling  exposition  of  the  evils,  dangers,  and 
fatal  results  which  are  produced  by  this  great  offence 
against  the  laws  of  God  and  man.  —  Salem  Observer. 

We  commend  this  essay  to  every  wife,  and  to  all 
women  about  to  be  married.  The  subject  is  treated 
with  commendable  fidelity  to  the  good  of  humanity,  and 


OPINIONS    OF   THE    PRESS. 

a  genuine  zeal  for  truth,  and  at  the  same  time  with  all 
due  delicacy,  and  no  false  modesty  should  prevent  any 
pure-beai-ted  woman  from  seeking  to  know  its  contents. 
Honi  sott  qui  mal y  fense^  as  the  French  sajr;  or,  as  the 
highest  authority  saith,  "To  the  pure  all  things  are 
pure."  So  let  no  one  object  to  this  notice,  but  forthwith 
read  and  circulate  the  book,  that  erring,  mistaken,  guilty 
ones  may  know  "  Why  Not.^*"  —  Ladies'  Repository. 

This  elegantly  written  little  book,  unexceptionable  in 
tone  and  singularly  free  from  pedantry,  discusses  the 
subject  of  criminal  abortion  in  all  its  bearings.  The 
moralist  and  politico-economist  will  find  much  that  will 
awaken  thought,  if  not  arouse  to  action,  while  the  very 
large  class  to  whom  it  is  addressed  cannot  fail  to  be 
convinced  —  and  may  we  not  hope  converted  ?  —  by  the 
stern  logic  of  its  well  put  scientific  truths. — American 
Homosofathic  Review,  Detroit,  Michigan. 

The  evidence  adduced  by  Dr.  Storer  is  unanswerable. 
Every  married  man  and  woman  in  the  land  knows  its 
truth.  He  does  not  exaggerate,  but  rather  under-esti- 
mates  the  evil ;  and  were  it  possible  to  make  extracts 
from  a  work  of  this  kind  in  a  newspaper,  any  page  out 
of  the  hundred  would  blanch  many  very  respectable 
married  people's  cheeks  with  righteous  shame.  It  is 
the  best  antidote  to  quack  pills  and  vile  "  French  inven- 
tions "  that  has  been  issued  within  the  century.  —  Wau- 
Ifgan  Gazette. 


"A   PLEA    FOR  JUSTICE   TO   WOMEN. 


THE  COLLEGE,  THE  MARKET,  and  THE  COURT; 

OR, 

■Woman's  Eelation  to  Education,  Labor,  and  Law. 
By    MRS.    CAROLINE    H.   DALL. 

Crown  Svo.    Tinted  paper.    S2.50. 


Opinions    of  tlie   I»x'ess. 

The  Independent  says  : 

The  work  of  Mrs.  Dall,  in  addition  to  its  eloquent  and  forcible 
appeals,  abounds  in  statistical  facts  and  lig'ures  of  great  interest 
and  value  to  those  who  are  laboring  in  behalf  of  the  elevation  of 
woman.  Her  statements  are  as  convincing  to  the  intellect  as  they 
are  suggestive  to  the  imagination.  Her  zeal  in  the  cause  is  justified 
by  her  ability  in  its  support.  As  a  woman  she  does  honor  to  a 
movement  which  numbers  among  its  advocates  so  many  of  the 
finest  minds  and  noblest  hearts  of  tlie  age  in  the  other  sex. 

She  has  taken  hold  of  a  great  subject,  one  that  is  more  and  more 
engaging  the  attention  of  the  civilized  world,  and  her  investiga- 
tions and  conclusions  show  a  grasp  of  thouglit  which  many  a  man 
miglit  well  envy.  —  Congregationalist. 

The  marked  ability  with  which  the  author  advocates  her  cause, 
should  and  will  command  for  her  the  respectful  consideration  of 
even  her  opponents.  —  Home  Journal. 

It  must  be  acknowledged  that  the  author  has  made  many  strong 
points  —  points  that  it  would  be  difficult  to  gainsay. —  Toledo  Blade. 

An  eloquent  and  sensible  plea  for  justice  to  women.  It  deserves 
to  be  read,  and  will  lie  read,  for  it  is  too  interesting  to  escape  even 
the  idle  and  tliouglitless.  —  New  York  Evening  Post. 

The  cause  of  Equal  Rights  can  no  longer  be  accused  of  dulness. 
Mrs.  Dall  has  taken  from  it  that  reproacli.  There  is  satisfaction 
in  seeing  her  clear  common  sense  walk  straiglit  and  calm  to  its 
mark,  wliicli  is  justice  ;  and  more  than  satisfaction  in  the  grace  of 
words  and  the  beauty  of  quotations  with  which  she  adorns  her 
going.  —  Worcester  Spy. 

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BY 

MISS  AMANDA  M.  DOUGLAS. 
I. 

12mo.    Price  $1.50. 

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on  steadily  to  its  climax,  witliout  being-  lost  from  time  to  time  in  a 
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II. 

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In  the  present  work  she  (the  author)  has  thrown  all  the  brilliancy 
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It  is  a  fine  picture  of  real  family  life,  pervaded  by  a  genuine 
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